I Can't Get My Son to Go to Sleep on His Own.

Hi Nicole. I also have a boy who is 11 months old. I am not an expert, but my son didn't go to sleep on his own for the longest time until my mother has told me to give him a hot bath around 7:30pm and let him run around until I see him rubbing his eyes, for us it usually happens around 8:30-9:00pm, then i give him a warm bottle of milk, lay him down in my bed next to me until he falls asleep (10min) and then i gently pick hem up and put him down in his crib. works every time without fail (FOR US) I hope this helps. Sincerily, A.

Hi N., that's great that you did the down comforter.what my pediatrician recommended to me was to put like a shirt or night gown that had my smell on it next to our daughter so that she can still smell me and think that I was next to her. so maybe try that,if that doesn't work you might have to let him cry until he goes to sleep. he will get it. good luck to you .I know its tough.~L.~

My son, now 14 months, was doing the same thing. What we did was let him cry for five minutes then go in and reassure him, but did not pick him up, then leave for another 5 minutes. After a while he'd be so tired and when I came in he would stop crying enough that I could lay him down and pat or rub his back until he fell asleep. Then then next night you use 10 min intervals, then 15, then 20. I never went past 20 minutes. After a week or so he was sleeping through the night. One night he got sick and I let him sleep in our bed and continued for almost a week and then I started the 5 minutes thing all over again. It worked in about 3-4 days that time. Hope you get a full night's rest soon!!

hello, my name is T. and i just joined the mamasource and i read what you said about your son i just want to tell you before you put your son to sleep just lay your hand on him and say a prayer over him and do it every night and you will see a change.

Hi N.. My son is now 3 and we have gone through this too. He still wakes up at night sometimes but simply wants us to go in there and let him know we're there. I nursed and it was so easy to have him in bed and it became a problem when he started taking over the bed. Here is the only way it worked for us:
~We let him cry...up to 3 or 4 hours sometimes.
~We would go in and comfort him, (rub his back, talk calmly to him etc...)but we didn't pick him up
~We gave him a sippy cup with water, (another obstacle for later but good at the time)
~We learned going in made it worse along with changing the routine so I learned to stay in bed...very hard.
~We stayed consistant
At the time I cried myself to sleep half the time. It felt like every night was a form of torture and would never end. I know it sucks, but it's all that worked for us. I must say, had he been in a bed by the time we tried this...it NEVER would have worked. Also, we made the bedtime routine relaxing and consistant as well. Oh, and he rarely took naps and he kept busy all day....if he's tired, he'll sleep.
I really hope you all find something that works soon that is not too hard on anyone involved. I know it's hard and I'm sure you have more than just myself sympathizing with you. Good luck.

My son did the same thing try reading him a book in his room and then laying him down with your shirt or something that has your sent on it. It really helped with my son. I know how hard it is to let them cry but you have to remember that every day they are testing you to find your breaking point. Make sure you have a bed time pattern do the same thing every night. I hope things get better for you. It seems sometimes there is not a light at the end of the tunnel but you will get through it. Good Luck

From what I have read (and my experience with my son who is 11 months too), I have found that day time napping is essential in order to get a good night of sleep. My son fights napping like crazy (currently, he's crying himself to sleep). But if he doesn't take two naps, he doesn't sleep at night. So that's the first thing. The second thing is that if you have a soothing night ritual before bed it helps. Get him to be drowsy, then put him down. You can do this by rocking him, singing, or rubbing his back. Stay with him, rubbing his back for a few minutes, then leave. If he cries, let him cry. We let our son cry for a half hour at a time. It is torture, but it is important that he learns to sleep by himself. As long as we follow this routine, my son sleeps from 7 p.m. to 6 a.m. constistently. I'm following the guidelines from the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. Good luck!

P.S. Abruptly ending breast feeding might also be part of the problem. That's an adjustment for a little guy, so he might need some extra soothing and care.

