Husbands and the Bedroom

I can't believe no one responded to this yet!

No, *I* have the drive, my husband is the one who's lost his (but he's also 12 years older than me)... but that affects me too. If he doesn't feel like he can 'make it work', and I know it's not my fault but I still take it personally, then *I* feel unsexy, and it turns into a vicious cycle.

To break the mold: be spontaneous. Set a date (for yourself) when you're going to be the first one to make a move. Think outside the box. If you normally have sex in the bedroom, maybe get things going in the living room, bathroom, or kitchen. Get sassy ;) Do something out of the ordinary: grab his butt, kiss the back of his neck. Make HIM want YOU.

I used to want to be a sex therapist, and I'm really open and unembarrassed about this kind of stuff. If you'd like more info, send me a PM... good luck and HAVE FUN trying :)

I have the opposite problem. Mine is too high and my boyfriends is normal (which I consider low for a guy) I actually got turned down last night! I said its been a while and he said no only since Sunday night! Ive never heard of a guy talking a girl out of thinking it was too little before! Booo! Getting turned down stinks. It makes you feel rejected a bit, so if you're having issues and your husband would like it more often I would say be spontaneous. Make the first move even when you don't want to, because during the act does anyone ever regret it. It ussually makes any things bothering you (headache, cramps, stress...) go away. Also think about it during the day. amp yourself up. Think about what you want done to you, what you want to do to him. Suprisingly the more active you get the more you want it. So J. break the cycle and make yourself perform and then I bed mid act you'll be wondering why you don't do this all of the time...and J. try and remember that thought and feeling next time he asks before you say no oops i lied it was monday not sunday the last time but still...being turned down stinks

Hi there,

I'm not sure what you're using for birth control, but when I had the Mirena IUD it absolutely killed my sex drive. Now that I've had it removed, it has slowly returned. For me it's all about making connections outside of the bedroom - holding hands, kisses here and there, and just talking, which isn't always easy in our busy lives. A little sexy lingerie can help too! Good luck!

Great advice so far! My husband lost interest in me about a year ago, but after talking about our fantasies a little, and acting them out, things have been great! Nothing crazy--just a little role play, lingerie, sexting. The sexting has been a lot of fun too! Let him know he still turns you on. And if it's you who's lost the urge, I definitely agree with what "Just M." said. Think about it when you're not together. You'll be surprised how much it will get you in the mood. And try and mix things up. Good luck and have fun! ;)