Please Help Need Advice - Yonkers,NY

pack up and go....

BTW: don't you have 4 other similar posts about pretty much the same thin'?

Good luck

Go somewhere where the cost of living is reasonable. Seriously-if you have never researched this spend a little time doing it. you will be shocked at what you can get for the money elsewhere in the country.

I say get an apartment where you are now, until you can figure out where to go, line up jobs there, find an apartment there and then move when you are prepared. If your house is expensive your not going to be able to save to move, and I would not hop in a car and aimlessly drive like some renegades.

You also have to sit down with your wife and come to an agreement on moving or not. If you go and you are not happy about it - the resentment will build until your relationship is destroyed. If you stay - she will resent you till your relationship is destroyed. You have to come to an agreement and both be happy with it.

move-the cost of living is better down south-and the climate is better-and the people are really nice-good luck!

So... you are nervous about moving out of state. I'm nervous about moving out of my state (or area) as well. There's a difference between being nervous of the adventure and unknown and absolutely hating the new area. Your house is expensive and you're on a one income household right now. You should still sell and either rent or stay at a hotel. It's tough but tough times calls for tough measures. As for the wife, agree with other posters that say, make sure you guys talk about what really is the root of the issue. Financially, you can't afford an expensive house. If her unhappiness stems from thinking of both your future and retirement, I'd say your future together trumps "nervous about moving away". If her reason is not about future needs then whatever her reason is, it's equal to yours (because you both matter) so at that point, you two discuss it.

Look for a home and imagine yourselves in it. That helps you determine if you can hype yourself up for it. Read up on areas and by all means, ask mamapedia people for the lowdown on good neighborhood/bad neighborhoods and other tidbits of living down south that the brochures never tell you. Good luck!

Please before jumping check on umemployment rates, cost of living, and what the states economic status is. If your wife is unhappy, why is she unhappy find this out as well. Because moving may not resolve her sadness or frustration but enhance it. No matter what unless one of you has medical problems wherever you land at least ine needs to have a solid job and the other working in the pursuit 40 hours a week. If money or lack of is the source of the need to leave running unemployed will not create anything more than more stress and unhappy feelings. If she is running because of bad relationships or mistakes once again you can run but not hide from it.

You have written the same question 4-5 times. You have gotten a lot of good advice, but you have failed to follow up on any of it. You want to stay where you are and go on in life as though nothing has changed. Well ----- Life changed and you need to go with that change or you can keep spinning in circles not making a decision. I know it's scary. You are comfortable where you are and uncomfortable with the thought of leaving. You have done a job search where you are and have been unsuccessful. I hate to be the one to tell you this but this is how successful people become homeless. They lose a job, sell the house and then spin in circles of indecision.
Get online, start a job search, post your resume, follow up, find a job. You may need to move to an area you know nothing about. Okay uncomfortable or adventure, the decision is yours.
If you keep spinning you end up at the end of your unemployment, end of your savings and hitting the age ceiling. No matter how qualified you are the age ceiling is there, a lot of companies are afraid of investing time and money into an employee who will retire in less than 10 yrs.
It's time to take action. So do it.

I may be confusing you with someone else but haven't you asked a similar question recently? I think the last time you were also taking into consideration your grown children - glad to see that you're now focused on just you and your wife. Anyway, my advice to you still stands - do a month-to-month rental for now, where you live and where your wife still has a job. Absolutely go through with the sale of the house, that's a no-brainer. Then plan a move somewhere south later when at least one if not both of you has a job. You can rent wherever you move to and if, after a year, you both like where you are and your jobs seem stable, then you can consider buying another place. Make sure you don't spend down the proceeds of the sale of your house as you want to roll whatever equity you have into another house later so that by the time you retire, you'll have no mortgage.

Just break it down into small steps and do one thing at a time.

Find a rental where you are so that you have someplace to move to at the end of this month.

The find jobs in a warmer climate, then move.

Pack up n go!,, I am with your wife. I would head to Austin, Texas. Great job opportunities, housing much les and a great, fun city.

What do you did you used to do for a living? What does your wife do? I think we PMed before. Cost of living is cheaper here in the Raleigh/Triangle area, and finding affordable house isn't an issue. This is why this is a go-to place for many people seeking to relocate.
Besides, you know what they say "Happy wife, happy life". :)

I'd get an apartment to give myself a little time to figure everything out. I wouldn't count on being able to sell the house again.

You could both start a job search in an area you agree on via internet. Submit a cover letter with your resume giving dates you will be in the area for interviews and try to get some scheduled.

I don't think it's a good idea for both of you to be unemployed - the job market is tight and if you don't get something right away, it could be disastrous.

I can identify with your wife. There was a time when I was "sick of the area" and didn't like all the changes and corruption and people. Guess what? I'm still here. Why? Figured out I don't really have it so bad here after all, just need to concentrate on a little patience. I also discovered that happiness really does come from within. Saw my friends move to "Jersey" for better jobs. A few years later, saw them get laid-off perinantly and have to hunt for another job. (Not my idea of fun to be constantly moving around.) Saw some relatives move south and get really nice homes with low taxes for "peanuts." Saw them come back up here and go back down again, because they are never satisfied. Why? No place is perfect. In the paper there was someone, who moved to Florida only to wind up in a body bag. (Not saying it happens all the time,but hey, crime is every where.) Also, you've got to think about what would make you happy. Compromising is part of having a happy marriage. Rule one is to never move unless you have a job. No money=can't pay rent/mortgage=eviction/foreclosure. Ok, so you think you can pay cash when you sell your home for a cheaper one in the south. Sure that's no problem, but what are you going to do when the money runs out and you can't pay the taxes or for food? Have you considered looking and applying for a job in the state you live, but just in a different area of the state? Each town/city/area in a state is completely different in terms of population, hospitality, educaiton, etc. Even weather can differ drastically within a state. If you're in PA, it's a big state.

So back to me. Why am I no longer "sick of the area?" I found a house I really love and I really love lots of room and peacefulness. It's my "get away." I realized too that all I really need is food, shelter, water, freedom, and love. It's that simple. Yes it's true, "tis a gift to be simple." DH is learning that too. Sometimes you want something, then discover once you get it, it's not that great after all. So here we are, not really making a ton of money like people commuting, complaining about high taxes, and enjoying the view. If you haven't guessed....I'm 50.

MJ

If you are unemployed and were able to sell your home and get money back? I would move.

If you are unemployed and have been unable to find work in your current location, i would move to an area that IS hiring.

Did you know that you can stay in an extended stay hotel while you SEARCH for jobs in the other locations?

You BOTH need to be happy and there has to be a compromise somewhere. Unfortunately, you don't have a lot of bargaining chips without having a job. If she is unemployed as well - then i would strongly suggest you two sit down and COMMUNICATE your goals - where you can get employment and what to do from here.

You want to stay - WHY? What's there for you?
She wants to leave - WHY? What's in FL, VA, NC OR SC for either of you?
Is there a support system in ANY of these locations (family? Friends?)
Can EITHER of you find employment in ANY of the chosen locations?

Lots of questions to talk about with your wife.

GOOD LUCK!!

Why don't you move, get established and then come and get your wife--have an extension on the house for 6 months til you get a new place, job etc. then have wife move. Problem solved :)

I just wanted to address the part about not moving out until you find suitable housing. The timing of that stuff dosn't always work out. If the house is already under contract you can put your stuff in storage and sublet or find a month to month in a small apartment until you find something more permanent.