I Am Tired of Being an All Night Buffet

I'd be resentful of being exhausted too! So much judgment. Just because it's "normal" doesn't mean it's great. The terrible threes are normal, and that doesn't mean I lovingly embrace the tantrum!

My best suggestion, barring CIO, which she's totally old enough to do if you are comfortable doing it, is to NOT bring her back to bed with you at 2.30. I know you're exhausted, but it sounds like neither of you are getting a good night's sleep, and sleep begets sleep. Some kids are just not good at co-sleeping. My son doesn't want anyone near him when he's sleeping.

Good luck.

I completely understand the exhaustion. It is hard to think clearly when you are so tired that you want to fall on the floor and cry. I would say supplement with formula...it tends to be more filling. You could also keep increasing solids. She should be close to sleeping through the night now.

you may want to start giving her a big bowl of oatmeal before bed. Nurse her and then when she gets up at 1am offer her a sippy cup of water. she is old enough to be sleeping thru the night now. offer her the water only thru the night and don't bring her to bed with you. it may take a couple of nights of her crying but she will get over it. she sounds like she is hungry.

At 8 months, she isn't "hungry". She can go much longer than 2 hours between feedings. Are you feeding her a solid right before bedtime? You might want to consider that. And when she wakes up 2 hours after you have put her to bed, you go in and calm her with a little back patting, or rocking, but do not offer the breast. She will get the hint after a few hard nights of doing that. But you really are doing too much! She could go until morning without a feeding, I promise! She just needs to get use to the idea!

Hello,

Our 2nd child didn't sleep through the night till 18 months when I finally weaned him. But we co-slept all the time so it wasn't too much of an interruption in the middle of the night. So IT"S COMPLETELY NORMAL FOR HER TO WANT TO NURSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!

I would also suggest co-sleeping from the start. She MAY sleep longer on the first run........ And I agree with the poster who said her main nutrition should still be your milk! Our son didn't get ANY other food till he was 9 months old. And there were still days where he would just nurse after we had started solids. So don't be too quick to add additional food from what you are already offering. (It's GREAT that you make it all!!!)

Does she take a pacifier??? You may want to try to introduce one if you feel that she is just nursing for comfort. Our baby is 4 months right now. I could tell early on that he needed one. (1st had one, 2nd didn't) He would need to suck before bed for comfort but refused the breast as he would get upset once he started getting more milk!

Sorry that you are so exhausted. But remember that this too shall pass!

you are a pacifier, not a buffet :) no, she doesn't really NEED to nurse at night for nutritional purposes, it's a comfort thing... it sounds like you are over it, so i'd start weaning at night - have your husband go and comfort her when she wakes up for a few nights. good luck! and don't feel bad about it, you need sleep too!

At 8.5 months, she can go all night without nursing. She is doing it for comfort, not hunger, as you say. You need your sleep and, frankly, so does she. She could be extra fussy due to exhaustion, actually. There are a lot of opinions about the best way to get a child to sleep through the night. Find a method you agree with, and stick to it. You are not depriving her - you are helping her.

If she's waking at the same time every night, it could be out of habit rather than hunger. When my little guy did this, I made him wait a while after he woke up and tried offering a pacifier or just rocking before I fed him. That way if he didn't need to eat, I wasn't reinforcing that wake up habit. Each night he slept longer and within about a week was going all through the night. (We still have our tough nights, but thankfully they're fewer and further between). I hope things get better and you get some good rest soon.

anyone can be *resentful* of being exhausted without transferring that *resentment* to their baby.
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i would wean this little one from night feedings. it will be stressful at first, but you will handle life better when YOU're rested, and so will she once she's in the groove. she's probably wiggly at least somewhat because she's not as well-rested as she could be either.
she's getting an excellent diet, and kudos to you for making sure she eats so well.
khairete
S.

At 8.5 months, your daughter should be able to make it through the night without eating. I night weaned both of my sons at around 7 months and it only took a few nights to accomplish. I continued to nurse during the day, and everything was fine. You don't sound resentful, just tired - and I don't blame you. Good luck!

I can completely understand your frustration. First and foremost - it is not a resentment issue! It's more of an - I'm a mother of 3 who needs her sleep issue! With both of my children when they reached the point of wanting to nurse throughout the night, I decided it was time for formula. I obviously was not satisfying their feeding requirements. At the advice and support of our pediatrician I started my son on formula as his last bottle at night and started increasing his food at meal time. He slept through the first night I tried this. I actually heard him snore! 8.5 months of breast feeding is a very good start considering that some babies only get 3 to 4. Best of luck!

