Hi M.. Forgive me, I don't know what SAHM means, but I can tell you what I know. I had my son when I was 36, he's two now and I'm 39, and my H and I had been married just under 2years when baby was born. I found myself in much the same situation, in that H would come home and hold baby for like, 5 min. and then set him in his playpen and go to the TV or the computer until after I had put him to bed. He never once has gotten up in the middle of the night, or much else to this day. My husband now wonders why baby doesn't want to sit with him, or stay with him when I go upstairs, or to the market. He, my husband, once made the comment that he wished that the baby would let him rock him to sleep, and I told him that he never had before, why would baby want to be with him now? I have found that with most of my friends, that has been the case as well. Men don't have that natural nurturing instinct with babies that we do, and when we breastfeed they don't have that same opportunity to bond that we do. I have heard it suggested that you pump, and let dad bottle feed your milk once a day. My husband never wanted to. I think that they(husbands) have this misconception that when baby gets older, and learns to walk and talk, that's when dad will take over and teach him to play ball and whatnot, but the problem is if dad waits too long to spend time with baby, baby may not be interested in spending time with dad. I think that men seem to get frustrated with babies when they cry, because they just don't have a clue what to do. I remember telling my husband that if he was going to spend the little bit of time he has with our baby yelling at him, that baby would most likely grow up hating him, and that he should perhaps consider how important is what you are yelling about. Is it worth sacrificing this baby's love? What can a 3month old really do that is so wrong? My husband thankfully listened. Now when he comes home from work, the baby is exited to see him, and if H sits down on the floor to play with him, they both play very happily. The minute H goes back to watching TV though, baby wants to be with mama. The only suggestion I have is that maybe you try talking to your husband and see if you can't make him understand that to have a good relationship with your adult son, you have to start now when he's a baby, and that yelling at him will only make him a nervous baby, who sees daddy as someone to fear, not as someone who is there to protect him. Best of luck.