Ok Mamas this might be a weird one, but I really need some help/advice. I have a 9yr & a 5yr, this is not about them. It's about me.
In the last few years I have noticed that my ability to run my household is gone. My house is constantly a mess, but I feel like I'm picking up all day. I mean it's from the kitchen, to the bedrooms, to the laundry--everything!!! I just can not get it together. I don't have a schedule at all. After the kids go to school, I usually have a cup of coffee and go back to bed or watch TV. Then if I do work on something, I feel as I get on a loop. Like I'll clean the kitchen and do some laundry, but that seems like all I can do everyday. I don't move on to something else. Now, with two kids in school, would you think the house would be spotless, I would have some hobbies and get out of the house--BUT NO, I have to be dysfuntional. HELP!!!!!
Now, let me give you a little back ground on myself. I do have Clinical Depression. I take meds & see a dr. I 've had this for many years and is pretty much under control. I also have "General Anixety Disorder" which is same TX as above. The most recent thing I'm having a hard time with is Major Issues with my Mother. My mother had much aniexty when I was growing up, but they didn't know it back then. She was very mean and very strict. One of biggest issue is my mother had a "Schedule" for everything. If that schedule got disrupted in a away there was major HELL to pay!!!! So, I swore I wouldn't have any a schedule, But I do understand the benefit of having it. But, I just have such a huge. block. I'm seeking treatment for this as i feel it is consuming to much of my life. I hope you have some advice for me . I would love to hear what your schedule is or what you do. Thanks
Hi i have a 7 yr old and 2 yr old and another due in May. My 7 yr goes to school, so just me and 2 year old. 2 main things i do everyday are laundry and dishes. So i try to add one other thing to that like vacume or mop and sweep. I also find writing down specific chores down on the calendar for myself helps motivate me. Like its my job for that day. HTH
When you work outside of the home your daily schedule is usually planned for you. When you work inside the home, you are the boss of your day. So it is up to YOU to decide how to spend that day.
You already have some key deciding factors: breakfast for the kids; fixing lunches; off to the bus/school. You also know what time to be ready for the kids to be home. So the key is how to make the most of the time between your last key kid action and your next key kid action.
When I was home on my first maternity leave I lullied into a routine depression. I couldn't bring myself to get dressed because I followed the thought of sleep when the baby sleeps. then when he was awake i couldn't take the time to clean or shower and since i hadn't showered i couldn't get dressed and go out. after 3 weeks hubby came home and basically threw me in the shower!
Why is that important? I learned something key, for me. Get dressed in clean clothes every day! That leads to two things. 1. I don't like putting on clean clothes when I haven't showered, so that meant that I'd have to shower every day.
Buy a business planner. With a page for each day. Then plan your day.
6a - get up and shower
7a - fix breakfast
8a - kids to bus
9a - clean up the kitchen
10a - pay the day's bills
12p - eat lunch
1p - clean up room x
You can also plan to do one room each day or say every tues. change the sheets on everyone's bed. Or plan from 11a - 12p each day to work on one bedroom. Then, as things are done, check them off. The key is to allow yourself time in your plan to have down time when you are getting into the routine. Then as you adjust to it you'll find that you get things done between 9 and noon and then relax all afternoon.
M.
Flylady.com helped me out a ton! I think the best thing I learned from there is to get ready every morning. At first I thought is was kinda stupid to get all dressed up and do my makeup/hair if I wasn't going anywhere. But getting myself out of my sweats or PJ's really helped me avoid being lazy.
I'm a very disorganized person and procrastination is my middle name. I post my daily routines/checklists on the fridge. On days that I've gone through and gotten it all done, I feel so proud of myself. If I don't..oh well, it will be there tomorrow and I'm not too hard on myself. I've also set up a flexable schedule for myself and it seems to help. Doing a little bit everyday is very helpful. Mine goes like this: Sunday morning is home TLC and the whole family helps out doing a general clean-up of the house (even my 3-yr-old helps dust and put things away!). When we all work together it only takes about 2 hrs max. Monday is my day to work on my stuff (my favorite day). I love to scrapbook and work on my photography stuff. Tuesday I pick one area of the house and spend an hour cleaning or organizing. Wed I update the calendars, make a menu up, and prepare a shopping list. Thur I do all my errands including grocery shopping. Friday I pay bills, go through mail, and file any paperwork. And Saturday I don't do a thing, but spend time with my family or go out with some friends. I have found that keeping up with my schedule has given me even more free time then I had before. If you get your whole family involved it really helps out too! Don't let your mom's OCDness about schedules scare you away. Think of your schedule as more of a guide and motivation tool more than anything. Hope this helps :)
I've had days like that, too, absolutely. I work PT and am a graduate student through an online university. I find that the more hours I work and the more schoolwork I have, the more I get done at home. When my work hours are down and I don't have any school deadlines, nothing at all gets done.
