17, Pregnant, & Need Advice

You can call the Alexandria pregnancy help center. It's confidential. And they will help you 703-780- 4700
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M.:

WELCOME TO MAMAPEDIA!!!

No one can make this decision for you. You need to talk to the baby's father and see what he wants to do as well.

You have done well to get the assistance you need. If you do not feel you will be able to care for this child fully - then PLEASE look into adoption! There are SOOO many family's out there that would LOVE to be able to adopt a baby and love him or her.

Please don't assume that your parents or grandparents will kick you out. While you made some irresponsible decisions (unprotected sex), you are trying to make the right choices now.

For me? If you want to know what I would do? I would tell my parents and get their support. I would then look into adoption....because I would want to not only finish high school but college too. yes. people can do it. most times at 17, the girl has stars in her eyes....she thinks that a baby will love her unconditionally...until she hasn't had sleep for 2 weeks because the baby has colic....and she thinks that her boy friend is going to love her and protect her (and many of them leave)....she thinks the baby will be everything she's ever wanted until her friends are going out to prom and she needs to find a baby sitter and can't....or the baby has just thrown up all over her....and she can't shower yet because there is no one else to take care of the baby....

I was 21 when I had my daughter. I was in college and had just finished to months before she was born. My (then) husband was in the military...I was fortunate to the have the support of my family. It wasn't easy...she had her days and nights confused...my parents couldn't be there for me to sleep all the time...and I worked...yeah...what fun. I couldn't go out with friends because my husband works mid-shifts...I was 21 and couldn't do what I wanted to...when you become a parent - YOUR NEEDS are NO LONGER first....your child needs you and his or her needs outweigh yours.

At this point, you don't make enough to live on your own. What can you expect? Do you want welfare and food stamps? Is that what you want for you and your child?

You are not alone. I don't live far from you. Please talk to an adoption agency. DO NOT feel pressured into ANY decision or signing papers. It's not going to be an easy decision. Feel free to PM me if you want someone there with you.

If you have decided that you do not want to abort, then I think adoption is the only reasonable course of action for you at this point in your life. Although you *could* raise the baby yourself, as you have pointed out, your career is not in place, you are still in school, you don't have a great support system in place, and it will absolutely shock you to learn how expensive it is to raise a baby. The cost of childcare alone is unbelievable. That being said, your local Planned Parenthood can advise you on good adoption resources (believe it or not, abortion is only a tiny percentage of what they do, and they are kind, caring medical professionals :). They can also direct you toward resources to help you have a healthy pregnancy, and give you support on how to tell your family about this.

Best of luck to you!

Since you are putting it all out there for us:

If I had been in your situation at your age, I would have chosen adoption as the most healthy option for my baby.

From everything you suggested, the transition during pregnancy is going to be huge for you and your family. It's important to talk with family, and if you have the sort of family which is unapproachable (and this is the reality in some families) please talk to an adoption counselor. At forty-two, with a husband and a roof over my head, parenting is still very hard work. Even with these supports, it takes a lot of work to run a household and be everything to a little tiny person.

I personally was adopted by my mother's second husband. This was a good experience for me. I also have a sister who, when faced with having a second baby as a single mother, decided to let another couple adopt the child. This has been a very good situation for everyone involved.

Adoption is a very, very selfless act. Done well, it can give your child a loving home with parents who are ready and very much want a child. Being a wanted child is so important. I hope you have good counsel, whatever you choose.

First off welcome to Mamapedia!

Second I agree with Dad on a Purpose, Tell your family. They may be more open then you think.

Third weigh your options. I know it is hard at your age. Could you provide the life this baby is going to need. Kids are expensive! Do you have much saved for diapers and other needs?

Adoption is a great thing. If you are wanting to have a relationship with the baby still there is always open adoption.

STAY IN SCHOOL. You can do it. I did at 17. This is a hard decision and if you need someone to talk to about it PM me I have gone through the same thing.

Hope this helps-C.

Well, what's right for O. person, might not be right for another.

I agree with Dad on Purpose's thought that it might just be time to stand up and deal with this (and the repercussions) like an adult.

