My daughter just turned 2 in December so she obviously doesnt totally get what we are saying when we talk about her soon to arrive baby sister but she is definitely advanced for her age and I think she gets more than we know. We have been talking to her about the baby in Mamas tummy since we found out and she always refers to my belly as baby _____! I cant tell if its coincedence that her behavior has become more demanding and out of sorts recently because she is just at that age or if its because she really and truly can tell that things are about to change in a big way around here. I already feel so guilty for the fact that I have less patience these days and I am physically spent so I dont have as much energy to do the things that I normally do with her and now I am faced with this attitude change and Im not sure what to do with it. Has anyone else dealt with a toddler that has had a similar demeanor just before another baby was to arrive? Im going on 39 weeks and I am just spent physically, mentally, and emotionally
Thanks in advance
Sounds like typical 2 year old behavior, as well as typical 'I'm not an only child anymore' behavior ;)
Keep mentally preparing her, get her excited, make her your big helper, and keep her involved... everything will work itself out :)
Try to rest while you can mama! You're going to be a mommy of TWO in about a week!! Congrats :)
First of all she's 2 - so expect her behavior to be contrary and needy and all the things that go along with being 2. She's entering new developmental stages all the time and she's trying to figure out how her world works. Our daycare teacher told us to remember "she's only been on the planet for 2 years...!"
And yes - she's beginning to sense the change in the air - kids don't really undersatnd stuff but they are intuitive. She knows you're tired, she knows that everyone is asking about the baby, and she knows what you've told her. But until baby comes she raelly won't grasp the reality. PLEASE don't every leave a toddler with her infant sibling. Their feelings of jealousy can overpower any other feeling and they can harm their little sister/brother. Remember - she doesn't understand cause & effect and permanence and all the other stuff - she's only been on the planet for 2 years. ;o)
There are a lot of good books in the library that you and she can read together. Once baby arrives her little world will be turned upside down - try to take in all thehelp you can from others - try to hand off baby so you and your 2 yr old can spend some 1:1 time together.
We all survived younger siblings (well many of us did) and lived to tell the story. At 2 she'll have no memory of being the only child and she will learn to adore her baby. But there will be a time of adjustment for her - and you will get more tired once baby arrives. BUT it's such a wonderful time. My kids are 12 & 15 and I have such fond memories of those wonderous young days. PRecious times. (Keep the camera ready all the time!)
A few helpful things that worked for us: BE SURE to get some help from your husband and from family/friend to babysit your new baby, so you can have one-on-one time with your daughter. Try to do this for a 1/2 hour every day, and for an afternoon or morning 1x a week. It doesn't have to be some amazing adventurous activity, it's just important for you to focus your attention on your daughter during that time. Talk to her, do puzzles together, snuggle together, etc. We really struggled with regression with our 3.5 year old when his baby sister arrived- Potty training regression, behaviour issues, etc. The one on one time was REALLY effective in stopping those problems.
Also, I had heard that having the baby bring a "big sister gift" upon arrival makes younger kids feel especially involved and loved by the baby. You may want to get a secret stash of big sister gifts, so she doesn't feel left out when you have visitors ooohing and aaahing and showering your baby with attention. Also, if she's up to the task, have her involved with giving the baby a bottle, or helping to get the baby a rattle, a blanket, etc. She'll feel included, and excited about her new big sister role.
Just wanted to say that I'm going through the same thing, for the second time. I went through it with my son, when I was pregnant with my daughter. Now my daughter is acting up and driving me nuts, and I am overdue with baby #3. I think some of the behavior is normal for a 2 year old, some of it is definitely due to all the changes coming. She cries more and is clingy--never used to be. She is talking back, and gets upset because I'm not allowed to pick her up. Just be assured that it will get better. Your daughter will probably be anxious to be mommy's helper, so try to tap into that (even if it's more work initially). A couple tricks I tried with my son...sounds silly, but a lot of the time, my son crying for something (he got hurt, didn't get his way, whatever) conincided with the baby crying. I would pretend that the baby was crying because she was concerned about her brother. I'd say something like, "Oh yes, you're crying because Liam fell and hurt his knee. You don't like it when your big brother gets hurt, but he'll be okay!" And I'd quickly attend to my son. Also, I'd make it a point sometimes to make baby wait just a minute, when both needed something. And I'd say, "Sorry, baby, but Liam really needs me tp get him a drink, and THEN I'll come and put you in the swing." I feel like doing these things made my son less jealous. Also, we had the baby "give" him a present when she was born. He's now 5, and still talks about the candy and doctor's kit his baby gave him when she was born! Good luck to you, and congrats. You sound like me--we are just overdone, exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally, and ready for the baby to come so we can move forward!
lol...yes she's two so these attitudes are typical anyway. and yes she knows whats going on, kids do somehow, and it's not because she's so stinking advanced for her age - although i am sure she is. you really just have to buckle down and stay consistent with discipline. don't change what you're doing. you'll be more tired, then you'll be distracted because of the baby - she's going to seem worse because she's falling through the cracks a bit. stay on top of it and she'll be okay. good luck!
Yay! You're almost there :-) Congrats on the soon to be new addition!!!
Yes I'm sure she senses things. It'll pass....my 2 girls were very needy of me, and ALL OVER their new baby brother for the first 6 months (sorry it really was that long! LOL!
Get all the help and support you can, it'll be ok.
I feel like you do, but I'm only 20 weeks so this scares me :/
Perhaps she can sense the excitement/anticipation/stress in the house. The best thing to do right now is to cut her some slack. If she acts up, be nonchalant about it. Give her extra hugs, cuddles and kisses. You need some downtime right now to rest before the baby comes. Sit her down in front of the tube with some Barney or Elmo and put your feet up!
One bout of "less patient" tempered by 200 hugs, kisses and smiles=everything's going to be fine!
I think you just answered your own question. You say you do not have the
energy to do the things with her you usually do. She senses the change in
your moods. She wants Mommy the way she was. Therefore is acting out.
Baby does not have anything to do with it. Well in a round about way it does.because you are not yourself because of baby. A 2 year old does not
realize what a new baby will be like. Not sophisticated enough yet.
