In 2011, Are There People That "Get Pregnant" & It's a Surprise to Them?

Millions of women each year have unplanned pregnancies. There is no birth control that is 100% effective, so yeah it happens.

I found out in January that I was pregnant. I was in complete shock. We were using condoms to prevent until I had my next cycle where I had the pills ready to start. We used condoms the entire time I breastfed my daughter, even though I had difficulty conceiving and have in the past used fertility drugs. We slipped up and didn't use a condom once and I was pregnant, so yes even as educated as you can be it happens and we were thrilled. However it wasn't meant to be...

I know a few people like that, yes.
They don't feel daunted by the idea of adding another child.

I'm NOT in that category at all. But yes, there really are people that are OK with just going with the flow (and they're not even highly religious, which is where I can see that POV being a majority).

You are talking about me.NO I didn't plan this pregnancy I used protection.I don't force myself to have sex with him every few days it is more like 2-3 times every few months.I don't like to have sex for many reasons not just to avoid another pregnancy.This is shocking to you that we have sex with our husbands regardless if we have the desire or not,just because we don't want to become pregnant but it can still happen,the thought of me being done having kids was after my 3rd for many reasons.
I'm not playing roulette nor did I plan for this to happen, so if i'am pregnant with another baby life still goes on.So your a control freak did you get a hysterectomy to stop you from having more kids or just using BC to stop from becoming pregnant there isn't 100% sure method to stop from having another baby unless you don't have sex or take out all your girls parts.
My answer was revised only because you had to point it out that us women who become pregnant with or without wanting to be a surprise like it's some shame we should hold against ourselves.So don't slip up or it could happen to you that you could add another O. to your family tree.What are you a planner must be according to your post If it doesn't plan out that way what would you do or how would you feel if that BC method failed?
To answer the question fully I planned my first & second I was 21 yrs old when I had a fertility test doen to make sure I was able to conceive & carry a baby without fertility issues (had none to begin with just for peace of mind didn't want to try for nothing)so he was my first @ 22,then we got married I wanted to have another in a year or so,so had my preconception visit to amke sure I was in the clear son was 3 conceived in the same month of preconception visit back to see OB in 6 weeks with chuckles from him,after she was born it was iffy if I would conceive again after what had happened twice after she was born still it wasn't determined,after baby was 18 months I found out I became pregnant with my 3rd it was great I knew that this is possibly my last pregnancy after this O. & inbetween all the others I did use OTC BC,so if i'am pregnant again there isn't a burdin just the worries that come with pregnancy,& the hectic lifestyle changes that we all need to adjust to.I would prefer to have 3-4 children than just a lonely O. I came from 3 my hubby came from 3 siblings my sis has 3 it seems like a good number but if your not able to handle 1 then adding more will be more challenging

We also play this type of roulette. ;)
I have been thinking about the subject myself lately...
Pregnancy doesn't just "happen" for us. We kinda have to work for it. ;) So we don't put a lot of effort into preventing it. If I get pg again, I know it is God's plan. (No, I'm not Catholic.)
I was thinking about it cause after so much "trying to get pg", I still feel that disappointment when my period starts. Even though I'm not trying.
So silly.
Anyone else get that?

I guess in a way I like that my body is this way-I like leaving it in God's hands. It is too hard of a decision for me to make. :)

My husband and I agreed to "kick the goalie out of the game" for a few months last year and see what happened. If we were meant to have a third, it would happen, and if not, we'd move on with no regrets.

I have to say I was surprised (and thrilled!) to be pregnant on our first cycle. At 42, that's not a sure bet, to say the least! I'm 26 weeks along and doing great. This little guy was just waiting for an opportunity to show up :-)

No but in 2004, 2006 and 2007, I had no idea where babies came from. I only knew we had sex and then a month later I was knocked up...Putting the two together I have drawn my conclusion...it must have been all the sex!! so now i have my tubes tied...birth control made me sick and i cant even remember what a condom looks like...