You're going to have to grow up fast, no matter your decision.

Why not visit Planned Parenthood and discuss ALL of your options?

Other 17 year old women have had babies, kept them, and worked their way through school, etc. You can too. IF you want that.

Others have given babies to families that desperately want a bay, but can't have them. You can too. IF you want that.

All the best with this situation and decision.

I'm so happy to hear your still graduating! That is great!

If you are unsure of if you want the baby then go and talk to an adoption agency. You don't have to make your decision right away. You still have plenty of time to make your choice! But then atleast you will know ALL of your options and how adoption works.

But let me tell you.. I was 18 when I got pregnant. I graduated at 5 months pregnant. I kept my baby, there was no other option for me personally. It had been a HARD road, Im not going to lie! It was hard but its not impossible. Yes for the first few years until he was 3, I was on medical asst for him. Im sure if I looked into it more I would have qualified for more but being young and not knowing, I didn't. I did get wic.

It was hard doing it on my own raising him ( his father has never been a part of his life) and going to work and paying all the bills.. then the sleepless nights and then him getting sick and still having to work. It wasn't easy by any means. But it worked itself out. I did do it. I was able to raise a great son who will be 16 this September.

None of us can tell you what you should do. We can tell you our stories and thoughts but it comes down to what is your heart on what is the best choice for you and your baby. what ever you do choose, it will be out of love and wont be easy either way.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

YAY for you!! Graduation is the best thing you can do for YOU right now.
Get some prenatal vitamins and take them. Eat lots of fruits and veggies. Drink milk if you can stomach it. I drank and still drink chocolate milk.

Go to Catholic Charities and talk to the counselors about adoption. I was in a group meeting with other teens who were pregnant and then I had my own counseling session. It will help you know there are others going through this right now. You are not alone.

Take care of yourself physically, that is what is best for the baby and you. Do not drink or do any drugs. Try to stay away from over the counter things too, cough syrup, hair dyes, perms, heavy chemicals.

Have a plan for yourself and the baby when you talk to your family. If you go in with the attitude of I know what I did, I will graduate, I will go to community college, I will get babysitting or give baby up for adoption, they might be more receptive and helpful.

I kept my baby. But remember giving a baby for adoption means you are fulfilling the lifelong dream of another family who cannot have children. My best friend in college was adopted, my daughter's best friend is adopted. They /were/are in the most loving homes, both the moms were teenage pregnancies.

Good luck to you and hang in there.

Hi M.,

I volunteer counsel at a pregnancy center near you in Bowie, MD and I would really encourage you to give us a call and set up an appointment to talk to a counselor. You are not that far being in District Hts (like 20 minutes away from Bowie). The number/website is ###-###-#### / www.pregnancyclinic.org and all of our services are free. We have morning and evening appts available, so hopefully you can find something that works for you.

The counselors there will help you go over your options and let you know more about the adoption process if that is something you are considering. We have one counselor who also offers a free class on "Considering adoption" which we would encourage you to take before actually contacting an adoption agency. She would be able to put you in touch with agencies that can help you formulate an adoption plan. You may also be able to get a free sonogram depending on your situation.

In any case, speaking to one of our counselors will help you formulate a plan whether you decide to carry/adopt and help you with that plan. We also have free baby/parenting classes where you can earn a baby layette (a bag full of baby items). If you need prenatal vitamins, we can also help you with those. Finally there are maternity homes in the area that also may have spaces available for you to live if it comes to that.

Again I really encourage you to call us. We're here to help you in any way we can.

Take care,
M.

I am very sorry that you are in this situation...but you do need to tell your family, because they may be more supportive than you think, and if you run into a medical emergency, at least they will be more prepared. It would not be cool for that to be the way they find out you are pregnant. You didn't say how far along you are, but my guess is that you are past the point where you could get an abortion, and at some point you will be showing and it will be obvious without you having to tell anyone.

