C.N.
I don't know a good alanon group but keep trying other groups until you find one that fits with you. I don't think you should buy a house yet either. If he's drinking again, he's probably still a long way off from recovery. So even if he stops again, it's likely he'll fall off the wagon again. You need to take steps for your and your son to live independently from him (which you've already started to do). If I were you, I'd separate from him now before it gets worse for you. The burden is all falling on you now (which isn't fair, but true). I know it's hard to take this step, but I think you'll be a lot better off doing it now than later. Then you are in a more empowered position no matter what he does. If he stays sober for a year, the chances start to look better for recovery and you could bring him back into your life. He needs to fix this on his own and you can't control any of that. Recovery is not a quick process and he has to do it all on his own. You are protecting the best interests of your son and I commend you for that. You are in for a really rough road if you stay. It's not easy! Good luck.