Husband and Cards for Kids

I don't think you are out of line, and I would definitely talk to him about it. I mean, did he ask you if you got them a card? That is like splitting mom and dad up, to me. No way.

I would be irritated too. I'll do you one better - my husband will get a card and candy, but only for his daughter and he signs it from him and not both of us. Apparently the three boys aren't deserving of a valentine from dad.

Our valentines as kids were from my dad only. My husband does it the same way. I dont think you should be upset. Daddy is their valentine, that is so special :)

My Father always gave all of us the Valentine Cards. He also gave each of us a valentine heart box full of chocolates.

We loved it. Made sense since we are all women.

I think you are taking all of this too hard. You just seem very stressed in this post and the school post.. Wondering what else is going on..

Take a step back and when the man asked what your husband was giving you for Valentines day, I would have answered. "This fabulous Dinner out at such a nice restaurant."

Give him some credit.. All you seem to speak about in these 2 posts are negative things.

Be nice, it's an innocent mistake. I think women are usually more thoughtful than men. not 100% of the time. Just 99% of the time.

Be kind, it's ok.

Last year on v-day, my hubby did his own gift for our daughters. Because he's the "man" in their lives, it was very sweet. He came home from work with a rose for each of them, and a balloon, and a small box of chocolates for each of them, and a big bouquet of flowers for me. I made chocolate covered strawberries for them. It was very sweet, and I hope they remember stuff like that when they're older. This year, my hubby is away for work, and so I did v day with the kids alone. My dad came to surprise us, with a carvel ice cream cake, and the kids were ecstatic about it. (Of course, I wish he'd told me in advance, since I made a little cake last night...but what can I do. I said nothing, just thanked him for being so sweet...)

I don't think I would have cared, but to each their own!

aren't you the same mom who is getting ready to go grapeape on the school for not letting your daughter hand out valentines?
i'm thinking there's something more going on with you, hon.
khairete
S.

I would have been thrilled if my husband bought the kids a card! I don't think he's EVER done that.
I do all the shopping, choosing, gift giving and wrapping for everyone in our family, and yes, I put "love mom and dad" on everything but the kids know that stuff is really from me, even if dad pays for it. I think they would LOVE to get something just from dad, something that he actually picked out.
I know you're having a bad day but try to appreciate his thoughtfulness, even if it isn't the way you would do it :)

Sorry, but I hate petty complaints within marriage. If ANYTHING should be done about them, it should involve YOU and HIM talking about it. You are hurt? TELL him. You two formed a UNION. Keep that union together, communicate, don't harbor bad feelings. All they do is grow, and then the one you are upset about is the one that gets all the thunder all of a sudden... when in fact, it wouldn't be nearly as much of a problem if you just took care of your feelings the same day they occurred.

I know divorces that got started with these things. Small time things turned to big time things whether it be from misunderstandings, pride, hurt feelings or jealousy, etc...

Trying to help, not insult.

LMAO, Mine tells me at 930 after kids are already in bed “did you give them their Valentines?” Me “what Valentines? “ DH “the ones in the target bag with your red vines” Me “No didn’t inspect the bag that well just put the whole thing in the coat closet” DH “well I figured since you saw the red vines you’d look through the bag” Really?! My thought was I didn’t buy it so why be noosey, Apparently I was suppose to magically know he actually bought our kids something too-Men Suck but we love them

Growing up the Valentine's Day cards and gifts were always just from my dad. I never understood it and always questioned it.

Today, Valentine's Day is just from my husband to the girls. Most years he does the shopping but I found it easier just to pick up a few things in my travels this year. I took no credit and don't expect any.

Don't feel hurt. You say it's been a long week so let it go (easier said than done when you're in that mood). I hope tomorrow is a brighter day!

You never will be able to figure a man out....don't try.

Meh.
Last year my husband (for the first time ever) decided to pick up a small box of chocolates (spongebob) for our daughter. Well, they weren't chocolates, they were crabby patty gummies, but whatever. Anyway. He tells me this, at night the day before Valentine's. He didn't get anything for our son (who is the older child). We'd never really done valentines for the kids, they always did them at school with their friends.

So I was like... what did you get A___ (our son)? So of course, I had to rush out and find something for him. Wasn't difficult, except that I couldn't get the SAME thing, and I needed to get something commensurate with what our daughter was getting, on short notice. Ugh. So THIS year, I asked him if he was wanting to get the kids something for VDay. He was like, sure, whatever you want to do. And I had to be very specific with him, because it is easier on me if we either do it together, or he just lets ME do it. Because if HE does it, he will only find one thing, and leave me to find the other after the fact. And that can get tricky.

I never got valentines from my parents. But I had 2 older brothers, so maybe by the time I came along and was old enough it just didn't occur to my Dad. Mom always got chocolates, though. I think it is sweet for Dad to give a valentine to his daughter(s). But if he's going to do that, Moms need to know to "do" for the sons also! LOL

I would be happy that hubby got something for both the kids. Never mind that it didn't have MY name on it. I think that would be GREAT! Why? Because I think kids know that moms are the ones who do "most" of the gift buying... and knowing that Dad did it all on his own means something to them, too. :)

.

I would talk to him about it since it bothers you. Often my DH does his own shopping. When I realized that he had no cards for the girls this time, I offered to share mine.

I think that he didn't bring you flowers and lied is a symptom of something else. Is it that he was thoughtless buying just for himself or that he was thoughtless in general? Sounds like maybe you need some TLC.

Hi, Mom:
There are a few issues that seem to be coming out
of your conversation.

Have you assessed what the core issues are?
It is okay to be hurt, angry, upset, devalued, etc.
It is okay to share that with your husband, but make
sure you know the core issues along with the core feelings
and then share them with him.

Just a thought.
Good luck.
Happy Valentine's day.
D.