Dont think though that if your fixed your free from preg. My mom and dad were both fixed. at 44 they found out that my mom was pregnant with my little sister...I call my mom mother mary sometimes....both were fixed!! miracle...I think so!

I totally agree with you!!!! I definitely don't play roulette. Having a baby should be a conscious decision. Any other way is irresponsible, especially if you do not have the resources to support a child.

Also, Denise- I usually LOVE your posts- you are witty, funny, and candid. However, I feel I I have to tell you I think it's a little tacky to refer to another Mom's post in this way. I know you didn't mean to offend anybody but I hope it doesn't offend the original poster (I didn't see the original post... yet).

We are definitely planning NOT to get pregnant again! We use protection everytime, with no exceptions! BUT, no birth control is 100% effective... If we had another now, even though we have decided we're done, I would be excited. I truely believe each child is a gift from God and I would believe it was his will for this child to be part of our family. Someday I will have permanent birth control, but at 31, I'm not ready yet.

All three of my kids were planned.

I know several moms with bachelor's degrees who had MULTIPLE SURPRISE pregnancies. How is that even possible?

I play roulette.....only i like the bullet, and welcome it. But now that ive had 2, and have recently decided to not add another im getting my husband fixed.

We were surprised the first two times, completely not planned and i don't mind the way it happened at all. It is irresponsible to not use anything when you dont WANT to get pregnant or will have an abortion. Bt im in love and both my babies were absolute gifts from god.

My neighbor had her tubes tied after child #4 eight years ago - she's 3mos pregnant. An ex-coworker was in a horrible car accident 20yrs ago leaving her with 1/2 of an ovary - she had 3 kids. For them, being shocked is reasonable to me.

To my friend who says she's done after 2 kids, but she and her husband use the "pull and pray" method, which seems very odd to me and they should not be shocked if she ends up pregnant.

Two of my sisters had 4 kids in 4years with the "what will be, will be" approach. My oldest sister-in-law had 3 kids in 3 years with the same approach. (All of them married.)

We don't really have an option. My son is my 6th pregnancy, half of it was in my bed, 5wks of it was in a hospital bed. Any future pregnancies would require full bedrest and that's not something I was willing to do with my son, so we've taken measures to keep me from getting pregnant (assuming no miracles), because it would be irresponsible for me to take chances IMO.

We did not plan either of our two pregnancies... but we were only a little "surprised" by them.

I mean, it is no mystery that if you are not using "enough" protection, there is a likelihood that you may get pregnant. Our first daughter was conceived when we were using condoms only, and so was our second. I wasn't "NOT" wanting more kids though, we both planned to have more "sometime".

The first time around I really did want to have a baby. (i did this time too, but I wasn't having "baby fever" so much this time.

However, we knew that using condoms alone account for a lot of "accidental" pregnancies... and we took the risk with that knowledge in mind. We knew we could have another baby and be happy... but we were not "TRYING" to get pregnant. So in that way we are a little "what will be, will be..."

In my opinion, if you are having sex, and are even possibly fertile- you can get pregnant. If you are 100% sure that you don't want to get pregnant, don't have sex. I have known people who conceived on pills, using condoms, diaphragms and even people who were told they were "incapable of conceiving naturally".

At 2 kids we think we'll probably be plenty busy for a while, so I am planning on getting "Mirena." If I get pregnant on THAT then the universe must REALLY want me to have more kids- hahaha! I would rather have the minimal risk of having another baby with an IUD, than get a tubal ligation and virtually end the chance of having a baby again permanently... but I think I will be happy with two, and I won't "regret" if I don't have more than that.

Anyways, I was surprised when I found out I was pregnant with baby #2. Not "how in the world" surprised... but it wasn't something we were trying for necessarily, so I thought "Oh wow, this is real, I am really having another baby!" If you enter a raffle for a new car at the mall, you will probably still be "surprised" if you win, but you won't be confused about HOW it happened! hehehe!

