I can attest to Babywise. I have used the methods on four children and have recommended it so many people, and they have all had success. I strongly recommend that you own the book. It is a "How to" book and I refer to mine quite often, especially when sleeping starts being tampered with.
It is not a bad method, and those that think it is are not fully informed and I doubt they have read it and understood it. As with any book, there are good thing one can take and leave the rest behind. So if there is something that you don't like by all means, don't do it. Here are some good things from Babywise...
One good thing from this method is the scheduling. The recommended schedule is Wake/ eat/ play/ sleep/ wake.... repeated about three times in the day. By feeding your baby when they get up rather then when they are going to sleep, you allow them to figure out how to fall asleep and you know that when they start getting fussy they are tired not hungry.
One to two hours after they wake up in the morning is a good time to do the first nap, then about two hours after they wake for the second and then two after they wake for the third. Not all of them will be two hours long, but I allot at least that much time for planning my day. I try to stick to the times I pick every day because their body will regulate and it will start getting tired around the same time, and they fight it less. It will also be easier to notice when they are getting tired too. After I do the nap routine, and put them in bed, I let them fuss/cry for about ten min. I know they have just been changed and they are not hungry yet because they have just eaten and that they are just trying to relax to go to sleep or protesting a bit. I go in every ten or fifteen min, and check on them, and put them back down. I do this until nap time is over (about two hours) The first time you do this he will be mad and throw a fit probably the whole time, just use this time to get some stuff done and stay busy. By adopting a good nap routine, being consistent, and disciplined yourself, your baby will be sleeping soon enough. Do the same at night, just remember the less you go in the less he will keep waking and calling out to you to help him go back to sleep.
At ten months your baby should be sleeping 12 hours at night and have two 2 hour naps, maybe even three 2 hr naps. Sleep is essential for your health and his. He needs at least 16hrs in 24hrs.
Another good thing that they suggest is that your baby sleep in his own room. This is so that you can get the sleep you need and you don’t keep waking each other up. And so that when he stirs you aren’t “up and at them” before you know what you are doing. Babies stir in the night, and you might be temped to meddle with them at the slightest sound. Just be patient and let them try for a little bit first. You and your husband need your room, not a family room. It sounds at though he does not like the arrangement you have at the moment. At some point it might interfere with your marriage relationship,(hopefully not) but it is a good idea to get your room back.
The parent needs to be in charge. This helps your children feel secure when they know there are walls around them to protect them. Be kind and loving but when it is time to do something you must be determined and follow through. So decide with you husband what you will and will not accept and do it. Whatever you do you will need to be consistent. So if you don't want to be snuggling three –ten times a night, you need to have a routine for bed time and then be constant the rest of the time.
What I do for kids not in a crib is just take their hand,(not carry because then they are getting the reward they wanted) and walk them back to bed and tuck them in with kindness, and leave. (Minimal talking if any) It might take awhile with tiring nights, but eventually she will get it.
Some things that I have come up with…
I keep a fan in each room to white out noise. I also keep one in my room for teaching the baby how to get back to sleep, so I can get sleep.
I give a stuffed animal to my babies (one that can be washed, I like the ty pluffies) so they have a symbol of sleeping and something to snuggle with.
I also put a water bottle in the bed once they need not nurse in the night anymore. Sometimes they just get thirsty.
I wait till they are fully awake for ten min before I go check on them. This gives them time to go back to sleep with out me helping.
One important thing to remember, as with anything in child rearing, is to do something long enough that you can establish a norm. Once you know what the norm is, then you will know instantly when something is awry. Because its out of the normal routine you will know and can attend to their needs.
THE MOST IMPORTANT thing about parenting is Love the SECOND is that whatever you do, you do it Consistently. This above everything else establishes the most security for your child. Even if a parent is not the most "knowledgeable" and up to date in parenting techniques, as long as they are consistent, the children will respond like wise.
Good luck finding your sleep solutions,
E.