How to Teach Sharing..

Typically, children are too immature to share until they are 4 yrs of age or so. Begin modeling the behavior you want your children to have. Share with them, and say, 'Mommy is sharing her cookie with you' etc. Also, begin instructing them on it. Instead of watching for what your daughter will do, just say 'sister, you get 3 grapes and brother gets 3 grapes.' Letting her divide them is a little math lesson too. :)

It is always good to just try to encourage sharing gently, as I believe it should be their decision to share something (especially their candy lol). My oldest son (age 6) is the "sharer" and youngest son (just turned 4) not so much but I will explain to the youngest that if he does not share then people may not want to share with him when he wants something of theirs.
One thing I did try which worked really well but this was for toys. I watched my friend's little girl for a while and she was adorable but would bring some of her toys and would not want to share them. One day I told her she did not have to share her toys but until she chose to share her toys she could only play with her toys. Each time she tried to pick up one of my sons toys I gently told her no and that she needed to play with her own toys which she would not share with anyone else. It really didn't take her long to get the concept I was trying to teach her and from then on she willingly shared with my boys. I had to do this maybe two or three times over a period of time just as a reminder when she forgot about the sharing rule. I have done a similar thing with my sons on occasions to teach sharing.
I have actually told my older son not to share with the younger son when the younger son is refusing to share.
I think you just have to make your daughter realise how it can make someone feel not to have something shared with her. Some kids get this quicker than others and some are just naturally more generous than others.
It's a tough one Lisa, good luck. ;)

hi--I make sure I model the behavior myself. line up a bunch of stuffed animals, and pretend share with them. Have them use feelings to describe how they feel when they get "shared with" or get left out. It takes a lot of repetition. and remember all kids are different, so what is easy with one, may not be easy with another.

Toddlers often have a hard time giving up things. Putting some aside just for her and having her share a limited portion or certain toys might make her feel more secure. Being the oldest, she might feel like she has nothing she can count on as being just for her at this immature stage.

go to my blog www.shapinglittlesouls.blogspot.com
I recently wrote a little story for my 3.5 year old and two year old about this. It has brought our family much peace. They actually do it!
The term we use is..."Peacemaker."
It goes something like this.
Screaming...
G: I want it.
Mom: Did you ask her for it?
G: no.
Mom: Try asking for it - our rule is NO GRABING.
G: A, may I have a turn?
A: Can say not right now or yes you may.
G: Okay, I will wait until you are done (and find something else to do or THANK YOU A! You are peacemaker!

THey feel so good when I tell them they are a peacemaker.
They have also been trained to ask if they would like to trade. It is so funny to hear my almost two year old ask to trade. But it seems to work well.
I think the key it for you to be patient and coach them to talk it through. Life is full of negotiating and being patient until there is an agreement.

Check out the blog for a printable booklet that you can read to them!

YOu can certainly model it, but I also think it's an age thing.. 2 is not going to share as well as 3.

I think that as long as you keep demonstrating it and praising it when it does happen, they will get it. My boys 2.5 and 5, will always think of their brother if they are being given a treat. However if one grabs a lego (out of a sea of them, mind you) the other will swear up and down that it's the one they were about to grab.

It will come, just model it when you can and praise praise praise.