How to Keep Your Sanity

Oh honey, I haven't met a mom yet that hasn't lost her marbles. Ha ha

It's okay. You find your "new sanity". Your I'll-take-this-but-leave-this attitude. And THAT IS OKAY!

Do what you can, when you can.

Take "your breaks". Fit them in whether they are at 5am or 11pm.

Do "2 nice things for yourself a day". Whether it's a mocha, a walk, a trip to the gym or a magazine (budget permitting).

Every once in a blue moon, I take a nap or rest when my baby does. I need that once in awhile.

I talk to my friends. Thank God for them.

I'll watch the comedy channel for a few mins to take in a few laughs. Do it.
Know you rock, you can do it and you need a few small breaks too here and there. Like they say on the airlines, "you with children, secure your own oxygen mask first before that of your child's". That's so you can be sane and help! Take care of you!

I like to have a good scream when I'm in the car by myself. A good cry in the shower is always a good option too. And don't forget the chocolate and the Ben and Jerry's!

ETA: Oh, and at the end of the day make a "what I DID Today" list-- it probably won't match the "to do" list you started your day with, but it'll probably be FULL and give you a nice sense of accomplishment to drift off to sleep with!

Is this a financial question?

If the bills are mounting up and the wolf is at the door, remember to keep your family fed, lights on, and a roof over their head. The work from there. Negotiate the balances on bills that you question (financial aid from PP?), pay the minimums on all else. Just do the best you can do.

As for the 2 steps back feeling--WRITE down a specific goal and post it on the fridge. Celebrate when you achieve it. Start small.

Hang in there.

Much more information required to give constructive advice/comments.

Blessings....

I am right there with you. We are having medical/major financial/major vehicle problems and I don't know how much more we can take without breaking, we are seriously going to have to go to the food bank.

All I know, is that it eventually gets better, so keep hanging in there and have a good support system. And pray.

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If your son has major medical issues you are experiencing a stress like no other. The only positive thing is that most pediatricians know of good support groups and support services for parents who are dealing with acute or long term severe illness. Ask. You deserve some help but in this case everyone will think you are the rock until you crack.

You can't afford to crack because too many people depend on you. So you need to take care of you. Ask for help. If you don't get the answers you needs keep asking until you do. Advocate for yourself as thoroughly as you would for your sick child. You matter to your family but you need to take care of you too.

Hugs!

My mind has been gone for years. I only hope it comes back after my kids are gone. I feel like going out the front door and screaming at the top of my lungs sometimes because I am soooo stressed with my kids. Of course, I am not going to actually but I think it would feel good. During the summer time is when I am most stressed. I have one child who is not happy unless there is a trail of destruction left everywhere he goes and he cannot talk in a normal tone of voice, he apparently can only yell. The funny thing is, his teacher says he won't talk above a whisper in class. What???? My oldest has ADHD and is sometimes violent when he is bothered. My youngest for some reason has reverted back into the hold me stage. I feel like I am being smothered by my youngest (I don't like to be touched) and constantly breaking up fights with the oldest kid and wishing for earplugs and a bulldozer for my middle child. I wonder if the circus will ever end.

D.:

Nothing is really out of your control.

I realize there are medical conditions that hinder us. However, do as much research as possible and learn about the problem(s).

Financial? Don't hide from it. We had one mom on here who threw her bills away for a year and now they are biting her in the rear...even in low income you CAN take control of your finances...please visit the library and check out Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman. Read up on what they have to say. You CAN take control and stop worrying about it.

Yes. There will be a time when the steps you take will be forward moving steps. Those steps don't come all at once nor do they come without lessons and a learning experience - if you cannot learn from history - you are doomed to repeat it.

I say it time and time again - attitude is everything...if you are convinced it won't work or will suck - it will happen that way. How do I keep from losing my marbles?

I try not to sweat the small stuff and remember it's all small stuff.
We went cash only in 2006 and while it's not as fun as it was with credit cards (I can shop like a pro!! even hitting the sales racks!!) any way - I give my boys freedom to explore but boundaries they must stay within...

Please feel free to inbox me. I know you are scared about your sons hearing. We are both in the same boat. Nicky will be having surgery in November to correct the hole in his ear drum and we are working after that on corrective, if any, procedures to restore hearing...

In the words of Hawkeye Pierce of M*A*S*H* "Sanity is only a state of mind". :-))

I always say 'of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most". Don't worry about it; our parents can push our buttons becasue they installed the first ones, or spouse the next ones and our kids the last ones. The know where they are and when to push them.

take a deep breath, try to get some exercise - take your 5 yr old for a walk and get some fresh air. Pray - God does care about the details of your life. Talk to him and tell him your needs, your doubts, even if you doubt his existence - ask him to tell you that he's there and that he cares. Like i tell my teens and have been telling them since they were little - we can't change other people and what they do and say. We often cannot control the things that happen to us (some things we can control) we only have control of how we are going to handle things, respond to thinngs, etc. Some days we are better able to hande stuff than other days. There have been days that I've started my day in tears due to medical issues with family members, etc. There are days taht I lose my patience and wonder how I am going to handle stuff and my husband comes along side and encourages me - and there are days that I do the same for him.

There are times that it seems for every one step forward there are 2 steps back and so there's no realy positive momentum. But in all honestly, it's probably more like there are a few steps froward, then a set back with some baby steps in the right direction. dont' measure progress in days - measure it in months - I can say that with my child's chronic lifelong condition we are in a much better place now that we were in January - so we see the progress over the long run. But if we were to only measure it in days there'd be days I'd be out on the ledge!

I try to pray for my kids and family every day. I ask for protection from evil, for God's presence in front, behind, and on all sides. I pray that they would have wisdom & discernment. I ask for God's favor & blessings and that they would see God's hand in their life. then I leave it up to God. He's bigger than any problem I have - although there are days I have a tough time seeing that. Pray for eyes to see. ;o)