How to Move Out of State with Children?

These websites might be helpful.

Cost of living comparison in different states - www.bestplaces.net

Comparing private schools - www.greatschools.com

FInding employment - www.careerbuilder.com

Finding real Estate - www.trulia.com

Hope those helps

You really should have a plan before you put your house on the market. First you need to find jobs because that is the variable you have the least amount of control on and it is the most important.

You can always rent a cheap apartment waiting to sell your home but you can't just find a job because your house sold.
___________________________
Why do you have to be like that with your edit? No one criticized you we just pointed out jobs are more important than housing. You are the one who said you were keeping your jobs until you leave which indicates then you would look for a job. You were the one who asked for help making a plan which would indicate the only part of the plan you have is selling your home and moving. You are not a banker, you are a teller, huge difference in income so you will not be able to support your family for long so I stand by job first then find where around the job is best for your family.

People are trying to help with the information you gave, don't be rude and accuse them of being critical.

You mention, "I can transfer with my job" but have you actually applied for a transfer within your company yet? If not, and that's your plan-- staying with your current bank chain and transferring -- I think you truly need to get that ball rolling immediately if you already have your house on the market. Yes, the housing market may have slow sales in your area, but all it takes is one buyer who is suddenly very interested in your house and you may find the realtor is breathing down your neck and talking about your moving out within weeks, not months. If you don't know where you're going, you will be so very stressed if that happens, and it could.

When you apply for this transfer, ask the bank about moving assistance programs. Some employers have offices that help employees who are being transferred. They can help you find a new home at the new location -- exactly what you need, right? But you can't take advantage of that until you are officially and formally going to be transferred, so you need to get that going on paper, not just assuming you'll do it when the time comes.

Where is your husband in all this? You mention him in passing but never say if his job has transfer possibilities; if it does, you and he will have to coordinate to find a location where both his company and yours have available jobs. I would not assume "I'll just transfer" with your current employer; you may find that transfers aren't as simple as they seem. It's fine if you want to move for climate, but the jobs trump everything.

As for "we can't [go?] traveling around...if we plan on keeping our jobs until we figure out what to do..." Narrow down your list and then you must travel to see these places! One of the worst mistakes people can make is to move to a place they haven't seen or have barely seen on a vacation. I am a writer and I did a newspaper feature a few years back about retirees, and experts said that the single biggest mistake retirees or other folks can make is moving to a place without doing a lot of in-person research there, on site. Sorry, but you or your husband or preferably your whole family needs to see any potential new location. It could look great online and in reality have terrible traffic that means the commute to work or school that looks short on a map is actually long and frustrating. It could have great weather but so many tourists that you would never enjoy the local beaches or parks yourselves. It could seem perfect until you get there and find that the schools that look wonderful on their web sites are actually run down and the surrounding areas make you feel unsafe. On the other hand, places that you're not sure about from research could end up being terrific when you actually see them. Truly, you need to visit, and your visits need to have some serious planning put into them so they are not a waste of time and money.

I know you are looking for "advice, not criticism" so I hope you can see the above as advice. But it is worrying to think of someone moving with no real destination in mind, no plans to visit potential destinations, and no job plans in place other than an assumption that "I can transfer with my job" which may happen -- or may not.

I don't think that selling your home before anything else is a mistake.
You can rent a home/apartment anywhere.
Your assets are free'd up/liquidated and you can move/buy without waiting for your house to sell if it's already done.
You DO need to go where the jobs are.
Bankjobs.com will help you find them in the areas you are researching.
I've lived in Northern Virginia (for 17 years) - the traffic is a nightmare - I would not want to live there again.
You might like Richmond.
The Raleigh–Durham–Chapel Hill triangle area of NC is nice.
Florida's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there.
The bugs get too big for my liking and it's a little too warm/humid for me.
While it's true you won't spend too much in heating, you'll make up for it by spending in air conditioning.

You listed your home for sale before you even have a plan?

You need find a job in the area to which you want to move, then look for a place to live. Once you have that, you pack up and move. I'd recommend, since it sounds like you don't *have* to move, that you wait until the summer so you don't move in the middle of the school year. Make sure wherever you want to move has a good economy and housing market, or at the very least that your job will be secure once you get there.

Good luck!