What really blows my mind is when you hear about women who "didn't know they were pregnant" until a baby falls out of them! What on earth??? hahaha!

-M.

I was on birth control when my first daughter was conceived. Surprise! I then got pregnant while having an IUD and had a miscarriage. After I had that removed, we decided to let what will be, be. We had another daughter. I got a tubal ligation. We knew we wanted two biological children and then if we are in a position to do so we will adopt. If I become pregnant now it will be a surprise and I will seriously request that my uterus be removed (pretty sure they wouldn't do it, though) post pregnancy.

I know several women who just let nature take its course. They have O. thing in common besides having a lot of children (O. woman is on baby number 5, O. is on baby number 9, O. is on baby number 6) and that is their religion. They believe babies are a blessing from God and that they are not allowed to use birth control. That's fine. But two of these women live in 2 bedroom trailers and cannot afford to care for or feed their children...therein lies the problem as I see it.

I am pro family planning. I think serious thought should be given prior to creating life.

Right now we are planning and since it is close to my Mirena being taken out we are adding condoms to our control plan until we officially decide what we are doing next. We are def NOT ready to take on another baby right now but it is not out of the question in a few years from now.

P.s. with the abstenance programs going on and lack of PROPER sex education and BODY function education ... YES, it is a surprise to many young adults in this world ... sad wouldn't you say. Ok, this was an add not everyone will agree but it is truth as far as I see it.

Great question! My first 2 pregnancies were surprises... I was on birth control but found out I'm allergic, hence 2 pregnancies (stopped having sex after THAT!!)... my 3rd was the only O. 'planned', and it was SO much nicer KNOWING we were trying and then actually conceiving. Even though we were trying so there was no guesswork to be done, it was still awesome, anticipating that positive pregnancy test, and knowing that this was a decision we both made. I still hated being pregnant (no really, sorry if that offends anyone, pregnancy + R. = no bueno) but making it a concience decision and then having it happen was WAY better than the first 2 times!!

There are a lot of people who think BC is dangerous for our bodies because of all the synthetic hormones. I know for me, I used bc until after my husbands vasectomy, I would rather risk the hormones than anther child!

i planned but my kids are 19 yrs and 3 wks apart. so planning doesn't always work. :) oops does happen. what will be will be. I was trying to prevent it too :) your boy is 8 right so you have 11 yrs for your oops to show up :)

No way on this earth would I ever play a game like this. I have 2 and I'm done. We got the hubs snipped because neither of us are interested in having more.

But yes, there are soooooo many people who just can't understand how they got pregnant despite the fact that they were having unprotected sex or risky sex. Surprising but true. There are also people who have a complete and utter lack of knowledge about how conception and contraception works. Case in point: my husband's cousin. She is pregnant but had zero intention of getting pregnant. She got pregnant the very month she switched to a new birth control pill. It never occurred to her that she needed to wait a month and use a backup method for the first month of taking the new pills because the new pills might not be effective.

And that makes me /facepalm.

Anytime you have unprotected sex (barring a vasectomy or tubal ligation) there is a chance you can get pregnant. Period! Don't want a baby? Don't have sex or use multiple methods of contraception (like pill + condom with spermicide, etc.). Abstinence is 100% effective and there are many MANY ways a couple can share physical intimacy without having vaginal intercourse...but don't be mistaken; I firmly believe that people would make better, more informed choices if they received comprehensive sexuality education as opposed to "If you do it, you're a bad sinner and your only choice is to wait until you're married."

This is such a sore subject with me! I don't believe anyone can say it was a "surprise" pregnancy. If you are having sex...YOU CAN GET PREGNANT!!! HELLO!!!! Oh, the pill didn't work, oh the condom broke, oh...blah blah blah. I just do not believe it. No O. will convince me otherwise! :o)

I don't play roulette, I try to prevent. But, I was on birth control and took the morning after pill and I'm still currently watching my beautiful three month old sleep. So I did try to stop any pregnancy from happening. Yes, it is possible even if you are doing everything in your power to prevent it. As another person posted, if your having sex, it is a risk you run every time.

