I really need advice, mamas! My husband & I decided to have our son sleep in our bed for the first three months, i.e. the "fourth trimester." I just felt better about it, it was so much easier to breastfeed him in the middle of the night, and we both liked having him so close since we're new & nervous parents. We started a bedtime routine pretty early - bath, big bottle of formula (otherwise, I'm breastfeeding), swaddle, rocking/walking/singing to sleep in the nursery, then we put him down to sleep right in the middle of the bed and we sleep waaaay on either side of him. He's been going down and staying asleep before we go to bed, no problem, and would sleep until 3 or 4am when he needed to be breastfeed, and then would normally go right back to sleep. He turned 3 months on Sunday, so Saturday night we decided to try to get him to sleep in the crib, We did he normal routine, then put him in the crib. He lasted 2 hours and woke up screaming. I fed him, brought him back to bed with me, and then he woke up screaming every 2 hours and it took a lot of work to get him back to sleep. Sunday night, we kept him with us in bed because of the thunderstorms & our power went out. Last night we tried again, and it was a carbon copy of Saturday night. And I'm exhausted!!
How have you transitioned your babies from your bed to the crib? A few details - the nursery is right across the hall from our bedroom, so he's not far away at all. He was a pretty fussy baby and has just in the last few weeks calmed down substantially. He is definitely not a big napper = I usually get him to nap for long periods in a carrier (on either of us) or the stroller or if I hold him. the last week or so I've been working on this, and can get him to nap for about 30 min. in our bed. He eats well and has had no problem with the mixture of breastmilk all day and the formula at night.
Help! I miss cuddling with my husband!! Plus, I am going back to work after 4 months and neither of us sleep all that well with him in the bed because he is a noisy sleeper....
try looking up some co-sleeping info. I co-slept with all three of mine. I moved them to a crib next to my bed after the first year and then into another room after 2 and into a toddler bed. good luck
I'm also a firm co-sleeping advocate. My 5.5 y/o is only now being transitioned out of our bed because I'm due with #2 in July. Co-sleeping allows the skin to skin, complete comfort and safety - not to mention love and easy access to breastmilk that an infant and toddler need.
Why are you supplementing formula when you are home with your baby? You are setting yourself up for failing - when you supplement without pumping for that missed session - you are telling your body that the feeding at that time isn't necessary when in fact it was.
Supplementing when breastfeeding should only be in cases of emergency or when enough breastmilk wasn't able to be expressed. If you want to breastfeed - I'm trying to help you not self-sabotage.
As a single Mom for my child's first 3 years, working full time and going to school part time - I was never exhausted from sleep deprivation related to my infant/toddler. I was exhausted due to my heavy load of responsibilities... but never because I couldn't sleep at night. Co-sleeping was a life and sanity saver and still worked well after I got married.
You will have years to 'cuddle' with your spouse... your child won't give you so many before they start being too independent and needing less from you. Anyways - co-sleeping doesn't mean your affectionate and sexual escapades stop, just means you get more creative or take advantage of Grandma to babysit for an overnight.
Our 9 mo old daughter was very "high maitenance"- she always wanted to be held to fall asleep, or nursed to fall asleep. She slept with me and my husband for the first 8 months which was wonderful and allowed us to bond and was convenient because I breastfeed. I liked having her right there with me. The issue was that she would snack all nite long (just for a few seconds, I think she was just making sure it was still there), and she moved around alot, so I was not getting very much sleep. ( I work full time, (3) 12 hour shifts a week).
And also not a whole lot was getting done at home because once she fell asleep in the evening, one of us had to hold her until we put her in bed with us.
I had been reading, asking around and my sister recommended "The Sleep Easy Solution"- it worked for her 2 children. It basically uses routine and encouragement to get your baby to sleep through the nite.
http://www.sleepyplanet.com/ ...explains more
My daughter now sleeps 12 hours through the nite in her own crib and everyone is well rested including her.
I will say baby must be at least 4 months old so they can self soothe.
While it was hard to hear her cry the first 2 nites, I did not take long now we are all enjoying a good nites sleep. hope this helps
Is it possible the more frequent night waking is from a growth spurt and not related to the new routine at all ? What size bed do you have ? Have you considered being next to your husband and having the baby on your other side with a co-sleeper or side rail ? We attached our crib to the side of the bed so I could just ease the baby/toddler over into it after nursing. My friend had a giant crib built so she could nurse, leave the baby there, and join her husband in bed ! I think the goal is for the most people possible to get the most sleep possible, doing whatever you can to work that out. When you go back to work your baby may want to nurse more at night to make up for the closeness he is missing during the day, so you are wise to begin working on a plan now. Realize though, that babies change weekly at this stage and what works now may not work in a week or two. Be flexible !
