Husband Lunches

No. It's a business lunch. I go to lunch one-on-one with male coworkers all the time, just like I do female coworkers. Doing lunch is part of the networking we all do. I don't even think to mention it to my husband most of the time. Honestly, he doesn't even really care.

I don't think I would be upset. I would just assume it was business and that is why he didn't mention anything...because it didn't mean anything. Would you be mad if he was having business lunches for years with men and not mentioning it to you?

If it was business and it's all about business then it's fine. Is he in sales? Sales people go to lunch almost everyday - and business is business - whether it's with men or women.

Do you trust him completely? Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him. If you feel that he is going to these lunches on the up and up - then you have nothing to worry about.

I would trust my husband. And I assume that he would trust me (because he can) although he sometomes gets jealous of my guy friends at work. But they are just that, friends.

1. if he never mentioned it to me? no
2. if he went out of his way to hide it from me? yes

women = plural
you can't keep women from being in the workforce, therefore running into business with your husband! And everyone's gotta eat! sheesh.

No. He works with men and women. They sometimes have business lunches. I used to have work lunches with both male and female co-workers. It's no big deal.

"Women" or "Woman"? How is your relationship? If it's good and you trust him, then nope - I would not worry. My husband is not that verbal and I do not think he would think it was a big deal or really matter. I go to lunch with male co-workers all the time, is that a big deal? Nope, I think nothing of it.

Kinda, yeah. I mean how does who he had lunch with NEVER come up in 7 years??? And it would really piss me off if he was being sneaky about it or trying to hide it.

Nope, I would not mind if it really is a business lunch, even if they are not talking business but coworkers just eating talking about family, sports, whatever... it is lunch. As other said below there are other factors that may concern you or help ease your mind.

Honestly I might be a little jealous no matter if my hubby ate with another women or man but I am human. Like just a few weeks ago my hubby mentioned he meet a former co-worker for lunch, and said they do this twice a year just to talk, keep that networking connection going, plus they really did work well together and created a friendship. I NEVER knew hubby was doing this, and had been for 3 plus years, but they were coworkers, and if it was a women I might have questioned but I do trust my husband so would still be ok with him meeting a coworker or former coworker for lunch.

Men do not communicate things like that... guess what when I have a business meeting I rarely talk about it (granted I rarely go on one so I always end up telling my hubby about the food I did not have to cook).

Depends....

I am the working parent in my family. Almost all of my business lunches were with men until I STARTED a women's professional networking group (because it's a male-dominated field & we needed it).

I don't usually tell my husband about my business lunches. He's home with the kids & sometimes he resents that I got to go out to lunch, even if he knows it was a stressful lunch with someone I'd never CHOOSE to be with. Honestly, it's easier not to tell him. I'm not hiding anything - I am just avoiding pushing his buttons for no reason.

Who did you think he was eating with? Is it lots of different women or the same? Does he ever have lunch with men? How did you find out?

When my husband used to work in another field he was always out with associates, usually women and we would talk about his day but lunch never was a topic as I never talked about my biz lunches either as they were usually boring. Months later in a conversation he'd say something like " I have to meet up with "Lisa" today and I don't know why, we ironed everything out at lunch 3 wks ago". It never made me upset. But my hubs is honestly Too honest for his own good(lol). Are you upset because it was never mentioned and you somehow found out, or just cause it's women? We have been fighting for the rights as women to be equal to men in the work place hence biz lunches and what have you,if wives get weirded out over it, it sets us back as equals. Aside from him not telling at the time he was lunching, if you've got no real cause for concern let it go.

No,
and by the way how did you find out???
my husband go the bars maybe once every 3 or 6 months with his friends and he's always get home telling me all he did (even if I don't ask) sometimes he tells me that a girl talk to him in the bar.. still I don't get mad..sometimes the trust and love is enough to sleep confident at night..
edit: I will get mad if I find out that he's trying to hide it from me....

Absolutely! Why didn't he ever share this with you? How would he feel if the shoe was on the other foot????

My husband is in sales so he goes on lunches with so many people that I think he would see it as tedious to tell me about it. I see it kind of like me salting his eggs. I know, sounds weird, let me explain. One day he saw me salting his eggs while I was making them. He quickly told me he did not like salt in his eggs to which I replied, Honey, I have been salting your eggs for years!! He laughed, and then ate the eggs ;) Basically, I realized awhile back, he actually did like them better with salt, so I started salting. I didn't keep if from him to pull a fast one, just never thought to tell him about it, seemed insignificant. So probably your hubby just never saw it as a 'thing' so it didn't come up. That's what I would figure. I know my man usually tells me things but the longer we are married, the more stuff happens and sometimes some things just don't come up! We had these friends who were married for 30 years and I swear they never told each other anything!! You would tell one something and then ask the other about it and watch a glazed and blank stare pass their face. I guess they had to much to say after 30yrs, minor stuff got skipped sometimes. Now if he seemed guilty or something, then maybe I would get weirded out. But if he said it was just business and nothing more, I don't think I would care.

To me anything that is hidden like that has more to the story. I would be more than heated, and no I wouldn't be ok with it in the future. Good luck!!!

If these are strictly business contacts, then no. Does he mention to you when he goes to a business lunch with a male colleague or client? If no, then no reason to mention everytime he goes to lunch with a female business contact. If he never has lunch with male business contacts, then I might be suspicious. He may simply have figured that since you know he goes on business lunches as part of his work, that you'd assume his business contacts would include men and women.
As for not answering the phone, it is terribly rude to answer the phone when out with clients or potential clients! It does not matter if they are men or women! That is not the way to do business with people. When your husband is at work, his attention is not yours. He is out trying to earn a living. My husband does not need to give me a list of everyone he has lunch with.