My first O. was planned but after not conceiving the first month we decided lets wait a little bit and boom next month we were pregnant but still very happy. Im now pregnant with our 2nd O. and this O. was def. planned again. My children will be exactly 3 years apart and i def. took measures to make sure i wouldnt conceive again until we was ready and after this O. it will probably be another 3 years before we have another O. if we want another O.. Its not hard to prevent getting pregnant.

Our first was a surprise. She was a welcome O., but a surprise nonetheless. Some women can't take birth control, are allergic to latex, and whatever else that means they can't use birth control.

I, however, got pregnant on the pill without having missed any AND taking it at the same time everyday, no antibiotics, nothing.

So... it happens. It's surprising, but there you go. Our bodies, much as we try to understand them, are not an exact science.

Of course, some women just don't bother either. LOL

With my oldest I got pregnant while on birth control, but I was also on constant antibiotics for acne. Back then we didn't know antibiotics could decrease bc efficacy. 2nd baby was a woopsie. I wasn't on bc, wasn't seeing anyone or sexually active at all. Then my exboyfriend came to town for the weekend and we had a hot reunion....woopsie. 3rd O. I got pregnant while breastfeeding. I guess I was dumb to think i wouldn't. So, yes, even in 2011, people do have woopsie babies.

.

I've been on the pill my whole adult life, except for the time I wanted to have a baby and then for a time after the baby since my husband at the time had a V. As soon as I was divorced I was back on the pill. I don't think it is being a "control freak" to take control of your fertility, I think it is a responsibility.

Of course, there are some who get pregnant while responsibly using BC. It does fail, at varying levels depending on the type. I have a niece who has three lovely children. The first was conceived after she'd been on the depo shot for 1.5 years and had a O.-night-stand with a "friend". They got married when the baby was O. year old. The second she was on the pill AND her now husband used condoms, the third happened after her husband had a V, but apparently they didn't wait long enough. They love their family, but struggled some with the unplanned nature of all three pregnancies.

I don't understand either, those who don't take control. It's just not how I am.

I got the paragard put in november because it was stressing our sex life. Im very fertile and was tired of worrying. Should of started today...better not be the O. it fails on! So don't want n e more!

Well I have 2 kiddos back to back and both were shocks.
I have PCOS and I was told getting pregnant would be very hard for us!
I was on the pill for years, but only to help regulate my cycles due to the PCOS. Once my hubby and I got married my doc told me to get off the pill for a year and see whay my cycle does and then she would put me on Clomid.Well 4 months after the wedding I was prego! We were happy, but it was a total shock. I had been told since I was in my teens having a baby would be hard!

The docs really did say they didn't expect it to happen and thought it was a fluke. So then of course my husband I didn't think #2 would come along so easily.
I was breast feeding the baby, we were using protection, just to be safe and I had yet to get my cycle back.
Well sure enough when my daughter was 6 months old I started to feel odd and I sure enough I was pregnant. That was an even bigger shock!
So yes we were shocked, but in great ways.

HOWEVER we clearly think the docs were a bit wrong about how my PCOS would effect me, so my husband got fixed when #2 was only a few months old. We are blessed enough!
Now if I get prego again- well all I can say is SHOCK lol

Define "surprise", lol.
I've had several pregnancies that I refer to as "surprises", but I certainly know how all that stuff works. ;-) They didn't involve consistent carelessness though.
I've also conceived with an IUD. Now THAT was a genuine surprise!!!

Adding: We always talked about maybe having more "O. day", so our 18 year commitments were actually just shifted a bit, finishing us up earlier! Dh is scheduling the V now. A "surprise" after that would be very, very difficult to cope with.