Here's an article about 'The 10 Cheapest U.S Cities To Live In' and they all look to be within your search area! :)

http://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/real-estate/T006-S001-...

hope you don't pack and move without a plan. i agree with nj being crazy expensive. we just left long island, so long suckers an 12k+ in in taxes with a crappy school district, and tuition for private school. hello SC, homes even more expensive than in NY, schools still crappy so hello tuition for private school ('cept now double the amount of what i was paying in ny), but yes lower taxes 2k. great decision? probably, at least w get warmer weather. as for rest, we shall see.

You should take a look at Texas. The economy is booming down there. You will get some amazing bang for your buck- And its warm!

Otherwise just ask really specific searches in google-there is so much information out there. Stuff like Top Cities for Families in the South, Top Cities for Education in the South, etc. I was able to find several great links on searches like that.

Ok, I am going to come down on the other side of what the Moms have been saying. Homes are takinig a LONG time to sell right now, at least MOST of the time. I think you probably have some time to make a plan, BUT it will require some real work. If you are interested in Florida, plan a trip to look around at the area. Trust me, counties in Florida can vary a lot from one to the other, so what looks like an amazing place to live may have the worst schools and you may wish like heck that you never lived there. I would actually suggest RENTING a place, even a short term lease for 6 months or so, to make sure that you like everything about the area once you move and BEFORE you buy. I'm not sure how old your kids are, but I don't think that moving will be an issue for them. Kids are resilient, and will end up happy almost wherever you go. It makes a move more complex when you have kids, but it isn't as hard as you may think. Look at the jobs that are available where you want to move to, and start sending out resumes. Once you decide on a possible area, do some research on that area as far as crime, schools, home costs, and jobs.
My husband and I made our big move to Florida over 11 years ago. We moved with 2 kids, one in elementary school and one in middle school. We rented a home for 6 months, and paid for the term of that lease up front since we didn't have jobs yet. We discovered once there that the island paradise we loved as a place to live was not a great place for our kids for school. The island only had an elementary school, so the older kids were "bussed" off of the beach, and ended up going to a school in a less desireable area. My daughter was scared almost daily, and it was a huge difference from where we had moved. We ended up looking in a different area after we moved there, one with better schools, and made sure the schools didn't have the issues that the other one did. We have been here for over 10 years (in the home we purchased) and love it. Our kids love it here too. I wish that we had been able to take a trip here, not just to the place we had originally looked, because in the end we would have been able to skip that 6 months all together. Just make sure that you really research things. You can always stay where you are and rent until you have a good plan for the move. Good luck! Oh yeah, I would also post some questions on here once you do decide on an area. These Moms are very smart and can give great advice on an area once you have some that are possibilities. Nobody knows neighborhoods and schools better than a group of Moms!! Good luck!

i'm not sure what to do with this.
you start off by saying it's silly (yes) and that you want advice, not criticism (who doesn't?) then at the end you agree that you can't write out all the details that would be critical to making such an important decision.
so........
what CAN one offer you?
yes, florida is nice and warm.
taxes are high in VA and the winters are cold, at least in the northern part.
NC and SC are nice.
why do you need a good school system if you use private schools?
yes, if you want to move in a scant 4 months, you'll have to travel around. you can't make a good decision about moving somewhere unless you've visited it.
my personal experience is that western MD is very nice. you should move here. so is bermuda. AND it's warm! move there.
khairete
S.

I moved several years ago across the country with my DH and 2 very young children. I needed to have a job, and sell a house, to make the move happen. Here's what we did:

First, we visited the area we wanted to move to. I set up job interviews in that area to coincide with my visit. Also put the house on the market at that time.

Second, we went on our visit, went to my job interviews. Looked into tempoary housing situations. (rentals - could not buy until we sold.) Planned for repeat trips until I found a job.

Third, I got lucky and landed one of the jobs from our first trip 2 weeks later. I needed to start in 2 weeks, so I gave my notice, packed up the SUV with 2 young kids, 2 dogs, a rabbit, and as much of our personal stuff as it would hold. Drove across country in 3 days (that's a whole other post!) and started my new job on Tuesday morning.

DH stayed behind until the house sold, which only took 2 months because the market was red-hot at the time. He packed the house up into a shipping container, gave his notice at work, and moved up here a week or so before closing. Fortunately, with the sale of the house pending and my new job, he didn't need a new job right away. Unfotunately, the day before closing our sale fell through. But we found another buyer right away and got it sold in a month.

The hardest part about it? DH finding a new job. He was/is a professional in a very rare industry. It's taken quite a few years for him to build back up to where he was at. I wish I had thought that through better. Had I, we'd likely have never moved.