You need to take an honest assessment of your life, and your ability to care for and provide for a child, and what this child's life might look like - not just a baby, but a child that you will need to raise for the next 18 years. Were you planning to go to college or to get any kind of education or job training beyond high school? What about the father? Does he know about the pregnancy? Does he have any interest in being a part of the baby's life? Do you have any idea of the sacrifices you will need to make if you decide to keep the baby? What kind of opportunities would you want for your child? Wouldn't you want your child to have the love of not only a mother and a father, but also grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc.? I have known girls who have gotten pregnant at 17 and have kept their babies and they've done well for themselves, but they also had the support of their families as well as the baby's father. Including my cousin, who got his girlfriend pregnant, and they ended up getting married. Almost 17 years later, they are still married. Government assistance can help with some basics, like housing and food, but it's not going to help with some of the other things that parents often want to provide for their children - things that may not be necessities, but help shape who they are and create happy memories and make their childhood worthwhile. Things like music lessons, summer camp, a trip to Disney World, a college savings fund.

I am sorry that you feel that your family will not be supportive and will kick you out, but I hope you are wrong. I know if my daughter became pregnant at 17, I would be angry, and I would be disappointed, that she didn't make better choices. But I would not kick her out and expect her to live on the streets and have nowhere to go.

If it's helpful, I would speak to one of your counselors at school and let them know what you are up against. I would also be strongly considering adoption and speaking with someone at an adoption agency if you feel your family will not give you the help and support that you are going to need. Good luck to you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation. This will probably be the hardest decision of your life. I'm thankful that abortion is no longer on the table. I'd definitely recommend looking into adoption, especially since it sounds like you have no support network. If you did keep the baby, you would need some sort of help just to pay the bills and life expenses. You don't need to make this decision today, but at the same time you don't want to wait too long. I think you should check out a credible adoption agency. I think Catholic Charities or Lutheran Social Services could help or point you in the right direction. After you've checked out adoption, tell your family. If someone steps up and says they're truly willing to help, then you've got something to think about. You need to decide what is physically possible but also look into your heart for the right decision. Best of luck dear.

Please check out www.itsaboutlove.org. They offer free counselling and help for young mothers in your situation. They also can give you adoption resources and education as well. They are very loving and welcoming. I know a few women who recieved help through them. Two adopted their babies out and one kept hers. All were equipped, confident, happy and at peace with their decisions.

So much to think about...I am glad you are graduating May 30! That is only a few weeks away. Finishing your high school diploma is important. I would talk to a counselor of some sort. Here is the number for the national pregnancy hotline (1-800-848-5683). Adoption is a wonderful option if you feel this is not the right time for you to have a child. And, adoption doesn't mean you don't care about your child. It means you care enough to know the child would be better off in another home. Best of Luck!

Welcome to Mamapedia! You certainly picked a pretty controversial topic for your first question.

There are many, many issues here. I suggest you talk to your family immediately. You're about to make a very adult decision - test one of an adult, standing up for yourself to other adults, including parents/family.

good luck!

IMO it's adoption. There are thousands and thousands of couples who would love to adopt your baby, they have stable incomes and homes, and will love and care for your child much better than you have the ability to at this time in your life. However, that's my opinion, but it may not be yours.

Yes, you should definitely look into adoption. You should have a full understanding of all the options that are available to you. You don't have to make the decision immediatly, but it is an option so look into it and find out all the details.

A few things to think about...
Before you ever knew that you were pregnant, what did you want to do with your life? What were your dreams? Did you want to go to college or additional schooling? Did you want to have a career? Did you want to travel? Did you want to have a dead end job, making $10 an hour for the next 10 years.

Now think about this...
Can you accomplish these goals and dreams while having a child to support? So the tax payers will provide medical and food for your child. What about everything else the child needs - clothing, diapers, blankets - and what about the extras like toys, who's going to pay for that? Do you have any idea how much things cost? Make a list of the items you'll need and do some research.

You say your family will kick you out. Where will you live? How will you pay for your housing? Who will watch the baby when you're working?

