Overseas Military Adoption Centers

You should be on some type of birth control if you are so concerned with having an unwanted pregnancy. There are ways to prevent an unwated pregnancy, take that step and keep it from happening.

A., I work with the new parent support program and can point you in the right direction of things if you would like some help. My number is ###-###-####. If you are not already pregnant though, I would recommend staying abstinent if not married, or if you do engage in sexual activities, to use several forms of birth control- pill or shot as well as condoms with spermicide to prevent pregnancy as well as to prevent the many sexually transmitted diseases that the military is know for as well. Please contact me for more information.
Thanks-L.- New Parent Support Nurse

The number of military families who want to adopt are huge. I know my own husband and I have spoken of it ourselves. I would strongly suggest that if you do get pregnant the place to go would be to one of your base chaplains. They would have the resources to talk to you about your options and can continue to support you throughout the experience. Your family skills center may also be able to guide you in the choices that are open to you. A third option is having a direct adoption. This is when you know who you want to adopt your child and the legal paperwork is completed between the two parties involved without going through an adoption agency. God bless you, your child, and the adopting family if you are already on this journey, pregnant and working through the issue now.

I read about your concerns and immediately thought of this website: www.itsaboutlove.org While I am not certain that they work with overseas military members, we have had a few of our close friends (one of them military)use this adoption agency. I hope that it is helpful for you. There are so many families who long for children, but struggle with fertility issues (me included). They are praying for a baby to love and care for. While it is difficult to be pregant, I know that one of the greatest acts of love is to have the baby and then place it in the arms of parents who will cherish him or her and care for the baby as if he or she was their own.

A.,
Whatever your current situation may be... I wanted to let you know that no matter what you plan to have happen, there may be something or someone that comes along to change it.

My mom wasn't planning to be a single parent when my father past away of a heart attack when I was very young. She and I made it through. I wouldn't have it any other way. It made us both stronger. I'm not going to say it wasn't hard. There were many challenges along the way.

I have been able to turn the tests into testimony.
While I was in college, I made the mistake a couple times, trying to find what I thought was love, only to get hurt in the process; emotionally and financially. Then I decided to leave it all behind and join the AF. Within 1 year of my enlistment, I met my husband. Within 3 months we were expecting our first addition to our family. We had lots of debt coming into our marriage but we worked through it. 3 years after our first child was born, we welcomed our 2nd child. There had been good times and there have been trying times.

the most important part,... I would do it all over again because I know that eventually I would have love, happiness and know the wonderful joy of being a mom. I wouldn't give up the pain, frustration, etc. Children are a reflection of their parents and their environment. You know best what you want for your future child. Why give your child up for someone else to raise? Please I urge you, do not give up the opportunity to be a better parent than may have been an example for you.

No matter what happens, please understand... things will change no matter what and your life will go on. God has a plan for you, laid out from before you even came into the world. Only you can choose to learn from your mistakes and change things or repeat them.

There are many people that will be praying for you.

I pray that God will provide you with someone to give you support and guidance along your journey.

If you need assistance, seek out Family Advocacy on the base. They may be able to help provide you more info.

Don't give up on yourself. You've made it this far to make some correct choices by coming into the military and having a steady pay check. That's a step in a positive direction.

I'm a little confused. You are not currently pregnant? I'm thinking there are a lot of easier solutions to this "problem" than looking into adoption. Are you on birth control? If not, it's as easy as going into the clinic and getting a prescription for pills or getting an IUD. Lots of other options too. For some reason I have a feeling there's more going on here. Seems a little extreme for a hypothetical.

Its very admirable to want to give your child a stable home with someone who will love them. However the father of the child also must be willing to sign away his rights to the child in an adoption process. It won't be solely up to you. Also, it will be very, very hard to carry a baby for 9 months and then hand them over to someone else and never see them again. You will feel an attachment to that baby that you will not expect and it won't be that easy to give them up.
I had an unplanned pregnancy and was not happy about the thought of being a mother when I thought I wasn't ready. I wasn't planning on being a mother and I had a great career going in the Air Force. But after I met my daughter, I wouldn't change it for anything. I had no idea how much love I could feel for someone till I laid eyes on her. It hasn't been easy, and I still miss my career, but I would never change where my life is right now. I married the father of my daughter, and that was something that made the situation easier.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that if you aren't already pregnant and it happens, know the father must be on board with the baby being put up for adoption, and try to prepare yourself for how hard it will be to say goodbye to someone who was a part of you for so long.
If you aren't pregnant, be careful and get on a birth control, and always use a condom to protect against unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
Good luck!

