Husband Does Not Want to Help,listen or Change

It might be time for a bit a shock treatment for your husband. If you have family or friends close by who wouldnt mind a guest for a little while how about going to stay with someone for a bit. I know sounds bad but it might get your husband to see that you mean it when you say you need his help. This way he gets to see what you do besides just take care of your son. Also he may think that you wont leave because you to have a child. If you do go to someone else's for a bit he will see that you are willing to take extreme measures to get his attention.
Another thing you can do is take your son into the room your dh plays his game and leave him in there with your Dh while you go out or pick up around the house.
Then of course talking and even suggesting marriage counseling might work.

Hi L., I know how you feel. When my daughter was born my husband had to do pretty much everything for her b/c I couldn't get out of bed for the first month (difficult delivery). After that things went back to normal before her. He went to work, came home, ate, and went to bed. I stay at home with her while he works, and I dont' mind. I do all the bill paying and all the houshold chores. He takes out the trash and that's pretty much it. But I don't know if you work or not, but if you don't then you have to understand that your husband goes to work and might have bad days and just wants to unwind. On the other hand I know it can get very difficult doing everything on your own. I destress by having a girls night while my hubby watches the babe.

Hi L.. It seems that these things will continue to upset you until one of you changes. From your letter, it sounds like he is not ready or unwilling. I would begin to work on myself then. First by praying for insight. Then, by doing the things that make me happy, all the while praying for my husband and our family. Seeming to be miserable will surely bring down those around or close to us if they are at all vulnerable - we've all heard the term co-dependent. You can create a satisfying life for yourself and your son that has room in it for your husband when he is ready to enter. When he sees you so happy and his family thriving, he is bound to want to be part of that! Of course, I'm no expert, but I know the power of prayer, and you and your family will be in mine.

wow, sounds like you married my boyfriend (and father of my 3 year old) He and I have been together almost 9 years and I love him dearly...when our daughter was born (3 and a half years ago) we decided to buy a house together....we're both sort of against marriage for our own personal reasons... the first year or so was almost unbearable... at some point I had convinced myself that I would have a much easier life going back to live with my mother (she's my biggest supporter and my best friend); BUT we had already invested so much into our lives together that I hated to just give up so I told him exactly what I was thinking... honestly, as much as we had argued and fought about him doing nothing and the fact that he could go play games at his friends whenever he wanted until 2 or 3 in the morning yet he would throw a fit if I so much as wanted to go to the grocery without the baby, when I told him that the thought of actually leaving had crossed my mind he was truely shocked and hurt and had never dreamt that me leaving was a possibility. Since then he has done a 180...I'm not going to say he's boyfriend of the year or anything but he has turned into an extremely involved father, we both get at least 1 night out babyfree a month and 1 night out babyfree a month together.... he helps around the house and even does most of these things witout me having to nag or beg...
I guess what I'm trying to say is that sometimes you need to make him realize that, while you love him dearly, you are not afraid to live without him if he can't learn to listen to you and compromise once in a while. It may or may not work for your man and I'd hate to be the reason that you split but if he can't respect the fact that you need him to pull some weight around the house and he gets angry that you even want him to then you guys have some serious issues to iron out beforeyou move further into your marriage. If all else fails drag him to a marriage counselor... he'll probably whine every step of the way but if he wants to save your marriage it can't hurt to try it. Counselors can teach you some pretty nifty communication techniques. I wish you all the best; let me know if you need any support!

Dear L.,
I agree with Chris. It may be time for a shock. I think praying is nice but you need more than that. His behavior is unacceptable. I don't care if he works. Being a stay at home parent is a very challenging job and you need help and support from him. Maybe staying at a friends house will give him a shock. But you might need to do more than that and stand up for yourself by giving him the baby and LEAVING for a few hours. Take time out of the house to yourself! You deserve it!
Good luck.