I'm just curious...how long do you wait before telling people you're pregnant? I've had a blighted ovum before (found out at 9 weeks, had a D&C at 12 weeks) and now I'm super paranoid. Since I had all the pregnancy symptoms, we were totally blind-sided with the news. It really skewed my perception of what is normal in the 1st trimester.
When the time comes, how long should I wait to make an announcement? My doctor's office doesn't do ultrasounds until 20 weeks, so waiting for a look-see is not an option.
I had an appointment at what we thought was 8 weeks and the Nurse Practitioner REFUSED to give me an ultrasound! I was shocked!!! I wish I had waited the extra two weeks to see my doctor.
I saw my doctor 4 weeks later and explained that I wasn't sure of my dates (I wasn't planning on getting pregnant right now and wasn't keeping track) and was super paranoid, so he sent me to the ultrasound tech and found out we were 4 weeks earlier than we thought, so I was actually 8 weeks then, and not 12. Ugh.
Since I saw the heart beating, I didn't wait to tell people. Hopefully, I won't regret it later. While this pregnancy is a surprise, I am soooo excited!!!!
I think we waited until 14 weeks or so. We're both pretty private people. It was the first grandchild on both sides so the grandparents were very excited. I swear my MIL told everyone she knew within minutes of us telling her she was going to be a grandma. If we had told them earlier and something happened, I wouldn't want to have all those people knowing what was going on.
I had a miscarriage and D&C with my first pregnancy at 11 weeks after having told everyone I was pregnant. It was difficult to then tell everyone I wasn't any longer. With my subsequent pregnancies I told people I would open up to and turn to for support if I had another miscarriage about the pregnancy after about a week and thankfully I had two healthy children...everyone else I waited until I had an ultrasound at about 9 weeks and just prayed and trusted in God that all would be well.
After my two pregnancies with my two children I had found out I was pregnant and then a few days later wasn't any longer but hadn't told anyone which was actually almost more difficult not having anyone but my husband to talk to about it. So when I became pregnant with my current baby (I'm 25 weeks along), I told my family right away so that I'd have the support I'd need if the pregnancy didn't go to term...and again, I'm blessed with another healthy baby so far...all looks well!
So I suppose what it comes down to is who you want to celebrate the news with, who you'd appreciate turning to if need be. But it is all up to you as everyone is different and reacts in their own unique way. I wish you all the best and am sorry for your loss. I pray you are blessed with another healthy baby in your future!
Next time you are pregnant, see if you can get an early u/s...like at 7 weeks...once you see the beating heart it is pretty rare that there are problems. And then, perhaps tell close friends and family and then when farther along (or showing) tell your second ring of friends.
The pregnancy after my miscarriage I was able to receive several early u/s due to previous miscarriage, age etc. Just ask for it.
We told our close friends after eight weeks and everyone else around 16 or so (with the exception of my mother in law). With our third I opted to save myself the torture of her constant criticism and told her on Thanksgiving. (I was due Dec 22) I guess it just depends on who you want to know. I would say 12-16 weeks just to be in the clear.
I have had one child die at 31 weeks after conception and one at 14 weeks. We look at it as all babies are gifts and deserve to be celebrated even if they don't live to take their first breath. I am currently pregnant. We were able to have an early ultrasound because of the death of the other babies. I told my parents right away. I also told a few friends who helped us during the death of our babies. We didn't tell our other children right away because they would worry to much and we didn't want my in-laws to know. They would be worried and they don't always show their worry in appropriate ways.
When I told my Mom I was pregnant with this baby she said it was hard to be excited because she was so worried this baby would also die. I explained that all babies are gifts and deserve to be celebrated. If one of my other children were to die today, then I wouldn't just stop celebrating their life. All my children are named, special, and loved. Each morning I wake and thank God that I am still pregnant. This baby is due Valentines Day and I am sure I will hold my breath every step of the way but no matter what the outcome is, I am thankful to be the mother of this baby.
