I Don't Know Whether or Not I Should Take My Sons Father for Child Support.

He needs to pay child support! He created this child with you and it is his responsibility to support the child.
Contact your local social services department and ask about the steps you need to take to get child support.
In Wisconsin the support is taken from his paycheck and sent to the custodial parent. If he quits his job they can take his tax refund or any other moneys he gets.

Don't put up with his threats or lies stand strong and do this for your child..

Welcome to mamapedia, R.

your boyfriend needs to be seen by a doctor and get treated for depression. He also needs to pay for his son's upbringing.

He doesn't sound like a good "man" - so you might want to get some therapy yourself so you can see the signs and pick better next time! Sorry - but really - get to know a man before you sleep with him and have babies with him.

Right now? You need to contact a lawyer. You MUST get custody, visitation and support nailed down. PERIOD. If this guy tells you he is depressed via a text? SAVE it to present to the court. He tells you via text or e-mail that he will QUIT if he has to pay child support? SHOW IT TO THE COURT! SAVE ALL of this stuff for the courts.

Don't date. Focus on you and your son. Take care of him and yourself. Provide him with the love and nurturing a child needs and don't say anything nasty or negative about his "father". You stay above board. Get your stuff together. Get to court - get custody, visitation and support ironed out. Get it done.

There are so many things wrong with this post, I don't even know where to start.

First, why are you worried about the child being by himself with the father? Because he doesn't come around "enough" or because he isn't paying child support? B.S. Unless you actually think that he is going to outright hurt a child, you are just making excuses. Pretty much any normal human walking the planet over say the age of 13 can care for a 4 month old baby at any time.

Second, I'm not buying that he is "mentally abusive." You just don't like that he doesn't have to own up to having a child and you do. That isn't abusive - it's lazy on his part.

Third, why should he come over at all or even bring anything? Clearly, you procreated with a lazy, self-interested person. Some of that's on you, sister. The rest is easily solved by filing for child support.

Fourth, who cares if he quits his job. What is he going to do - just not work for the next 18 years? Hardly. Let him find out the hard way that child support is an obligation - it doesn't go away just because you aren't working.

Fifth, keep your legs closed until you are able to choose what a good human looks like. Clearly, you had no idea about this guy, but yet you slept with him and didn't take the appropriate measures to ensure that you wouldn't get pregnant. Guess who gets to pay the price? Your poor kid . . .

It's really important to work these things out - child support, visitation, etc. If the two of you can work something out, great. But it's still going to be important for you to see a lawyer and know what the law says and what your rights are.

You need to find a lawyer now. You need to discuss child support (this is his child, too, and he needs to provide for him). You also need to discus visitation and your concerns. Maybe you have valid concerns. Maybe you're just upset because you are doing everything. Either way, you need to talk to someone who knows what they are talking about. Get in touch with a lawyer and discuss your situation.

I don't know for sure, but I always thought that child support and visitation were two separate issues. Meaning, paying child support does not guarantee him a certain amount of time with his son. Then again, this is his son, too. Children greatly benefit from a healthy relationship with their fathers, so it's something that should be encouraged as long as it remains healthy.

You sound really young.
Does your mom (your childs grandmother) have any advice for you?
Perhaps you should talk to a womens shelter and get some counseling and legal advice.
You are going to be co-parenting with your babys daddy for 18 years.
It would be good if you and him got into some sort of parenting classes so you and he can learn how to effectively co-parent.
If you and he end up with shared custody then sometimes child will be staying with dad - and dad will sure enough get a full on parenting experience beyond just a few hours every few weeks.

It's not uncommon for some men to have little interest in infants.
Lets face it - they cry, eat, sleep and fill a diaper - and don't do much else at first.
Sometimes men become more involved when kids are past the baby/toddler stage.
Considering that you were asking about his terminating his parenting rights a short while ago (or am I confusing you with someone else?) I really think you need legal advice.

There is a big difference between Childsupport and Parenting Time. You can’t withhold supervision based on money.

