Does anyone else's husband get upset when things aren't just so at home? Like, if there are shoes on the floor? Or, if there is an outside bike that makes its way into the house by one of the kids? I end up hearing how I shouldn't let the kids do that. Just wondering if anyone else has a husband that can get moody over this kind of stuff? And, how do you best handle it?
Does he have OCD? If he does, that's hard for him because of his condition. If he doesn't, then he's being a jerk.
Sorry if that's blunt.
Dawn
How about when the kids bring their bikes in - ask him to handle it. Or pick up the shoes. You're not his slave - even if you are a SAHM. He can chip in too.
If my husband complains about something around the house not being "just so", he knows he will get an ear full from me about how he can take care of it him damn self if it bothers him. I am not a maid, and this is my home as well, so if I choose to let the kids bring in a bike, I will. IF he really has an issue with something the kids do than he can discuss it with me like an equal adult and we will find a compromise. He knows better than to complain about the house or the way I run it.
My husband does tend to get a little bit pissy when things are messy around the house. My answer every single time is for him to feel free to clean it up if it bothers him.
I usually remind him they are his children too and it is also his responsibility to teach them to take care of their things. I often don't get around to doing everything because I am not a superhuman. Not teaching kids to help by both parents sends a poor message to them, that only the mom cleans and takes care of everyone else, it teaches them to be lazy and uncaring, lack of empathy.
My husband does this kind of thing all day every day and I cannot tell you how bad it wears on my nerves! Of course you would never see him clean a darn thing up! I have recently begun telling him that if he doesnt like it he can fix it and if he is not willing to then he can shut up!
Nope, I'm that person in our relationship. My hubby couldn't care less the condition of the house and I find it incredibly annoying!
ummm...why is a bike coming IN the house?
I guess here, its both of us. I do home daycare, so my house needs to always be picked up enough for my job. Shoes and coats all have a place to be. Hubby, dd and I...ours go IN the closet and shut the door. Daycares go (shoes/boots) in the cubby shelves, and coats on the hooks behind the door to the garage..all of this in the entry. But if stuff is all ove the rest of the entry space (about 5ft X 10 ft), there is not enough room for parents to enter and get kids undone and done again at days end.
The common areas are always picked up...maybe a few tea glasses in the sink if the dishwasher is full or running. Counters are mostly cleaned off, and nothing laying about on floors. Its bad for business.
Its not a perfectly groomed, always spotless house. The vacuum might need running on the rugs, or the wood floors swept, but it never goes more than 2 days that way.
We both go bonkers and get pissy if it does. My teenagers room is a WHOLE 'nother story. Thats what doors are for. My clients and licensor does not need to see her space and it gets REALLY cleaned about 2X a month. Maybe.
Sorry, but bikes in the house already showed me we have different styles...and thats OK! To each his own!
We are both this way, so you gotta feel for our kids! lol We usually just ask that the shoes, candy wrappers, clothes, book bags, dirty dishes, etc. be picked up NOW!! We don't live in a pig sty, and no one in our family is being paid to be a maid, so everyone is responsible for their own messes, even the 4 year old, to a certain extent.
No, my husband steps over stuff and never notices it. HE throws his shoes down wherever on the floor....not just the kids! It drives me crazy. If he were single his house would be a pigsty. My friend's husband is like yours. He likes everything to be perfect and will get moody about it. She finally reaches a limit and will blow up at him...he's better for a while and then it starts all over again.
Consider reading the book, "don't sweat the small stuff, and its all small stuff". Recommend your husband read it as well. Two chapters come to mind, one is titled something like, what's more important, being right or being happy, the other is titled something like, if you can't remember whose turn it is to take out the trash, go ahead and take it out yourself.
Good luck to you and yours.
I don't know why a bike would be coming into the house! I would have a problem with that. I work long hours as does my husband. We have someone come in and clean the house once a week. The kids stuff is what pisses me off. I will wash clothes and fold them put them on the steps and tell them to take it upstairs. Our son will use the stairs as his closet!!! I'm about ready to throw his stuff out the door!!!
Well my first thought is, why the heck WOULD you allow a bicycle to be brought into the house? That is totally disrespectful to your home and the money it costs to decorate it and keep it up, and to the people that pay to have it look that way. I'd have a fit too, and so would my husband!!!! We have taught our kids to respect the things that we have in our house, as well as the time we take to go to work, to be able to have nice things. And our stuff has stayed nice too. So to answer your question, no we don't freak out if things aren't just so, but bikes inside - heck no. Shoes and backpacks and coats all over the place for a while - thats OK.
Unfortunately, my husband goes crazy over this kind of stuff. In his eyes, I never do enough. Last night he went really crazy and told me that I take advantage of him. I see the problem getting worse and worse and I fear what is around the corner. I don't know your husband but I don't think my husband thought that life would be this way after our daughter was born, so I think he is getting ready to end it all between us. It has my head spinning so I am just trying to cover my bases to take care of things if he chooses to go that way...
Nope. *I'm* the one that gets irritated by that kind of stuff. It's not like I have a huge meltdown about it, but I do let him know that I don't want our girls to think that sort of behavior is ok.
I know that sometimes things get overlooked. I usually remind them to put the shoes away/ hang up coats/ whatever. But I'm not going to be picking up after them all the time. My 2 yr old knows that we put one toy away before we go play with something else...I expect my husband to model that behavior as well. :)
You don't say how old your kids are, but if your husband has a problem with something the kids do, he should tell the kids...not you. He is just as responsible for raising the kids! You shouldn't be the only one enforcing rules.