Congratulations on thinking through these issues before you would become pregnant. I am happy that you recognize the value of life and would not have an abortion. It certainly isn't a "solution" to an unplanned pregnancy. I do not know of any agency but I'm sure there are resources available. If you'd like to have me explore that for you, I would be happy to do so. I too think there is something special about military families and would want my children raised in a military family.
Again, it is mature to think of these issues now. You really should take precautions and prevent any unplanned pregnancy. Best of luck to you. Take care and keep yourself safe.

Inform your Command. Talk with JAG.

A.,

first of all I want to tell you that I started to be sexually active at age 15 but I had my first child and planned child at 30. What do I want to tell you with that? You can do something to prevent an unwanted pregnancy and still have sex. Abstinence is great for those who want it. (Though I would take the advice from the other response--if I were you--and use condoms in addition to your own method of birth control to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted disease.)

If you are already pregnant what some readers suspected then you will have to figure out if you want to keep the child or give it up for adoption and that is only a decision you can make. I disagree with the one response that the father has a say so. If he doesn't know that he is the father and you would put "father unknown" in that spot of the birth certificate who could ask his permission??

I want to point out one thing that nobody hit on yet: You have to think also (besides how you will handle the decision in the long run--no matter which way you go you will live with a consequence)about the life of the child. Have you thought what a child would feel about an adoption: ranging from my parents didn't love me so they gave me up, to who are even my birth parents and probably 1000 more questions that I would never know to answer because I have been in neither situation.

We are in family therapy and I never really realized what a big part parents have on a child's life, no matter what the situation is. We either "create" a person with lots of problems or we manage to bring up a happy person that is able to live a happy life through the stuff we taught them. Or we screw them up and lives that are connected to that person. My in-laws mentally abused my husband and still do it to his age of 38. Not only he was affected by that but also me his wife and his 2 children but also other people were affected by his strange ways of reacting to other people. And no matter what you decide for your own life you will also affect lots of other people's lives if you bring this innocent being into this earth and the 2nd biggest affect you will have upon that child.

So please think about what I just wrote to you. And honestly a year ago my answer would have been different but now that we are as a family in councling I see what a big responsibility we have as parents.

Good luck!

Sorry this response is so late!! I really was touched by your request and wanted to be able to give you some solid advice. From reading your letter I got the idea that you didn't know at that point if you were or were not actually pregnant. Sort of like... this could be it... just waiting to find out. But certainly if you are pregnant now it wasn't your intention.

As I read in many of the previous posts... I'm sure this will cement in your mind the importance of protection. Not only birth control if you're sexually active, but a condom for your own protection. STD's are a crazy scary thing that you certainly want to avoid!! Not to mention the possibility of an unexpected pregnancy. ;) There isn't any form of birth control (well excpet abstinence) that is 100% safe. It's just so much easier to double up!!

Ok... off my soap box now. At this point I'm betting that you have had the chance to realize whether you are or are not pregnant. If you are congratulations! Being pregnant is really a miracle. Just ask someone who has tried and lost and you'll realize really how special it is to be able to carry another life inside of you. It's really an amazing feeling (well besides the morning sickness part. :P)

I actually spoke to the family support center at RAFL last week and asked what someone would do in your situation. They really were at a loss. They called family advocacy too and neither really were able to offer any advice. Although they did say they would do some more research if I wanted them to. Well... it struck me as pretty sad that there were so few folks that would go this way. I'm sure that there must have been more than just one unplanned pregnancy here at RAFL over the years. Hmmm... well I wont dwell on that one.

If you are indeed pregnant and want to give up your child for adoption I applaud you for ultimately looking out for the future of your child. I know in a perfect world you would like to keep your child but if you know that's not something possible I'm just glad you're thinking about finding someone who can do that job and ultimately give your child the chance at life. :)

It was suggested to me that contacting a stateside adoption agency would probably be the best way to go. Well... if you really want to insure your baby goes to an American family. Also talking to base legal probably would be helpful too!

I really wish I had some more usefull info to pass on to you. :( I know there are so many families out there that want to be able to adopt... especailly a little baby! I'm sure finding a family would be the easy part. Best of luck to you!

Blessings,
Janice