Where's the father of the child? What's his opinion? What does his family think? You'll need to make arrangements to receive child support from him.

best of luck to you. Seeing you missed two appts for abortion already, perhaps that is a sign- you are meant to have the baby and raise it with hopes that you will have support or give another family the gift of a child. I went through infertility for years, so I know how heart -wrentching it is so not be able to have a child. You can raise this baby alone, but it will be hard, but it is possible. A friend of mine was pregnant in high school and gave the baby up for adoption. It was an open adoption so she has continued to have contact once or twice a year with her "daughter" and she has a great relationship with the adoptive parents, who were able to provide her with so much more than my friend could at that age. Now, my friend is 40 and her daughter just graduated from college. It turned out so positive and was truly in the best interest of the child long term. Talk with an adoption specialist, seek counseling and get info on your options- pro's and con's of each option. Just the fact that you are writing on here and asking people our advice, shows significant maturity! You are not alone. You will make the best choice for you and your situation- good luck. :)

I think adoption is an amazingly selfless act. You would be giving someone, who couldn't otherwise, a chance to parent a child.

It might be a really helpful idea to call an adoption agency and see if you can set up an appointment to talk to a counselor. Someone there should be able to talk to you are really listen to what your thoughts and feelings are and help you really think about what you can do and what you want to do. It's a place to start. Right now you need someone who can help you look at all your options and really think about what is going to be the right decision for you.

Good luck!

Adoption sounds like a great option if you are not going to have an abortion. Your baby gets a family who wants him/her and is able to provide for him - food, clothing and college are expensive. And you have the opportunity to finish high school and hopefully set some real goals for yourself. Then someday when you are able to provide a solid home for a child and when (and if) you decide you are ready you can raise a child of your own. I would try really hard to think of what is best for the child (if you choose to have it) - not what is best for you.

You are very courageous to decide to give your baby life. Los Angeles Pregnancy Services could be a good place to start. Their phone # is ###-###-####. Their website is http://lapregnancyservices.org/Default.aspx

Please give them a call so that they can support you, give you information and help, and be there to support you. Their services are free.

This is the hardest thing you will probably ever have to do and I am so sorry you are in this situation. I had my first child when I was 32, married and financial stable and it can be so hard to adjust to being a mom but it is also the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.

Whatever decision you make be prepared to question yourself in the future. I don't think there are any absolutely clear paths here.

If you think adoption may be a choice, take the time to look into that option fully and understand all the various ways of putting your child up for adoption.

At the same time, try to look at how you may support yourself and the baby. Will the father offer any support? Talk to your family to understand what they may or may not be willing to do for you. Do you have any close friends you could stay with if your family kicked you out? Understand that your baby is their blood too and they may surprise you with their reaction or it may be just as you suspected.

You are the only one who can make this decision. Do not let anyone pressure you one way or the other. You will be the one that will have to live with this decision for the rest of your life so make sure it is one that you can accept.

Good luck

First thing that comes to mind - renting an apartment. You must be of the legal age to rent an apartment. As a single mother you would be eligible for assisted housing - but you must be 21 to rent. So, you must get emancipated - which means the court recognizes you as an adult. Having a baby is a valid reason for emancipation and the court will usually grant that.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emancipation_of_minors
http://www.ehow.com/how_###-###-####_emancipate-minor.html

Where is the baby's father? Does he know about the pregnancy? Doesn't matter if he wants the baby or not, he is legally obligated to help out financially if you keep the baby - assuming he is in a position to do so. Your local Human Services office can help with child support once the baby is born - in my state you are required to let them go after the absent parent for child support if you receive assistance.

You said you graduate from high school on May 30th - First - Congratulations!!!! Second - when is the baby due? I am assuming you are only in your first trimester so you should be able to easily graduate on time. I went to an all girls, Catholic high school about 30 years ago and even we had a girl walk the stage pregnant :)

About adoption - I think it is a wonderful gift. I have a friend who adopted a baby last year after years of waiting - it was a most joyous occasion. If you go that route consider if you want an open adoption or not. Find a good, reputable adoption counselor to help you. Your OB should be able to recommend some.

As for your family - I was 30 when I got pregnant. I was unmarried, but working and buying a home and I was terrified to tell my family. Some things don't change with age. While my grandmother was horrified at first, my father and stepmother were both very supportive. Family can surprise you. I threaten my almost 16 year son with imminent bodily harm if he ever gets a girl pregnant - but I know deep down that I would support him no matter what.