I personally can't take birth control pills. Several different pills/patches caused significant health complications for me. So yes, both of my pregnancies were "unplanned pregnancies" - condoms are not 100% effective. I am currently pregnant with our second child, and my husband and I don't want any more children. Hubby has a vasectomy scheduled for this upcoming summer. If we were to get pregnant following that procedure (although definitely not planned) we would consider it a blessing. You can't always "plan" life - cut some people some slack...

As much as I wanted a 3rd child, my littlest DD was a surprise.. I used the rythym method & somehow got pregnant while on my period. (Still find that hard to believe, but ok... she's here!) I have wanted a 3rd baby for many years, but was waiting until things were more settled in my life... Im glad I had her when I did, at 35, that was my limit for when to have a baby, I didnt want to be older, plus I didnt want to have a baby if O. of my girls had a child, then I'd be a pregnant Granny! LOL I was a Granny before DD was 11 months, as it happened. Now, no sex without a condom, not ever & DH is getting his vasectomy. I know there will be NO SLIP UPS!!! Im done! I couldnt say that before, but now for sure, im certain 100 %. I think the world population would be MUCH much smaller if it werent for all the "accidents".

Yes, I think there is a much larger number of people that are just uneducated to the point that it's shocking to other's. With that being said, I was on birth control for years. Eventually I said ok, enough, and hubs got snipped. Theoretically that means we would never have another child, but could I still possibly wind up pregnant? Of course. If I did would I be surprised? You betcha.

We were surprised by our second 2, but ALSO open to them. As in, we were using the pull out method (sorry TMI), my husband was barely ever HOME, and our rare encounters seemed to be NOT during ovulation, but BANG! When we were pregnant with #2, we started joking that having a baby makes you more fertile, because we had a hard time conceiving #1. Number 3 was even more of a mystery and I remember looking at the calendar a million times at my cycles and his "visits home" and wondering how it was even possible. BUT, voila. Again, we were OK with having them when it happened.
IF WE REALLY didn't want anymore, then obviously I would have had the hormone free IUD (I don't react well to pills) and called it a day. What could be easier?

I am a planner.
I do, however, know some who do have the "what will be will be" attitude. Mostly, they view their marriage and procreation (or not) as something not in their hands, it is in God's, and so they don't spend time trying to circumvent God. Then there are those who SAY that is their reason, but then actually DO use some "method" (rhythm method?) to try to exercise some degree of control. Which seems hypocritical to me.

For me, I'm not going to be hypocritical about it. I suppose I could nitpick it to death and do the whole religious argument and end up coming down with the Pope that birth control is sinful. But, I feel like God made us responsible beings, so I am using the faculties he gave me to plan how to provide/care for our family, and that includes how many people we plan to have in that family. Obviously, if we were blessed with more children than WE planned for, then we would have them and love them and provide for them also. It ISN'T in my control to determine whether we will have more or not. - no matter how you look at it. We could try try try and not get pregnant again. Or even using every known method of b/c (barring a hysterectomy) could still end up pregnant. So, I plan using my God given intelligence, and leave the rest to God.

:)

I think what surprises me is that when women don't want to get pregnant they don't take precautions with birth control. Even if you don't believe in using birth control devices or medications for religious reasons, there's still charting and temping with Natural Family Planning to avoid fertile days.

I've been surprised twice with pregnancy with a failed BC pill (took antibiotics that weren't supposed to interact but they did) so I know that even with using birth control properly it can still fail. I'm not ever really surprised by surprise pregnancies. They happen all the time. ::shrugs::

I am a what will be will be kinda person...our twins were a surprise. My husband has battled cancer 3 times and has had many treatments that could have left him sterile. We choose not to use any form of birthcontrol after we were married. We figured if we were meant to have kids we would. It tool allmost 5 years but i ended up pregnant and now we have 8month twins! Now we are being "carefull" and im on the pill.. we arent quite ready for another baby

We use pull and pray because I can't take anything with hormones. I have tried three different kinds of the pill and Mirena and they were all awful...weight gain, loss of sex drive, acne, oily hair, etc. The plan is that my husband will eventually get a "V", but it is expensive (he is self-employed and we have crappy individual insurance) and he is very busy with work. Quite honestly, we are sort of being lazy about it. Both he and I are fully aware that I could get pregnant at any time, and obviously, we would be okay with that. So, we're not actively "trying" to get pregnant, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't pretend that it was some big accident or surprise. I know where babies come from and I know how to prevent it. I know birth control fails (rarely), but I think there are very few 100% "unplanned" pregnancies. So, I guess we do play "roulette". We are content with the kids that we have, but should we get pregnant again, that would be okay too.

