I have a 2 1/2 yr daughter and 4 month son. They have to share a bedroom until we are able to buy a bigger house. We usually put our daughter to bed first around 7:30pm and then we put our son in his crib after his night feeding -about 10pm. The problem is that when he wakes up in the middle of the night to eat, he sometimes doesn't want to go back to sleep right away. We used the "Becoming Babywise" method with our daughter and it worked very well. We are afraid that if we let him cry it out, then he will wake up our daughter. He usually ends up either sleeping with us (which we don't want) or my husband or I stay up with him until he falls asleep. Any suggestions on a better way to do this? Also, should we try to put him in his crib before we put our daughter to bed to establish a better routine?
I would try to use like a sound machine, fan or a humidifier for noise and then let him try to cry a little.
L. B
I think it can work fine, depending on how well your toddler sleeps. They will get very used to the crying, so even if they wake at first, they will adjust. The important thing is not to indulge the toddler much when s/he wakes. Just say, "the baby is crying, but s/he will stop soon. It's nighttime, so go back to sleep." You don't want to end up dealing with two awake and wanting comfort at once.
The only other thing I'll say is that Babywise is a method of crying it out that is not sensitive to the child's needs at all. I strongly encourage you to read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. He understands that sometimes babies must be left to cry if they are going to learn how to go to sleep alone, but he also considers natural sleep rhythms and successful methods for making bedtime and naptime a welcome time for children. Good luck!
My children all shared rooms, 2 boys, 2 girls, etc. It worked out so well with that. Most were close in age but they all shared with the baby sooner or later. I just put them down and if they cried the older child adjusted to it and soon never woke at all. It's like if you start out tiptoeing and making people be quiet all the time the baby will wake at every sound. If not they sleep through anything usually. I would let the baby cry and if your little girl wakes tell her to go back to sleep and soon she won't even wake most likely. If he was asleep when she wen3t to bed you could start off in the same room to get a habit started for both of them. I wouldn't stay up until he falls asleep or you could be doing that for many many months down the road.
Your daughter will most likely get used to any noise the baby makes and sleep through it. It's frustrating, I know - we have dealt with the same problem. He may need to be going to bed earlier than 10pm by now. Maybe that last nap of the day could be stretched into nighttime sleep. I'm not sure.
I know you may eventually have to let your son cry it out - but I sure hope you aren't denying a 4-month old the attention or food he needs at night. He's much too young to sleep 12 hours without feeding. I think the Babywise book is a little too hardcore about forcing the parent's wishes on babies. I beg you...read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Marc Weissbluth. It's not a philosophy or a 'program'..it's just the scientific reality of how children sleep at different stages of development. Read this book to ensure you aren't trying to force your baby into a routine that just won't work for him. It will save both of you a lot of frustration and misery.
Also, I think the other posters suggestion about a noise-maker/white-noise machine/fan is a good one. Get some white noise between the kids and they will all sleep better.
We put our two sons, 2 1/2 and eight months old, in the same room about four months ago. The older one still does wake up every now and again, but really not often, and he goes right back to sleep. We just take the little one out of the bedroom to feed him, then we put him back down.
When we were sleep-training him, we actually put him to sleep in the bedroom, and when everyone in the family went to bed, we moved him into the kitchen in a pack n play (very small house). When he woke up, we were able to do cry-it-out without waking the older brother. After he was able to sleep well and put himself back to sleep, we kept him in the bedroom all night. It works well. Just be creative! And good luck.
PLEASE don't use the cry it out method! It is stressful on the child as well as the parents. I used to think it would teach independence and self-reliance - that is before I read a bunch of research about how this causes long-term issues (sleep, esteem, eating, security, etc.) for the child left to cry themselves to sleep. Not to mention you are teaching your babies that you will not be there to comfort them! Children (especially under five years old) don't need to learn self-reliance, they need to learn Mommy and/or Daddy will be there for them. I for one want my son to KNOW he can ALWAYS come to me for ANYTHING!
Read the "No Cry Sleep Solution" books (there is one for babies, toddlers, naps, etc.). They are VERY helpful and teaches you how to create good sleep habits WITHOUT all the stress and crying and trauma for you and your children! Babywise is a terrible idea based on what is best for parents - NOT what is best for children!
We use sound spas in all our rooms. It works wonders and helps them sleep deeply. My 4½ yr old daughter and 2½ son share a room and we did the 'cry it out' method a couple of years ago. My daughter slept through a lot of it but sometimes it bothered her. When his crying was persistant and she got up because of it, we let her sleep on a crib mattress on the floor of our room for the rest of the night. We would tell her that "it's only for the rest of the night, we won't do this all the time". She understood because she never asked to start off in our room (which was what I was affraid of). We borrowed the mattress from a friend and it didn't last long. Once the baby gets into the routine, it should all take care of itself. My older boys share a room and have bunkbeds. I think it's important for kids to share a room sometime in their life and learn to share and tolerate each other. It helps them think of it as an "Us" world, not a "Me" world. Take Care and Good Luck!
