A.L.
There ARE a lot of military families where the woman stays home - because childcare is really, really expensive. There are military families on food stamps, too. Yes, a lot of those moms really do want to stay home, and even enjoy it, but for at least some, it's a financial consideration.
I tried to go back to work, part time, after the kids were born. I had the option of working a 7 pm to 1 am shift, which theoretically should have worked, since my husband got off work at 6. But he also left for work at 7. We were both exhausted, and therefore not very good parents, I'm afraid. I could have worked full time, but even if I had gotten the promotion that was being talked about, after paying for daycare I would almost have had enough left over to pay for my gas to get to work. I still miss my job. But - for us, anyway - it just wasn't worth it anymore. Though we probably could have lived on just my full-time salary, with DH as a stay-at-home, the first time something came up - a car repair for example - we would have been in real trouble, and we wouldn't have been nearly as comfortable as we are.
So, I guess my point is, are you just looking at this emotionally - because, yes, it is very hard to give up a job that you love and are good at - I know, I was there - or are you also looking at this practically? Interview daycares, find out what they charge, get some numbers. Where you are now - what kind of salary will you be bringing in? Sit him down with the numbers. He might be much more receptive to compromise, if you can try to separate the emotion from the issue.