Some ideas:
volunteer for an organization that you care about
break things down to tiny pieces - do household chores in 15 min blocks only (a FlyLady technique)
find something physically active that you enjoy to add to your day (don't call it exercise :-)
schedule time with a friend regularly (coffee or a walk or something)
find a system (don't call it a schedule) that lets you see your week (online or on paper or a whiteboard), then fill it in with fun things and "work" things - look at it every morning, and again at night and be sure at the end of each day to write down or recite to yourself all the positive things you accomplished today
I feel the same way. Start small and take baby steps towards getting organized etc. Check out flylady.net too. Good luck!
I think the busier I am, the more efficient I am.
I like www.flylady.net.
If I don't turn on the tv at all-I get waaaaay more done.
Have you ever tried listing the stuff you want to do the next day the night before? That helps me stay focused and I LOVE checking stuff off the list!
I hear ya! I've had this weird feeling lately and can't quite put my finger on it. I have an almost 4 yr old and an 8 mo old. I of course am sleep deprived and nursing a lot but still I feel I get nothing really done. It kind of makes me crazy and have thought I need a schedule or something. I'm very anxious as well and a bit socially retared! LOL! Sometimes I find if I just get out and walk or sit outside this helps. Also, just breaking up the day by going somewhere. Even if you have to force yourself and know you'll feel weird being in the "world". Good luck!!
Yes, I have days when I feel like nothing gets done too. You don't need to be OCD about having a schedule though. Maybe try setting a timer for each room. Give each room or task 1/2 hour and then move on to the next thing. Don't be too hard on yourself. Get out of the house once in a while too!
Maybe getting a job would give you motivation, having too much free time makes me procrastinate, having a deadline makes me get it done. How do you do when you are working?
I hear you! I used to be you. Then i set up our household schedules. I am putting them into an ebook series...would you like to be an experiment/ testimonial? i am looking for 5 families to run my program with as i get the kinks out. it is about food, cleaning and communication is the home. The ebook series is called Your Family Rules. Want to play?
B.
Family Success Coach
I'm with Sue, the more time I have, the less I do. My kids are both in school and I was going crazy at home. I'm now working PT and love it. If a job's not for you, find something to fill the time. Something that will give you a bit of structure, like volunteer 2X/wk, grocery shop at a certain time, take a fitness class, just some stuff to fill up your schedule and keep up your momentum.
Hi!
Check out flylady.com. She sets a weekly schedule and sends daily reminders. I think it would be great for you because it tells you what to do from beginning to the end of the day! Everything from get up, brush your teeth, put on your clothes to this is what our mission is today! The biggest part of it is she sets goals and gives tasks of things to do in 15 minutes. They also send e-mail for the kids! They are goals for the kids to do in their own rooms. I believe it is called Riley's challenge. However, you WILL get inundated with tons of e-mails from them! Not SPAM but more of testimonials from others such as "Lookie what I did!" type of e-mails. Check it out. It might just help you. .
Maybe try setting out some simple goals for yourself at night for the next day. Sometimes the pride of just doing something will give you the motivation to accomplish more. Try to achieve a balance, not a spotless home. Do one thing at a time, and don't beat yourself up. Good luck!
I might suggest using words other than schedule. For instance "ration" the amount of time you allow yourself for television. Use rewards as well. "After I get the laundry put away, I'm going to enjoy a cup of coffee while doing the crossword." I would also recommend starting your day off with some sort of exercise. A walk around the neighborhood or a yoga video.... it will help you "get in the mood" for productivity and the endorphins will do wonders for your depression.
