I Need Advice!!!!

Updated on November 14, 2006
S.M. asks from Indianapolis, IN
7 answers

I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl, who is a red head and has the temper to go with it(no offence to anyone) Here is my problem. She wants nothing to do with any men at all including her daddy who loves her very much. She wont go near him and when he tries to talk to her or love on her at all she cries and yells at him which in turn makes him mad! I dont know what to do. It really hurts me that she is like that with him. Any advice???

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So What Happened?

Here is an update so far. My husband has been working on playing with Hannah more and things are going a little better! Thank you everyone for your advice!!

S.

More Answers

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C.M.

answers from Sioux Falls on

My son was actually the same but with me. It hurt my feelings so bad I would cry most of the time. He is now four and he is just starting to warm up to me. My only advice is to have daddy take her out on dates once in a while even if it is just to the store that alone time is the best for strengthening a relationship. Even if she kicks and screams going out the door I would encourage him to take her. I did with my son and it has made a huge difference. Everytime I leave now I always take one of my kids with me for some alone time since I have four kids they dont get that one on one time at home so we will run to the gas station or to the store or something and just talk about their day. I hope this helps I do feel your husbands pain though I went through it for three years.
C.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

S.:

Since your daughter is most likely in daycare since you are working full time, it appears that she is spending most of her time with employees of the day care that are female. She is comfortable with her female teachers since she is spending so much time w/ them. It sounds like she is just working through a phase.

However, you might want to see if there are any male employees in the daycare. Alot of times males in daycare play the heavy or the more disciplinarian role so it is hard for little girls sometime to get that comfort level.

Just be loving and have Daddy join in on games that you initiate. Have you tried initiating a game with your daughter and then having your husband sit in for a bit and then you exit the scene and let him continue on? This is one strategy we have used in the past. It may take her some time but she will be fine I'm sure.

Keep your eyes open though to her behavior at the daycare as well. If her behavior has changed in the daycare you might have other issues to deal with.

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J.C.

answers from Indianapolis on

my daughter's the same way, with her real dad even before I left him & then again with her step daddy. hard as it is, just give her time & space. have him interact with her to the point that she'll allow then no further so that she can see he loves her & isn't going to stop loving her no matter how mad she acts but that he's also not going to pressure her.

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D.S.

answers from Indianapolis on

My daughter was like that with her dad at first. Finally I had no choice, once a week I would leave her screaming with him. At first she ended up napping! Then after a couple of months she warmed up and stopped her attitude, b/c she knew he wouldn't allow her to act like that. Now he can't leave the house without her throwing a fit. She is daddy's girl!! Pray about too. But, I suggest giving them time alone and him letting her know that her behavior is not acceptable! My daughter was 2 when I started this and she is 2 yrs and 5 months now!

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C.S.

answers from Lincoln on

It is partly her age. Make sure she has alone time with dad,and you so something with your son during that time. But make sure it is them alone short periods at a time to start. It should work it self out and your son will enjoy having moms full attention!!!

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K.O.

answers from Evansville on

I have a daughter the same age and she has temper spats as well. The one thing that has helped us out is, I ask her why she is acting that way. Why don't you want to go to daddy or why don't you want to go to papaw. I help her recognize emotions and then she tells me. With some people its very blunt. She will tell me "I don't like them." Then I simply sit down with her and talk to her and tell her that we all love her the same. It hurts daddys feelings when you don;t play with him. Why don't you want to [lay with him? She ususally tells me something liek... Daddy said I couldn't go out side or Daddy won't let me go in the toy room. I then explain why she cannot do those things... like we are getting ready to eat or it's too cold out side or whatever the case is. Then I redirect her in something she likes. Usually I will get a toy out she loves or something she likes to do. It's usually a puzzle or markers and I have her and her daddy play together. Thats all they really want. Kids love one on one time and love the attention they get when they play together.

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M.H.

answers from Louisville on

my daughter also would through this stage, and her daddy got mad to . she finally grew out of it through so just give her some time. she'll be daddy's little girl before you know it.

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