I thought I would escape this...but it's started. When it's time to go... after warnings, and one last times (which used to work)....My 3 year old does not want to get in the car. If we are at a new park, friend's house, swimming he know want to drop to the ground to make me stay and let him play some more. I have to pick him up and physically take him to the car which is hard considering I'm either also carrying the 1 year old and pushing him in the stroller. He just turned 3 at the end of June so I don't know if he'll understand losing privileges due to time seperation....This really just started happening so I'm not sure if he is testing me and the behavior is here to stay..but I wanted to nip it in the butt now. So please share with me what you do in this situation. Thanks!!
I have this same problem with my 2. lol I'm trying this this week and thought I'd pass on the idea to you.
What about some type of "surprise" in the car seat that's waiting for him? You might try placing a sticker in the car seat and another time, maybe a treat or a "ticket" for an ice cream later or something like that.
We'll see how it goes. I'll try to let you know if it worked, for sure, but just thought I'd mention it. :D
With my 4 year old daughter I tell her what I expect from her before we even get out of the car and the forewarn her of the consequences if she doesn't behave as we talked about. Then I usually start letting her know about 10 minutes before we leave that it will be time to go soon and then I follow that up a couple of more times (5 mins., 2 mins.). I have also found it is helpful to ask them to be your helper when it is time to go (carry this bag for mommy, help me pick up our trash, help mommy find our car in the parking lot) so they are distracted. And finally, if my daughter behaves like we talked about I thank and praise her for her good behavior once we are in the car and if she doesn't I let her know that we won't be able to do this again until she can show me she can behave like a "bigger girl".
LOVE AND LOGIC GIRL!!! Yes, he will remember delayed consequences. Have you ever forgotten to do something you said you would and he reminded you? My 2.5 year old does. When she is yelling in the car, I will say "I will be happy to listen to you scream but it will cost you your Snow White doll (insert favorite toy)." Since she is too young for money, I make her pay me with toys. It works. If she will not get in the car, then I say something like, "That is so sad, we will not have time for (insert whatever motivator he likes....tv, video games, books at bed, etc.)" Or I have used "I am so tired from all the work it took to get you in the car, it is so sad we can not go do ......."
Love and Logic has helped me so much and I highly recommend it. There are books, classes (let me know and I can email you the list of instructors in Texas), etc.
Good luck, this should be a phase that will work itself out with proactive parenting.
As a teacher, don't bribe him with toys. It will show him that he needs to only behave in order to get something. He needs to make that decision intrinsically...that he should behave because it's the socially accepted behavior in public. That Love & Logic thing sounded like a good idea.
When my son was going through this, I would tell him that he could choose to do it the easy way or the hard way. The hard way would mean that he got a spanking & a toy taken away. Usually he chose the easy way. Also, if he won't follow me, then I leave. Don't worry. I always have my eye on him. He follows because he doesn't want to be left behind. It takes awhile for them to figure out, but it will happen. Good luck!!