A lot of the other posts had great advice - please consider it all before you make a decision. Please do find someone that you can talk to - school counselor, best friend's mother, someone.

Sending prayers and hugs your way.

You have to ask yourself some really difficult questions. Try to find some counseling to talk this through with a professional. If you are not able to care for your child, please consider adoption. There are so many people out there who want a child so badly. I know 2 different couples who have adopted children and they absolutely adore them. There are all kinds of situations available - you don't have to give up all communication if you don't want to. PLEASE give this some serious thought - consider your future as well as your childs.

In our area there are a lot of resources. Call community crisis services in PG county añd they can give u tons of resources. Inbox me if u want and I can give u some in S. MD where I used to work with young adults ur age. Catholic Charities off the top of my head is awesome for free classes and baby items and advice. Now with that being said I had my 18 yo at ur age and I will tell u although she has had a good life ive sacrificed ALOT to get where I am cause I had nobody to help and nowhere to go for help. I did not get MA but got WIC juggled work, school and my DD. If I had to go back I would have asked for more help. Adoption is hard and the gift u will give a family is huge. Talk with an adoption social worker and they will help u make the right choice

With you starting your post with "I already missed 2 abortion appointments..." - it made me think that you wanted this baby from the start. Maybe not for you to raise, but for whatever reasons you couldn't bear to destroy the child. You are to be commended for that choice. With regards to family support, if you feel that you know your family members well enough to know that they wouldn't support or assist you with the baby, that is again good to know. If that is truly the case, then you do need to think about being a single parent. That is, if the father of the child isn't going to be involved. You didn't mention him, so I'm not sure if he will be there for you and the baby. Either way, know that you are the primary care-giver for this child. However, it isn't easy to be a parent - no matter what age you are and even with support! I urge you to seek out a program that assists and advises teen mothers. Those located at birthing centers and/or help centers may be a good place to start looking.

You mentioned adoption - if that is a viable option that you can deal with and accept, then that is what I would call selfless sacrifice. There are countless numbers of people that would do anything to have a baby and cannot for one reason or another. If you can go through a reputable agency, you can feel good knowing that you made a family happy and your baby, a good & stable home.

This is all basically up to you. Take time to read, go "inside" and meditate with your thoughts - visualize what you really want your future to be. Do you wish to have your baby and raise him/her no matter what? Or do you have goals & dreams that would be easier achieved if you didn't have a baby right now?

Know that many, many women have been in your situation and have made choices such as the ones you're facing. And they've survived! You will too. But don't look for the answers in others. Make sure you're alright with whatever you decide. And know that you have the right choices inside of you - you just have to bring them forth and be aligned with Spirit.

I wish you luck, love & success!

Find a pregnancy counseling program in your area. You can google them. They really helped me when I ended up unexpectedly pregnant. It's a decision you ultimately have to make, but they can be great people to help you process. Also, adoption agencys are GREAT at not pushing people into adoption. They seperate adoption counselors from the pregnancy counselors (adoption counselors work with potential parents where as the pregnancy counselor works with the women that are pregnant). I spoke with one when I was pregnant and she NEVER pushed me one direction or another. When I decided to parent, she helped me find resources that could best help me prepare to parent. So this may be an option too. They are able to give you a pretty well rounded idea of your options.

I do want to note that MAY be surprised by their responses when you do tell them. Teens assume that parents will just kick them out because it is not what the family plans. However, many parents eventually come around to the decision to parent and will work with the child. I don't know anything about your particular family situation so it may be different, but just thought I would throw that out there. I work with a lot of teens and almost every girl on my caseload has had or is having a baby. But, like I said every family is different.

I'd say talk to your family. They may be close minded at first, but give them a little time to adjust to the idea. I know someone whose 17 year old got pregnant, and she said they were devastated. But she said that once they talked it out, they worked out a plan, and now just see it as a detour rather than a roadblock. She had the baby while in HS, and now she's a college freshman. She still lives at home and her parents and the dad are helping out. They know that the only way she can raise the baby is by providing a good support system and helping her get through college so she can get a good job to support him on her own eventually.