I agree it depends on the cercumstances. If they are coworkers and go to lunch in a group, there's no problem.

Yes -

I always think to myself - if there is nothing to hide why wouldn't you just tell me about it.

Depends, how do you know about them now? Are they with co-works? Do you know any of these women?

Hmm. I need to put in a yes, sorry. My husband and I are very close and share pretty much all of our daily events when we get home. Not for everyone, but works for us. Don't flip out, but I'd always be mindful if you are both not sharing things, esp. if it's regularly happening.

Yes, I would be upset about it, but I would also be upset that I had paid so little attention to his day-to-day life. If you are asking him each day how his day was and what did he do, etc AND he hasn't mentioned these lunches, then it's strange. If you both are glossing over your day in the rush of the evening, then time to start talking to one another!

Personally, I would always tell my hubs if I was having lunch with anyone so that he knows not to call when I can't answer. He does the same for me, so for us it would be strange and it would bother me.

My husband goes on a lot of business lunches + many women are in the workforce = me assuming that some of those lunches are probably with women. Never occurred to me to be suspicious of it. If there's more to your story than just being naive about the possibility of your husband having a business lunch with a female colleague, then maybe I would mind. But if it's truly just "hubby works, other women work, he has lunch with them sometimes, he never told me" I don't see the problem with that...

My guy actually travels and works side by side (including lunch dinner and drinks) with women pretty much daily.

No it does not bother me. I don't need to own every moment of his life.

Course, he doesn't HIDE it from me either. That MAY make me wonder, but maybe not, since I don't ALWAYS share every minute of my day and who it's with with him, not because I've got something to hide, it just doesn't come up, you know?

You better discuss your feelings with him. It's important he knows it effects you when he doesn't tell you these things.

:)

depends...
Was he "hiding" it or were they just work lunches where he didn't think there was a reason to "mention" them. There is a big difference.

I would say depends also..but, what does your gut tell you? If you are asking the question, something (consciously or not) is driving you to think that there's more to these lunches...

Either way, before you "react", think very carefully of what you want the outcome of this new found information to be.. i.e. he shares details of his day more or he takes you to lunch once a week, etc.

Matters. Are these group business lunches or "one on one" lunches? Did they go to some place romantic, out of the way and semi private or the very open cafe downstairs from the office in the middle of the dinning room?

If it was the cafe, then no, wouldn't bother me as all his co-workers are eating there too and well, if something was happening well, I have friends that work with him, our kids have play dates and the like, if it was out of the way and semi private... ummm, yea it would bother me.

Girl, you watch too much TV. I would be more saddened that he didn't talk enough about his day for me to be aware of this salient fact but not that he was lunching with women. They took off the aprons and left the kitchen back in the 60s honey, now they're all eaten lunch with your man! Ooh-wee! As long as *they* aren't on the menu, what's the problem?

If it was the same woman ALONE YES!!! If it is business and different women in a group then I would be annoyed that he never brought it up but I would be suspicious if it was the same woman alone all this time.

When we were engaged, we were counseled to "avoid the appearance of evil" and this very situation was the example our bishop used. He told my husband that he'd better not be seen at lunch with another woman, because what if I happened to walk by and see them? What would that do to me? And what if someone ELSE saw them and said something to me? It just doesn't look good.

Since that wasn't something you two agreed on before you got married, nor talked about until now, I don't think you can hold your husband accountable. If they were innocent business lunches, then write them off as having happened in the past. But I wouldn't think it is unreasonable for you to ask that he not do it again, or without telling you, or something that you are comfortable with.

My husband gave a female coworker a ride to work for a while when she had car trouble, and that was also discussed in premarital counseling as a BAD IDEA. I was uncomfortable with it, but there wasn't much we could do about it. Anyway, he stopped as soon as he could. It just isn't worth the risk. Things happen. People make poor choices. So stay far away from questionable situations, I say.

It depends on the details. If they were business related, it was a group of people or it was different people on different occasions I would not worry. If it was a pattern of having lunch with a specific person often or if he seemed secretive about it I might be concerned.

My first question is- Who are the women he is having lunch with?
Second question- Is it always the same woman?
Third question- Is it related to buisiness development (i.e., marketing/sales)?
Fourth question- Does he go alone with her or are there other people?

I ask these questions because it could make a big difference about how you should feel about it. If it is business related and/or with other people, then you have nothing to worry about. At my former employment, I had business lunches with various men (and women) at least once a week for years and it was not a big deal.

It depends.... I go on business lunches all the time with male clients (most of our clients happen to be male). I might tell my husband I'm going to lunch with clients, but I don't tell him how many people, whether they are men, etc.... If the lunch "date" are women because his clients happen to be women, there might be no harm in it. Did he at least tell you he was going for lunch (and not specify gender)?

If they are clients/business associates, no. If it's women he's having "lunch" with (ie, sleeping with on the side) yes.

No, he has clients that are men and women. Business is business and he also has a lot of business entertainment expenses, some are with women, including golf outings, restaurants, etc. These are not always group outings, sometimes it is a one on one lunch or dinner if it's a client out of town. My hubby is in sales and sales involves a lot of business lunches, entertainment, men and women.

I'm the one who manages all the financials of our business so I know what the expenses are, etc because I write the expense checks. Still, if he wants to go out and a woman happens to be there it does not bother me. He's comes home to his family.

He probably hasn't mentioned it to you because it is business and he hasn't even though about you being threatened by it. In his mind, he's probably just doing his job to provide for his family.

I don't feel threatened by it at all. It is a part of his business and he works very hard to provide for our family.

yep, i'd be pissed and wonder why i was kept in the dark. dont we all like to share events of our day?