I Need Advise Please, Again!!!!

Updated on May 18, 2010
A.S. asks from Houston, TX
7 answers

Hello to everyone, and thanks for taking your time to read my question. I'm back for wonderful advise. You see my baby is turning 3 this June and well I know we still have a good two years before she starts school. And we have (I have) started to think about After School Care for her when she gets out of School. You see I work full time M-F so she will have to be picked up by her daycare to be taken to daycare until I get out and go get her. Well right now she goes to a daycare (she has been going there since she was 5 months old) and I love her teacher, and she knows everyone there. This daycare is close to my job, which I love, but when she starts school I am going to have to switch her to a daycare closer to home and school so that they can pick her up. Well this is making me so sad thinking about it. I am not good with change and neither is she. I enjoy our time together when we are driving to daycare/work and back home. If and when I switch her we will only be together for about 5 to 10 mins tops on the way to daycare, or school in the mornings and back. I have talked to my hubby about this, but I guess he just does not understand what I feel and why. So I decided to talk to you wonderful moms out there. I am getting so scared of having to look for another daycare that I feel good about, leaving her with new people, sort of starting over. And then getting so sad about her starting school, a whole new routine for us. Which I know it will be okay, but I guess I just want re-assurance that I will find something good, and that we will both be okay. I called the school where she belongs according to the zip code and they said that they don't offer the after school program like some do. So I have to switch her to daycare. I am not from Houston, so this makes it more harder. And the fact that daddy leaves all this on me, makes it even more stressful. I know that we will be okay, but I know that other moms out there, either are in my shoes, have been or will be. Please just give me some advise and reassurance for this first time mommy that is crying her eyes out at work. Just thinking about her baby and the changes that are headed our way. Thank you all!

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K.F.

answers from New York on

The best thing for your to do is just pull yourself together. You are the stabalizing force in your child's life at this time. With all the love in the world you must learn how to master making transitions and teach your child the same because life is all about transitions. Once your child was a infant, then a toddler, then a child, then a pre-teen, then a teen, then a young adult then an adult.

Why are you stressing out about something that is two years in the making? Please get it together, momma. In two years, your husband could receive a raise or promotion and you two could be moving to a bigger house in a better community. You don't know what two years will bring but it is good to begin the process of seeing what is available out there. It may be possible to find a school close to your job but you could have a different job in a different location in two years.

Long story short, it is wonderful you are getting prepared. Being prepared for the things you can prepare for should be part of making transitioning fun and exciting not anxiety producing. Try getting a new perspective on things. This will help both you and baby girl. Also remember some things are taught but others are caught. Is your daughter catching your anxiety?

2 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

Check with the school she will be attending. Many schools in Texas offer after school care (for a fee), and she could simply stay at school until you pick her up after work. We don't use it, but I know many parents who are very happy with the after school program at my son's school, and I am pretty sure it stays open until 6:30pm.

I know it is difficult, but do your best to relax. Parenting is a long journey, and you are going to drive yourself crazy with worry. Your daughter is going to recognize your stress as well. Enjoy the moment with your daughter rather than focusing so much on worries so far in the future (easier said than done, I know).

2 moms found this helpful
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R.T.

answers from Orlando on

I agree with what others have said-- even if you love her daycare where she is now, start looking to switching her sooner if you can so that the kids in her preschool class with be with her at her public school in kindergarten and she will see some familiar faces both AT school AND at the after school program.
Also, I'm not sure how things work in your school district, but some will allow you the option of sending your child to the public school closest to where you work, so look into that now so you can have the proper paperwork filled out when the time comes if you want to explore that option

1 mom found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I wouldn't stress about it right now. A lot can happen in two years. Does the school district offer after-school care? That's what most parents do at our school. It's right on the school site, so it's easy drop off and pick up for parents.

The transition away from the current daycare doesn't have to be too traumatic. It will be timed with the start of school, so this should actually make it go smoothly because you can focus on the positives of school.

Our daughter is leaving her daycare at the end of summer to start preschool, so I know how hard it is to leave a place that's been so positive. Our daughter has been with this same provider since she was a baby and has great friends there, so it's a big deal. However, we'll be able to focus on her being a big girl and starting school and I know that will ease the transition.

1 mom found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Dallas on

*hugs* it will be okay. Just go and visit new daycares, get lots of referrals. Do you go to a church in the area where you can get referrals at all?

Dads have a hard time understanding some of these things, but you still have the right to ask him for support in your search of a new place and checking them out. Maybe have him ask around at work for referrals, then he may see how tough it can be!

Take care!

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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

My best advice is to start looking for a good daycare now. Don't wait. The sooner you can get her transitioned to the one she's going to have to ultimately go to, the better. This way it's only one change at a time for her. Switch her as soon as possible and see if you can take a few days off work to be with her on her first few days to make the transition easier.

Sure change isn't easy, but speaking from experience (military family) it gets easier to deal with after you get a little experience with it. You have to break through your comfort zone if you're going to be able to move forward. That's just life.

Best of luck!

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

I do applaud you for being able to recognize that change is hard for you - and, I agree with both of the other posters.

I'd start the transition process now if you're really concerned about the impact. But, you do need to lead by example for your daughter and show her than change is a part of life and how to deal with it.

Here are a few ways to look at it:
1. If you do transition her ahead of kindergarten, she'll establish new friendships and not have as difficult of a time transitioning to a new school, new teachers, and the new environment of school vs. day care.
2. with the economy as it is, who knows where you'll be working 2 years from now. My previous employer gave us 10 days notice that they were laying off 450 people. I was one affected. Many variables in your life can possibly change between now and 2 years from now. So, enjoy today as much as possible.

I used to love taking my kids to day care and especially picking them up. There's nothing like the look on your kids' faces when they see you and are so excited that you're there. I can't do it anymore because of my schedule. It's not fair to the kids to have them in daycare an additional hour/day (they're 2 and almost 4) because of my schedule when they can go with Dad and have more time at home, with their neighborhood friends. It stinks, and occasionally they get to have me pick them up or drop off, but we choose to do what is better for them most days.

Good luck. Look forward to the new phases each stage brings. We never know what is around the corner, and as much as I miss some of the early stages, I love where my kids are right now.

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