So think it through. There will be taxes everywhere you go. We thought we'd save alot of money moving to WI, but the taxes, property taxes, and lots of other issues more than made up for the cheap housing we found.

How long is it taking on average for homes like yours in your area to sale? Probably awhile if it's like most spots. So it's probably good to get it listed and sold - you can always rent. And when you move to your new location you SHOULD rent until you know the area better and can select what neighborhood you want. Some how you need to narrow down your choices to a handful of places with good school districts, living conditions etc and then start applying for jobs. Do you have enough savings so that you could move and still cover your current mortgage until it sales??? Definetly don't move before at least one of you has secured a job in the new location.
If it were me, I'd start with VA!

Jackonville, FL should grow robustly in the near future. They just opened a new port that should already be drawing jobs and buisnesses to the area. My husband's cousin and his family moved there (from Iraq) and love it there.

I'd also check out the Charleston area. A friend of mine moved there to be near his wife's family, and I drool over their ability to wear a t-shirt to the zoo in January ;-) They have a lovely home which he says was very reasonably priced. I don't know about the schools.

My best friend just moved last June, from here in Orange County, CA to Frisco Texas. They had visited at least 3 times before they moved there, checked out all the areas they liked and looked at homes in those areas before they moved. In addition, my best friend is a nurse, so she started putting out resumes before they moved, so that she had a job when they got there. Her husband, who is a plumber and sold his business to us, is now contracting with Home Depot, but still doesn't have steady work. Their kids are not in elementary school yet, however they did make sure the area they moved in had good public schools. their house sold much quicker than expected and they had to be out within 45 days. I would advise you to make sure you know the area you want to be in, visit it at least 2 times before you move their during different seasons, and make sure you plan for the unexpected. A move to different city is hard, let alone a state you know nothing about. Do some research and visiting and good luck!

If it were me (and I totally recognize that you're you, not me), I would be thinking about other climates, not just the weather.

If you have the option to transfer to other offices within your company, what are the cultures there like? Would you enjoy working there? Would they be happy to have you? Does that particular office offer good future prospects? (I don't know what branch of banking you work in, but in some, the local economy is a factor in your own success and stability, no? If that applies for you, you might want to rethink Florida just a bit, since it was hit so hard in the recession.)

And, what's the cultural climate like in the various towns you're considering? Here in Jersey (as you well know), just about everything is an hour's drive from one city or another, but that doesn't mean that Trenton is the same as Princeton. I personally have a very strong attachment to college towns. I don't necessarily need to work for a university, but culturally, I need to live near one. What's your cultural equivalent? Does every state have it?

Finally, if your kids are going abroad over the summer, they must be older, right? How do they feel about moving? What about giving them a vote?

Florida really isn't that bad depending where you are trying to go. I live just south of Jacksonville and houses are reasonably priced and jobs are plentiful in Jax/st augistine areas. There is no State tax on your pay check and property taxes are kinda low. We used to live in SC too in two different counties. State tax is high, property tax is high and they tax food at the grocery store too!! Most of the schools where we lived were failing or over populated. We were fortunate to have the military pay for our move since we were getting out but we still had to have $$ up front and wait to get it back.

Moving anywhere is stressful even if it is within the same state. If you think that selling your house would take too long, think about renting it while you rent a place where you'd like to live. We rented for about 6 months to make sure we liked the town we were in before we bought a house.

If you'd like to know more about the area I live in in FL and the surrounding, please feel free to PM me.

S.

Just left the Bluffton / Hilton Head Island area (SC) and loved the beauty, the very mild climate (warm but not TOO hot, chilly but not TOO cold), the beach. It's 20-30 minutes from Savannah and 2 hours from Charleston. Pretty laid back. The school my son went to is awesome (Bluffton Elementary) but if you wanted private there are a lot to choose from. Seriously, I'm a picky cow and I loved everything about that school though---amazing what they had the kids doing! We moved (job transfer) to a nationally award winning school in an award winning district, but it provides much less choices for my son's age group.
The Raleigh-Durham area of NC is very nice too.

We almost moved to the research triangle area in NC. It was really nice. A bit too "mcmansion" after a while vs what I'm used to and I've heard that it's grown so much in Cary that you can live across the street from a school but have to go somewhere much further. But it seemed a nice mix of northeast and the warmer climate, cheaper cost of living. Definitely worth checking out. As well, I hear wonderful things about Charlottesville, VA.