I think its your choice,but I know where you coming from where you need some advice. I think keeping the baby is a better choice then abortion.(My choice not affending anyone) I could never give my child up no matter how hard it might be. My sister made 17 when she got pregnant. Of course my mother was mad b/c she was a jr in school and her b/f was about to gradurate in May. She made it work but of course she had some help with her MIL and husband when he wasn't off fighting for our country. She took summer classes in South Dakota(where they we station at after her son was born) and came back to our home state and gradurate with her class that year. She had some people helped her with babysitting. She had another child about 3 years later after the first was born. Now the oldest is 6 and youngest is 3 and is going to college for Early Childhood Education to work with kids/be a teacher's aide and be on the same schedule as her two boys are for school. I think you can do whatever you put your mind too. Yes its going to be hard but will be so worth it later in life.

My mom was so mad when my sister got pregnant at 17 but she never kick her out. My mom told her she had alot of growing up to do to take care of this baby. My sister made the choice to moved out and move in with her MIL during that time. Things happened for reasons we don't understand why. Good and Bad. This may be a good thing. Your grandmother made not kick you out. Maybe she will let you stay there for a while and help with the bills and clean and take care of your baby until you get more stable to be on your own?

Just my Thoughts!! Hope things will work out for you and get better!!!
Best Wishes!!

Dear M., i'm sorry if your family choose not to support you through this. Every woman , even married , needs a support system. No one can tell what is in your heart but you so no one knows if adoption or raising the child is best for you. It's hard but it can be done. If the family won't be there for you find a support group, not just here, a physical group you can go to, for assistance. Can you look into housing options?
I wish i could do more for you but all i can do is offer you love and prayers. I hope you find an aswer that you can find comfort in.

Ive got to say, your half way there. Seems your being very responsible. Im glad. I think you should probably talk to your gradma and tell her exactlt wat you posted here. Because maybe she can help you with your decision on wat to do. Im not here to judge or anything like that. Because i was always told grown up if i got pregnant i was out the door.
Just remember there always a way. There so much help out there now for single moms.

Best of Luck. I would love to be kept posted on your decision/life... :-)

You can do it! You can choose to have your baby and raise him/her by yourself or you can choose adoption if you feel you really aren't ready to be a mom. Adoption may be a better option for you. Either way, go and talk to someone about your options. There are adoption counselors, pregnancy counselors etc. They don't charge you any money and you will get the information that you need. Look up Bethany Adoption centers or pregnancy counseling centers. They will help you with EVERYTHING. Best wishes and take good care of yourself. Start putting every penny away that you can to save....GL

M

contact your local/nearest Pregnancy Care Center / CareNet. They are nationwide and can help you with EVERYTHING...from physical needs for you and the baby to referrals, counseling, etc... They are amazing!!!

Hi, M.:
The first thing to do is have the name, address of the fella/s
you had sex with to account for your pregnancy.

There is an unwed father out there that needs to be held accountable for
his lack of protecting his seed from being implanted in your womb.

Check your local Child support enforcement office also.
Look at the suggestions you have received and follow those you think best for your situation.

Crisis Pregnancy centers help out too.

Good luck.
All the Best.
D.

There should be a crisis pregnancy center somewhere in your area. They should be able to give you information on both parenting your child and placing the child for adoption. Your high school guidance office may also have resources for you.

My friend was 19 and engaged to someone she knew it wasn't going to work out with and they placed their son for adoption after doing a lot of soul searching. It wasn't that they didn't love him. It was that they loved him enough to know they couldn't take care of him.

I also know people who made it work (my cousin was 16) but usually it works best if you have family or friends for support.

Good luck. You have a lot to think about, but at least you have signed up for things like WIC.

Dear M.,

Are you sure your family would kick you out? Or could they perhaps be a great support system for you? Obviously, we don't know your entire situation. From the snippet you have given I would say the answer to these questions would determine where to go. If they would be willing to support you, and help you, then I would say keep this baby if you are DETERMINED to complete your high school education (if you haven't already) and complete a 4 year degree program at an accredited university in a program that is RELEVANT in today's job world. It would be rough thru there, but with your family to help you could do it if you were determined and disiplined. If they are not supportive, then I would encourage you to look at adoption options. You don't want yourself and your child to be on the system forever. That is no life for either you or him/her, and there are plenty of WONDEFUL adoptive families out there. That is my 10 cents. I wish you luck, and pray for you and your baby.

