if your 7 and 5 year olds snuck out the window into the fenced in yard to play instead of cleaning the room like they were supposed to?
they had drug out a tote full of toys and dumped it. they were supposed to put the stuff back in the tote. ( not a huge cleaning project.) its a first floor window with a shed roof nearly at the height of the sill and privacy fencing that they used as a ladder to get off the shed roof safely. (no screen for that one window because of a suction cup bird house in that window which i will be replacing the screen before dinner today) i made them come in immediately and finish cleaning, then took away electronics privileges and screen times for the week.
i didn't want to be to harsh but didn't want to just blow it off either. i am glad that most of you have similar reactions and that i didn't over react to the situation (which i tend to do)
thank you!
i will add that electronics and screen time is just about the only thing i can take away that they actually care about. we have tried spankings, timeouts and taking other privileges away but the electronics and screen time seems to be the only thing that corrects behaviors. so that is why i went with that one
I'm with Heidi M. That's a spanking offense. If you just talk about it or give them another room to clean, the lesson will NOT be learned and when they are 13, they WILL sneak out again, because who really cares if mom is going to talk to us or we have to sweep another room. It would be well worth doing if that were the only consequence.
I'd commend them for their ingenuity but then have a serious talk about the dangers of popping out screens or whatever else they did to get out, and discuss anything else like the shrubs they stepped on. I'd commend them for staying in the yard rather than taking off, but I'd stop way short of approving of their actions.
If they locked the door, I'd come down on that - it's totally unsafe for kids to be in a locked room (fire danger, etc.) and it leans much more in the direction of deceit and lying.
Then I'd have them clean the room and a second bonus room. I'd be firm and I wouldn't freak out. You have a lot of years of this kind of thing ahead of you, and it's important to manage the natural desire to play against any reward for deceiving you.
After I stopped laughing in private (come on, that is pretty funny and clever of them) I would have them come back inside, stand over them while they clean, and then assign additional chores to make up for the time I had to waste watching them. I'd present it as "because I can't trust you to clean by yourselves, I have to spend 30 minutes here watching you so now, you can also do some of my chores" (vacuum, dust, pull weeds, whatever). I would also then let them know that they now have to earn back your trust and won't be allowed time in their room - together or alone - until you feel that you can trust them again.
That's hilarious but pretty bold so you have to nip it in the bud immediately.
Reading your so what happened and no I don't think you over reacted. They not only didn't do as you asked they also put themselves in a potentially dangerous position. You did great.
Exactly what are they "cleaning"? If you mean straightening up clutter in, say, a playroom - I'd say, mom should declutter that room. I'm not saying throw away loved toys, I'm saying *put* them away somewhere not-accessible. If your 7 and 5 year old have that much clutter, *that* is a problem that mom has to handle. Tell them they can earn the toys back one by one (or two by two, for two children) by keeping their spaces neat.
On the other hand, if you were asking them to sweep the garage floor etc - just have them sweep an extra room.
ETA: I agree with stricter punishment if they did something dangerous. For example, if they climbed down the side of your house from the second floor - that's very dangerous, not just a "sweep an extra room" offense.
Diane B. Is so right!!!! You have so many years left. Forget the spanking and the grounding (Hello 1966!!). You kept the window uncovered, they didn't do anything crazy or act like Houdini. They stayed close, didn't run away, I would use it as a learning situation.
I think you did right by having them finish cleaning. I would have been scared that they could have gotten hurt so I would explain that they could have gotten hurt doing that then take their privileges away for the day. A week is too long at that age and they will not make the correlation. Also, spanking has been proven to be ineffective. I remember as a kid when my dad spanked me it did not affect me, however, when he took my privileges away....that hurt and I remembered it!!! I learned more from that. Spanking made me fear my dad. My mom definitely knew how to discipline creating the desired result. She gave us the moon but when we didn't listen she took privileges away and that hurt the worst! We listened to her after that!
From your description in your SWH, I'll bet your heart jumped when you realized what your kids did to get into the yard. I think I might have had a mini heart attack!
Please secure that window! Children do stupid stuff and they need to be safeguarded.
My kids did stuff at this age when my back was turned that curled my hair! Now they're grown and I wonder what their future kids will shock them with!
Been there!
My consequence is usually a time-out. I have an 8 year old and an 11 year old. Both tried this over the summer, and a time-out worked. I'm sure they will still try this again when they are trying to avoid something. Consequences usually serve as a good deterrent most of the time, but rarely do they completely fix the problem.
This is when you wish kids just like them on them...
And you know what is in store when they are teenagers....
Good luck with that...
They would be grounded.