While I always planned - used BC, our first was a surprise becuase we had been using a barrier method but it failed. Plus the month I conceived I was traveling quite a lot for business and my husband and I were very surprised since we didn't really have too many encounters that month! WE did try for our second - and it took a few months - then I had my tubes tied since baby # 2 was a c-section, I was 40 and knew I'd have to keep working to afford live in this part of the country.

That being said, I have a few friends who practice only the rythm method - O. is a staunch catholic (and has only two kids) the other is a pastor & his wife - they have 6 kids and wouldn't change a thing. Not that they have any objection to BC - but they feel that children are a gift from God and when God thinks their family is complete the babies will stop. Their oldest is in college and the youngest is 8. She homeschools them and they are the smartest, nicest, most well-rounded polite kids you'd ever want to know.

So I guess that while, yes it is the 21st century - some people just like to do things the old fashioned way. ;o) There are still lots of pregnant people who don't want to know their baby's gender either! Go figure!

I actually know a mom who was single, dating, and on the pill, which she took religiously. Well, O. time the condom broke, and she thought, oh well, I'm also on the pill, and never thought about it again. A few months later she was at the doctor's office for her yearly physical and found out she was 4 months pregnant! She was still taking the pill, of course, and hadn't had her period in ages because of that. She had not experienced any morning sickness or weight gain or any of the other usual symptoms - she was totally shocked to find out she was pregnant. When she thought about it, she remembered the broken condom. But yeah, even with 2 usually very reliable methods of bc, she had a "surprise" pregnancy. She had the baby and is raising him herself as a single mom. The dad is not in the picture at all. Talk about life changing!

My pregnancy was a "halfway" surprise. I have PCOS and knew that I would issues conceiving- if I would at all. As a personal choice, I did not want to take fertility drugs (not judging anyone who does) or spend the money to do other treatments. My first issue was weight, so I lost 30 pounds. My cycles started to regulate a little around November, but were still pretty irregular. I wasn't on birth control because I was trying to get things back to "normal" on their own and it makes me feel horrible. At the end of January, I started to notice pregnancy symptoms, and thought....well, I could be. So, I toook a pregnancy test. Both I and my husband were very shocked and suprised that it happened so fast! That being said, we are going to be a O. child household (once again, a personal choice) and my dear husband is getting snipped after this O.!

to answer the title question "are there people who get pregnant and its a suprise to them?" YES. when I became pregant with my son I had a very active eating disorder. I was not eating anything that I didnt throw up. I hadnt had my period in months and even if i had been having my period i shouldnt have been ovulating at the time I got pregnant (if you follow my normal cycle of when i should have been having my period) and I was so malnourished that I should have had a miscarriage before I even knew I was pregnant. but instead I gained 10 pds in 6wks and I wasnt even really eating! so yes my son was definatly a suprise and something we werent planning for. my mom calls him our "bonus baby"

We play this type of roulette :)

We love children. I think b/c our 2nd child was a COMPLETE shock we have learned that we can deal with whatever is given to us. But, that doesn't mean we are using no protection we just are not taking every precautionary out there to prevent it.

My husband and I have three kids. Each of them was a "what will be, will be" kid, and each of them is such a blessing!

We are open to having more but not trying to have more, if that makes sense. So yes... we play that kind of roulette. But we do so knowing (at least somewhat) what we are getting ourselves into.