I understand how you feel. My LO is 13 months old and still BF's at night. We do not co sleep (just doesn't work for us, though we do it sometimes). I've tried weaning him, it doesn't work and no one gets any sleep. He went one glorious week of STTN, then got a tummy bug and we're starting all over again. My ODS was night weaned at 4 months, he could CIO no problem (it actually made it worse if I went in his room, but if he CIO he was asleep within 10 minutes). But with LO, he will NOT CIO (we've tried - it does.not.work.).

With the exception of the resentment comment (b/c I *know it's not any kind of resentment!), I do agree with PamelaandRavenM said (except we do not start off with LO in my bed...I nurse him in his room then lay him is his crib...I rarely bring him in my room at night).

At 8m it's more comfort than the need to eat. Sounds like she could be eating more grains and protein during the day. Talk to your doc to be sure she's getting a balanced diet. Great job making her food and nursing, I did the same, so beneficial. You can choose to let her 'cry it out' but read/research about it first so you do it correctly.

I like the advice of the poster who mentions starting with her co-sleeping at bedtime. Maybe wear a t-shirt at night and lay down where you are not real close, just where you can reach her. Keeping my hand (the whole length of my forearm actually) on my son kept him quiet when he started to stir at night. Often I could sush and hum and get him to back to sleep.

You might "test the waters" with a test like this: when she wakes up, acting like she wants to nurse, put her close to you but up high like near your neck. If she settles down, maybe she isn't truly hungry.

Does she nap during the day? It would help if you can arrange to sleep at the same time she is napping. I was able to do so with the support of my mom and my sister when my husband couldn't help.

Try one thing at a time. Maybe you want to start with less solid food and more breastmilk during the day. Maybe the idea of a feeding of oatmeal at supper would be a place to start. Believe in your instincts because you are the one person who knows this baby the most and the best!

I know you have been reminded already but it was very helpful to me to remember that this young one won't be this young very long!

add formula for nights only and give her more protien. and her night bottle make it acereal bottle. and get a binkie for nights

It sounds like she is using you as a pasifier. My youngest did this. See my post to your other question for advice.

Sleep is so precious now and you definitely need to have your beauty sleep so that you can be energized for you daughter. This is what we do to help our son sleep through the night and so far it work (he is 8 months).

After we give him a bath we rub him down with Target's brand "night time lotion", then we put him in a PJ with feet and then I turn on a box fan that we have in his room. The box fan leans against his crib but does not blow on him. I breast feed him one more time before I rock him to sleep and then I lay him down to sleep.

He goes to bed around 7:30 to 8 and wakes up around 7:30 in the morning. I hope this helps you.

Good luck and hope you can get your well deserved nights rest.

it may be that she isnt getting enough milk throughtout the day since shes getting so much food. they dont need food at this age they need breastmilk, the food is totally for practice. she is poopin gout most of the food you are putting into her. you may want to cut down on the food in hopes shse is getting more milk through out the day. it could also be that she is teething. my
daughter would do the same when she was teething since nursing is a natural pain reliever. either way good luck this too shall pass!

Is it possible for you to pump to feed her at night? She could be falling asleep while nursing and not getting enough to satisify her.

Also, yes, you can night wean her. She's getting old enough now where she should be sleeping all night long and not waking this much.

Please remember--she should still be getting 75% of her nutrition from you during the day. Solid food should only be a supplement still at this point until she hits the 1 yr mark.

wow, do i know what your saying! My second daughter is a snacker too! I had to post on this particular question not to give advice (because i could ask this same exact question) I merely wanted to show my support that you are not alone, and your feelings arent bad. I know you got a nasty post below, and id like to add that those particular people are like breastfeeding nazis. I kid you not.

Im pretty gung ho about the breastfeeding too, i believe in extended breastfeeding, and at trying beyond all sanity to maintain at least 6 months of breasfeeding with no formula, or pumping. Im very adamant about breastfeeding on cue and working with the babies schedule, not your own. Because its nature, and if we can do it we should. BUT

theres just no reason you should be belittled as you were. I recommend co sleeping to save your sanity until the official weaning starts. otherwise you are looking at nights like this until then, or you will have to try other methods that include periods of not soothing your baby, which is your choice.

I know you said your husband works crazy hours, but he may just need to help out a bit for the next couple of weeks. Your daughter "should" be able to make it most of the night without eating (unless she is sick, teething, growing) and if you are the one to comfort her she is going to root around until you feed her. If hubby gets up with her and cuddles her,sings to her, whatever, she may get back to sleep on her own. If it's you she will even smell you!! Good luck!
L.