Go to your local childsupport office and apply. Support is not retroactive, it is from the time you file, so you are losing money for your child by not applying.

Are you willing to go 18 years without financial contribution from the father?

They will track your baby’s father’s employer down by his social security number.

There is no question that your child is entitled to the money brought in from child support. You must file for this right away. You aren't getting anything now, so if he quits his job and doesn't pay, you still will be getting nothing. BUT, the state will be going after him and will catch up with him at future jobs and at tax refund time. AND, you will be entitled to everything that has gone into arrears back to the time you filed. They will stay on him until the child turns 18 or graduates high school. It will be out of your hands and you won't have to pursue him for it because they do all the work. The issue of custody and visitation is completely separate from the issue of child support. You need a lawyer to file this petition as well. Ask for full custody with visitation for the father. If you have evidence of him being mentally abusive or not properly caring for the child, you can have minimal visitation set up or have supervised visits set up. It sounds like he is not wanting much visitation anyway. The way you are going about it is only causing stress for you and is not helping the welfare of your child.

You are not at all in the wrong for wanting to file for child support, and it doesn’t sound as if your child’s father is concerned about having custody at this time. Document everything that you can about the contact that you have with your child’s father, and continue to do this in case you may need it later (to show that he has not been a stable parent). Don’t allow him to make you feel guilty, or deter you from doing what’s best for your son.

I suggest some of the answers are leaving out an important part of this. He is showing an interest in his son by coming over often, feeding him, changing his diaper, helping him sleep. Visiting once or twice a week even if he's not consistent is a point in his favor. Have you considered that he loves his child now even tho he didn't seem to be involved at first. Do you know that it's important for children/babies to have a bond with both parents? Please think about what is best for your baby. Let go of your justified anger while you focus on what is best for your baby. Parenting time can be worked out.

You've said nothing that indicates yours and his baby would not be safe if left alone with baby. Depression in and of itself means nothing about babies safety. Millions of depressed parents have successfully parented their children. He takes care of baby at your house which shows he's capable of caring for his son.

Parenting rights are NOT connected to child support. I urge you to talk to a lawyer and a mental health expert. It seems to me your situation is more about anger than learning how to co-parent together. It's very important for the two of you build a relationship together for the sake of your son. I suggest going to mediation to work out your relationship, even if in the end, you decide to not allow him in your life. He has the right to be in his son's life. Know that one way or another the both of you will be in each other's life for at least 18+ years. Based on your post, terminating his parental rights will not be possible.

I wonder if the angry words, such as quitting his job, were made when you were fighting. A mediator can help you keep your comments to each other civil while the two of you find common ground.

Of course he should pay child support. I suggest that you're telling him he has to pay in order to see his baby. Saying that is not only not helpful but is cruel.Talk with a lawyer to know the rights of each parent. Then talk together with a professional so that both of you can be logical in making decisions. The most important issue is what is best for baby.

By the way, he can go to court. He can ask the court for shared custody. That is why you need to work on making this work. You still need to have a court's decision giving you custody, outlining parenting time and a child support plan. Legal Aid can help you. Their fees are on a sliding scale.

It is his son, he needs to help provide. But be prepared, if you take him to court for child support he might ask for visitation, which he is entitled too. The other option is to just ask him to sign away his rights and walk away if you can afford to fully care for him on your own. But you are fully within your rights to expect him to help care for the life he helped create.

I think you chose for him to be the father of your child so you should have him father your child. Get child support from him. Set up visitation and make him be a father. Drop the baby off for a few hours, leading up to a few days when hes older. Men are often declared dead beats, and women say "oh he doesn't come around he's only seen him once in 14 days" well probably because women act like they're the only one that can take care of the baby. HAVE confidence in the man you made a baby with and he'll have confidence in himself. I also don't get the whole I don't want my child to be alone with him thing that women do. But I'm also don't make the assumption that I'm any better a parent than my husband.