He's at the age where he will start waking up again. It's growth spurt time, and also "awareness" time, where in the next month, he's going to become very aware of his environment. Then he'll be waking up becuase he wants to play with you! (At 3am...)
Move him to his crib, and it's OK to start some sleep training now. Whatever you're comfortable with. But he's at the age where the night wakings happen regardless of what you do. It's how you handle them that really determines how well you're going to sleep in the next several months. :)
Consistency, Consistency, and Consistency are the 3 best pieces of advice.
If he's going to sleep in his crib, that's it, he's sleeping in his crib. That does NOT mean the you're doing CIO or anything. And you'll probably have a few pretty uncomfortable nights of very little sleep while he gets used to it. But once he gets the hang of it, you all will be fine.
Therefore, if you put him to sleep in his crib and he wakes up 2 hours later, soothe him and put him back in the crib...as many times as that happens. Once he's about 14-16 weeks old, you can do CIO if you want, rather than the constant soothing back to sleep, but that's up to you and your parenting choices. And my guess is that if you're consistent now, you wouldn't need any heavy-duty CIO by then anyway.
Right now, he's used to you being there at his beck and call and he needs to get used to you not being next to him, but that can take a couple days, if not a week. But, if you're consistent with your methods (can't do crib one night, bed the next, then 1/2 crib 1/2 bed), your son will respond really well.
3 months should be a growth spurt. I would wait a few weeks and try again until after his cluster feedings are done. We put our LO in the corner of the crib so he can feel something next to him and that seemed to help out a ton along with keeping him swaddled until he was 5 months old. Since he could roll over we had to put wedges in there so he could not roll over in his sleep. Now at 8 months he is sleeping in his crib from 9:00 p.m. til 6:00 am.
The thing that stands out to me is that he is a noisy sleeper. WHY? Does he snore? Gasp? Gurgle? These are signs of sleep apnea. If he does in fact make these noises in his sleep, he needs a sleep study AND is so much safer in bed with you than in a crib across the hall.
My daughter got choked on reflux once in her sleep and didn't make a sound. I'm sure she would have died had she not been next to me in bed for me to feel her stiffen up and try to get air. No baby monitor in the world would have detected that very slight, noiseless change in her body, but my instincts certainly did and I was able to save her.
I firmly believe that co-sleeping is healthier. At the very least, put the crib in your bedroom beside of you as you sleep.
I was dreading moving mine at 8 months, and it went as smoothly as I could have hopped for. In fact I could have kicked myself for not doing it sooner, she actually slept better. I moved my first at three months, and it didn't seem to phase her. I understand your trepidation, but it may go better than you think. I say pick a day, don't over-think it, and do it.
I am expecting my 2nd in a few months and have been worried about this again too. I have a 2 year old daughter and I co-slept with her exclusively at night until she was around 10 weeks. When she was a newborn I would just put her in a bassinet by my bed and hold and feed her during the night/early mornings when she woke up. Transitioning her to her crib took a good week of restless nights. I would still go get her and take her into my bed and sleep with her for 3 hours or so. Soon as the ped gave us the go head to stop feeding during the middle of the nights, I kept her in her crib and would just go to her room and comfort her by talking to her and rubbing her (not pick her up) . Some nights I would pick her up and take her to bed, as I needed sleep too. Around 5/6 months I she started sleeping alone in her crib very well. And to this day and is a great sleeper!!
With my oldest 3, they co-slept until at least 9 months. Then, we did the CIO method. It was not fun, but they are great sleepers, and suffer no trauma after.LOL!
With my surprise, 4th, she was a different child, altogether. The others would fall asleep nursing, then sleep wherever I put them. My daughter didn't fall asleep nursing,therefore hardly napped as an infant. It took me awhile to realize her fussiness was because she wasn't getting enough sleep. I got the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby", by Marc Weissbluth. In addition to getting my daughter on a sleep/nap schedule, I did a different version of CIO.
Instead of putting my daughter in her crib, I laid down with her in my bed. She fought the sleep for several minutes -but eventually, she fell asleep. So, basically, I was letting her cry it out, but I was right there next to her. I didn't feel bad about walking out of the room(even though we did it with the older kids and it turned out fine). Since she was having sleep issues at such a young age, I was able to get her to soothe herself, with me there. Then, I was able to just lay her down in her crib and she goes to sleep. It would only work for the babies who aren't mobile, yet, but it seemed to be a great solution for us.
Good luck!