I got this from nanny 911. I am the mother of three boys. My last one has been totally different than the other ones. I put him in bed and sing about 5 or 6 songs. Itsy bitsy, twinklw twinkle, you get the point. Then I literally sit there next to his bed untill he sleeps. After about two weeks I sat next to the door now I can put him to bed all alone and he will put himself to bed. It is an adjustment and time consuming but it's worth it now. B.

Have you tried giving him a warm bath and bundling him just before bed. I know that with a baby it's hard to have them go to bed at certain times. I have a 4 year old and a 10 year old, but since they were babies they were given a warm bath and bundled and bed time every night at the same time usually 9pm. I have also tried staying with them until they fall asleep it usually works. One more thing nap time should be early before 4pm. That way they will be tired when it's time for bed. And not wide awake because they just had a nap about 3 hours ago. Well hope my advice works for you. I almost forgot we got my 2 daughters CD players and put soothing music that also works. So every night they go to bed listening to soft music.

Had the same problem. My firstborn is what I call a "high needs" kid. Even in the hospital, he wouldn't sleep in the bassinet, only next to me. In the first 48 hours, I got maybe 2 hours sleep because I kept trying to lay him down in his bassinet. I gave up and became a co-sleeper (and got WAY better sleep--next to me, he would sleep for 6 hour stretches, even that first week). He's two now and although he's got his own bed, I STILL cuddle him to sleep! I co-slept til he was about 18 months (since I'm a working mom, I didn't mind--it was my chance to catching up on cuddling).

You've probably heard about the "bedtime ritual?" they do help to settle them down. Bath, bottle of water (helped for weaning), lullibies, cuddling,--repeat each and every fricken night-- and he'd be off to dreamland. One positive about co-sleeping--there is good news for the future! Since he wasn't too attached to his crib and was used to beds, I found it EXTREMELY easy to transition him to a big boy bed! I just cuddle him to sleep in his own twin bed (piled with his favorite stuffies), then quietly slip out after he falls asleep (in about 10 to 15 minutes, sometimes as long as 25 if he is restless--again i don't mind too much, I try to think of it as our special time, esp now that he has a new baby brother).

As for my newborn??? That BLESSED WONDERFUL ANGEL has no problem going to sleep on his own. I can't wait til he sleeps through the night. And unlike his brother, no colic either. He's my easy kid! I still co-sleep with him, but mainly becasue I am too lazy to get out of bed to feed him :)

My oldest did that too!! We would read to him or stayed in the room until he fell asleep, sometimes it took hours. We would put him in bed and read a story then leave and get something and come right back. When he learned that we would be back he calmed down. Then when we left we would take longer and longer. (My husband and I took turns doing it) It took about 6 months. But letting him cry it out and then get sick was just too much for us to take. Our Doc told us that we should ignore it. He is now 4 and falls asleep on his own and has for the last 2 half years. I would say to have a plan and just stick to it, and not to make a big deal out of it. Best of luck and sweet dreams.

Try putting his bed near yours in the same room for a while. This way he will get used to being in his own bed, while knowing you are still close. Then eventually wean him to his own room. Don't get too discouraged. Mine is three and every once in a while he will still come in to sleep with us!
I also put a large fluffy comforter under his sheets so hid toddler bed would be more comfortable and appealing to sleep in.

Hi N.

I went though this with my son. You have to let him cry it out. No matter how hard it is. The choking and gagging is to get you to come in. Make sure that you can see him but he can't see you. The first time I did this I didn't think he would ever go to sleep. I think it went on for about an hour. I have a very stubborn son. lol.

I feel your pain but this is what we get for loving our kids too much.

Hope this helps and good luck

L. C
Personal Nutritionist
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I recommend a book called the secrets of the baby whisperer and the secrets of the baby whisperer for toddlers by Tracy Hogg. It talks all about putting your child on a routine that is great for sleeping, eating and playing. It might help. My husband and I put our 3 month old baby on this routine and it made getting her to sleep much easier. Good Luck.