Try the Gabriel Project. It provides support and assistance for troubled pregnancies. I'm proud of you for missing the abortion appointments. This is not an easy decision, but in reality, the decision has already been made... you are carrying a baby... it is growing in your womb... and it's a real person. If you decide to go the adoption route, someone who can't have a baby will have the joy of raising your baby. If you decide to raise the child yourself, it won't be easy, but you can do it with the right help. Pray for the right guidance and be confident in yourself. You will make the right decisions as they come up. You've already made the biggest "right" decision by not having an abortion. You can do this. Even if you give up the child to another couple who is in a better position to raise a child, that child has a reason to be here... no smaller than the trees or the stars... just like you. Fare well.

nobody can tell you what to do, you have to come up with that on your own, if your not ready for a child, then adoption, if you feel like you can do it, then work hard adn raise the baby. this is your decision, adn yours alone.

I think it is totally okay for you to have this child and to keep it. I know many will say you can't do it but I see girls do it every day of the week. I know you can.

It is easier if your family is there to help but you can do this on your own if you decide to.

You can go to college and have a child. Many many many many people do this every day, you get up, get ready to go, take your child to the child care center, then go to school. You get out of school and if you have finished your study time you go pick up your child and go home. You live like a family does when the parent is in college. It is doable.

Live on campus in married/family student housing, get financial aid, the bursars office will take ALL of your rent out of the funds before they give you the remainder. You will use food stamps and a monthly state check to live on during this time. Leave some money on your bursars account to cover summer if you don't want to move out each May and back in when the Fall semester starts. Take a couple of Summer classes, you will graduate sooner. It will also guarantee you get to stay on campus. I had low income housing when I was at OSU and my rent on campus in married student housing was only $43 a month. They actually rented for $340 per month so I saved all that extra money they would have held out to pay that too.

If you decide to work instead of going to college you do the same thing except you apply for food stamps AND child care. You still get to keep the WIC and other stuff.

Go today and apply for low income housing. It is in the phone book in the blue pages. It may say something like HUD or Section 8. They will help you through the paperwork process. It can take months to get an apartment. It might even take a year.

$10 per hour is a pretty good job as far as I am concerned. I don't know anyone who is in high school that makes near that much.

It is enough to support you if you use the resources available to you. Food stamps, low income housing, child care assistance, welfare funds, etc...it won't last forever. It will be something you will look back on when you are out in the world as an adult and say "Wow, I really did that". You will be able to hold your child and say "I did this for you".

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If you do choose to give your child to an adoptive family only do it if you are totally sure you cannot be a parent. If you cannot love this child. If you are sure you want this.

Once it is done you cannot change your mind. When you get to be an older adult you do not want to look back on this situation with regret or self loathing. You want to be proud of your life.

I would also suggest you make the number one rule is that the adoption must be an open adoption. That way they are accepting that you will be an intricate part of this child's life for it's entire life. That way you will still have a life with this child but not the day to day raising of it.

Is your family really going to kick you out? If so, shame on them. How about the father and his family - any chance of support there? Please do not count out the father's mom and dad without letting them know you are pregnant. I realize this is a scary time for you. My heart aches for you. Remember - you are not a bad person. You are caught in a situation but you did not create this child by yourself. There are plenty of people your parents' age who had unprotected sex when they were teens and just got "lucky" and didn't get pregnant - maybe even your parents. So people should not be so quick to judge.
Have you anyone older to talk to? A teacher you trust? A counselor? A preacher or pastor? A doctor?
If you decide on adoption, it may be the hardest decision that you have ever made but just remember if you decide to go that route- you are doing what you think is best for your baby. You have already made a step in the right direction by not getting an abortion. If you decide to keep your baby - I hope that you get the love and support you need and deserve.