Boy can I ever identify! I really struggle with this too. It's really hard.
I finally got 3x5 cards and a recipe box to put them in. I made dividers for daily tasks and wrote each one on a card (for example unload dishwasher, take garbage out, start daily laundry, make beds, tidy the clutter in each room, make dinner). I made a divider for each day of the week where I divided weekly tasks into one or two each day (plan menu/groc list, pay bills, vacuum/sweep, clean bathrooms, clean kitchen, grocery shop). Then I made a divider for each month of the year for things that need to be done monthly or less (vac/scrub furniture, clean windows, walls, base boards, wash rugs, scrub fridge/freezer etc). It has helped.
When I don't follow it I'm getting better at saying, "Oh well!!" And when I do I congratulate myself. It's tidying up clutter that really helps a room feel clean. It's not that important or reasonable to expect a house with kids to pass a white glove test. Kids are only little a short time & you just have to let some things go a little longer between cleanings sometimes.
Once in a while I hire someone to come in and just get everything done at once. It gives me time to get a few deep cleaning jobs done instead of spending all my time on the regular stuff.
Getting to bed earlier so I can get up BEFORE the kids REALLY helps (when I can do it). This time of really small kids is such a challenge time wise. Do whatever it takes to enjoy your kids and get the basics done. Maybe let yourself do housework for one hour each day and that's IT. During that hour get as much done as you can. Prioritize big time. Good luck finding a balance.