We told everyone as soon as we found out (8 weeks and 7 weeks). A lot of people wait to tell in case of miscarriage. We did have a miscarriage on our second one and were so glad we told people. That way, we had support from our friends and family which did wonders for healing. It also made the baby feel more like a baby and less of a thing that just happened and went away. With that said, for our next pregnancy we are still planning on telling around the same time since the support was such a needed thing. Good luck with this pregnancy. I'm sure you'll make the right decision on when to tell.
With family, we told everyone as soon as we found out, which was around the 6-8 week park. Everyone else...we told after 12 weeks.
I had an ectopic pregnancy once and I told EVERYONE right away. I wished I hadn't because I felt burdened about how much people bothered me about the pregnancy and having to explain over and over and over again to people was harder on my healing.
My brother and his wife also had a bad experience with the loss of a baby that they told everyone about early on in the pregnancy. He also mentioned to me that he wish he hadn't told anyone but family about his situation.
I think this is why people wait...for the "just in case" situation.
I also had a blighted ovum and D&C at 12 weeks. In my second pregancy, because of my prior miscarraige... I had an ultrasound at 8 weeks. I was so nervous I had it earlier at 7 weeks. You could ask your Dr if it is an option for you. In my case, this was ordered by my Dr. That being said, I waited and told everyone at 12 weeks. (By that time we knew we were having twins and I had needed two more ultrasounds...)
Let me start by saying, I have a big mouth... I waited until about 11 weeks to tell my real close friends (I wanted to wait until 14). :) I told my coworkers at 12 weeks. If I get pregnant again I'll probably wait until 20 weeks, but that's mostly b/c I think it would be fun to just announce, "I'm having a girl!"
That being said, I say it's okay to tell anyone that you are close to whenever you are comfortable! Even if something "bad" were to happen, more than likely you have friends and/or family you'd like to talk to about it. They are there for support. So, I say just go with what feels right.
I didn't find out with my first child until I was 8 weeks and we told everyone. When I got pregnant again, we did the same and miscarried at 11 weeks. It was difficult having to tell people that we had miscarried when they asked how things were going.
When we got pregnant again we did tell our immediate family and our closest friends. I figured that if I miscarried again, those people would find out. I did miscarry and was glad I hadn't told everyone.
When we got pregnant the 4th time we waited until about 13-14 weeks to spill the beans to everyone but did tell my immediate family and closest friends when we found out.
I waited until 12 weeks with my daughter, but did not tell the girls at work until I was 20 weeks. (AHHHHH)..... We announced it at 18 weeks with my son -1st pregnancy-. You usually get a heart beat with the doptone at the 10 week visit, so once you get that, then I think you are good to go.
Now I am different then some. I do not say anything because if I were to have miscarried, I do not want the "I'm sorry" speech, I just want to move on; whereas I know women that say, "but if I were to miscarry I would want the sympathy from others". So I guess this is your deciding factor. "If something were to happen because something was not right; do you want people to ask then say they were sorry or are you a more private person and want to keep it to yourself." BTW I am quiet at work because I do not want to be one that the staff goes oh great she tells time she pees on the stick. This is going to be a loooooong pregnancy...... ((((HUGS)))).
I told my Mom right away within the first few weeks of being pregnant but miscarried but when I got pregnant the next two times I told within a few weeks of being pregnant. Typically they say to wait 12 weeks when the risk of miscarriage is lower. Do what you think. It did stink having to tell people I had miscarried.
I agree with Kristia S. I told people early and had 2 miscarriages. The support helped with the healing for me too. Depends if you are a very private person or not.If you tend to keep a lot to yourselves, then you may not want to deal with all the questions etc. should something happen. If you're one who opens up to people and needs to vent about problems, then it could be beneficial to have others who know and you can talk to if something should happen. Hope it helps!
I told my immediate family and BFF as soon as I found out, but next time I'll wait a little longer. I told everyone else at 12 weeks.
