How to Help Kids Deal with a Death of Their Great-grandma??

Perhaps get a book from the library for him to read. Ask the librarian. There are several good books.

Perhaps he doesn't want to cry or show emotion. When one is emotionally sensitive and doesn't want to cry they often deal with it by getting angry. I suggest that you not try to talk about how he feels or ask him any questions. Perhaps not even talk with him about his Grandma. Let him come to you when he's ready.

Hi mom-

I am so very sorry to hear about your grandma (kiddo's great gram).

The very best child centered book on death I have seen is "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf" by Leo Buscaglia...It chronicles the life cycle of a leaf...is beautifully illustrated...and will leave the door open to any spiritual information that you want to share...or not.

I do not know what I would say about cremation...any deaths we have been touched by either the kids were too young to ask...or were older, so explanations were 'easier' in a way.

Healing Thoughts sent your way!
Michele/cat

Be open, honest and compassionate. I'm a Christian so my faith and explaining what I believe will definitely come into play. We would pray and talk. That talk would be about how we are feeling and how we can appropriately express how we are feeling.

Let his teachers and principal at school know what is happening.

As long as Great-Grandma is here perhaps you can take him to visit her. He would be able to tell her how much he loves her and what he did with his day, etc. My children trust me because I have never lied to them and have always kept an open and honest relationship with them.

My 3 and 5 year old know about death and such, they know it's natural, that we age and get sick and die. They are very curious about it, and actually understand it better than I thought they would. My father died before my children were born, so they grew up knowing their grandpa was not living on the Earth, but alive in spirit with God. It's often a blessing releasing us from pain so that we can return to live with our families and friends who have already passed on. As for cremation, just tell him it's a form of 'burial' that has done for a very long time. Some people keep the remains, others release them in special places. It's just the shell of her body, not actually her.

I think children need to know about life and death both and you should be honest and open about it. I don't know if you are a Christian or not but I think that helps so much to be able to explain being with God after death. There are two books that you might like to read to your son. One is called "Nana Upstairs & Nana downstairs" and is by Tomie de Paola. It's a Weekly Reader Children's book club book so guess you could still find it somewhere. Then another one is " Sarah's Grandma Goes to Heaven", by Maribeth Boelts. It's a Zonderkidz book. I think children understand more than we think about death if we are just willing to share with them.

I am so sorry! We just dealt with this a few years ago. We knew ahead of time also and its hard because your grieving her leaving and then the grief of her actual passing afterwords. Its hard and its draining on all of you!

What helped my kids and myself was we sat down with all of the pictures and sorted them and took the pictures of her and we shared all of our memories together and then made a collage with her pictures. They wrote her a letter on how much they loved her and wrote down some of the memories. Grandma was in bad shape and wasn't able to respond anymore ( but she was awake). The kids all read her the letters and told them they loved her. ( Now Im crying) But a single tear went down her cheek when they finished. At her funeral they placed the letters in her casket with her. I reassured them that her letters would be creamated with her so they were always a part of her.

Im not sure if they are doing the creamation before or after the viewing and funeral. If its before Im not sure how to explain it to them as to why, as I find creamations before hard myself.

My heart goes out to all of you in this time!

I am sorry for your loss. I bet she was very special and what a great thing your son will always remember her.

He is 8. He is old enough to understand that great grandmothers body was old. That it was tired., but weren't you all lucky to have known her? Maybe talk about things you will always remember about her..

If she was ill or in pain, speak about how now she is not hurting, feeling ill.

Also be truthful about how YOU feel. Do not try to hide your sadness.. It will make him think that is what he is supposed to to do.. Instead ask him for a hug. "I need a hug. I was thinking about Great Gran and since I cannot hug her, I need to hug you."

I want to be cremated. I explained this to our daughter when she was young. I explained the reason is because I did not want to "waste space".
That eventually if everybody were buried in giant plots, that land will not be usable.

I also told her "I do not want you to feel like you need to go and visit this place." instead she can either keep my ashes, or release my ashes into the wind so that I am all around.

Our daughter was also with one of her Great Grandmothers when she took her last breath and died. We felt so honored. Our daughter was not upset, instead she "felt honored". We had explained how GG had specifically chosen for us to be there at that moment that she left her body.. due to the circumstances.. She said she was "not frightened, because it was so peaceful, not dramatic like on TV or movies".

If it were me, with an 8 yr old, I would likely not mention creamation unless he asks about what happens next with her body or why there was no funeral. He may not quite grasp that idea that creamation is okay, unless you have a good spiritual background and you can easily explain that the body is just a temporary home for our spirit/soul, and that great-grandma's soul is no longer on this earth nor in her body.

I have no idea what else to tell you. I have only one 3-yr-old and we have not lost a human in his lifetime, just a dog, and he didn't quite seem to fully understand that the dog isn't coming back.