My soon to be husband (this tuesday!) just found out we're pregnant! :) However, His brother just lost his baby that was pre-mature and survived 2 months about 2 weeks ago :( We want to share our good news but feel like it's rubbing it in their faces a bit! If we tell them now it may be to soon to be excited in front of family and if we tell them too late they may be upset that we waited too long!! HELP!!! Any suggestions???
I have never been in this situation, but I would suggest waiting. Even waiting until your 3 months along isn't such a bad idea all on it's own, which I know is extremely hard to do. But this gives those who need time to grieve to begin that process, and I am sure others will understand why you waited under the circumstances!
My husband and I where in a similar situation. The day we planned on telling everyone happened to be the day my sister-in-law miscarried her twins. It was very hard on everyone in our family, we decided that it would be best if we sat down with them (my brother and her) and let them know first. One of the key things we did was not show too much excitment during this talk. We expressed how sorry we where for their loss first. Also I had a hard time with a previous pregnancy so we let them know that with all the trouble we both had that if there was anything that they felt compfortable helping with we would appriciate their help. I think by involving them more and them being the first to know they feel like they have a special place in our sons life. I also think that helped them to cope with their loss. After we told them we anounced it to our family about a week latter. Things went very well and I had all the help I could have ever asked for after too form them mostly.
Hi A.,
I would wait until you are in your 12th week or near it. The first trimester is the hardest, so they say, & that could be your reason. You didn't want to tell them until you were sure everything is OK. I don't want to plant THAT seed in your head, I've had two kids & all trimesters were just fine, the first was the same as the third, just different. Just a way to have a valid reason for NOT telling them & to give them some time to heal as well. Congratulations on your pregnancy. It's such an exciting time! Take great care of you, S.
When i became pregnant my sister in law had just had a miscarraige so what we did was we only told his parents and my parents and asked for them to keep it a secret until i was three months pregnant because i did not want to get my hopes up for this was also my second pregnancy four years after i had a miscarraige. All things worked out in the long run everyone understood why we did not want to tell anyone until i was three months. My sister in law became pregnant again and now our kids are three months apart. Hope this helps a little.
I would suggest telling them. If you wait too long they will feel that it was due to them. I would let them know that you are pregnant and maybe tell them in a special way. Even though it is difficult for them, they would still want to be included in your good news. I've had many friends in this situation. All of them have found telling is the best way. After telling everyone, when everyone is together, I would just try to find a way to try and keep too much focus off of the pregnancy until they feel comfortable.
Hope that helps. ps. the longer you wait, the more chance they will find out from someone else and then feel insulted that neither of you felt you could tell them.
