How to Explain Her Father's Break up with His Girlfriend

Reason #47,982 not to introduce a child to the honey of the week until there is an engagement pending. Tell her that the honey had to move away and will miss her. She is not going to grow up in a stable environment like you want with all of these women coming and going. Her parents are not together and she probably has had three other women in her life....not fair to the little girl. Please talk to the dad and see if he can grow a brain and care for his little girl like you do. Maybe look into visitation modification if he is not taking care of the child.

OK, this may be very unconventional, and may not work for you, or most people for that matter, but is it an option for you to befriend the woman?? If you can possibly befriend his girlfriends it will help your daughter to avoid abandonment issues when the "relationships" don't work because then they will have the option to still be around as YOUR friend. It may also make your ex really consider who he is allowing around his daughter and may make him think twice about introducing her to them at all. I know this is very difficult for most people to even consider let alone implement, but it will help your daughter if you can make it happen.

Regarding AndraC.... My sons father had several girlfriends after we split up. My son didn't trip too much on it. However there was this one girlfriend who would be the one to drop my son off and pick him up on his dads weekends. Well, this girlfriend and I would talk A LOT. She would tell me what they were doing for the weekend, what my son ate....etc... After they split up, we remained friends and now I call her one of my best friends. I have remarried and had more children and this friend is a godmother to my youngest. People use to ask her why we were friends and what was she trying to get out of it, and it was not like that. We believe it was all God who brought us together. We have lots and I mean lots of mutual ties. Our whole story is actually a pretty cool one. good luck with your daughter. We kept a stable environment here at home while my sons dad did not and my son grew up to be a very strong and respectable person whom many people adore him and think highly of him. I'm not done yet, he is 16 now, but I like to think we are on the right path with him. Take care!

I think the simple explanation that she had to go somewhere else is probably good enough for the "why," but your daughter will also need some support dealing with her emotions. If/when she expresses sadness (and this may also include anxiety, which is harder for young children to express clearly), it is usually helpful to just hug her and say something like, "Yes, sweetheart, it is very sad when people we love go away. Can I give you a big, warm hug? I want you to know that I won't go away. I will always be here for you."

Ooh I know how you feel, its not the greatest situation but you sorta have no other way to help your daughter but to say, "daddys friend isnt there anymore. She had to go live somewhere else." She will just figure it out and eventually not ask so much. You just say it as a matter of fact, not sad or mad or anything. Its good you recognize dads faults, and be prepared for the next woman to swing in and out of his life.

Do you know xxxxx? And is it possible for you and your little girl to meet with her somehow? Perhaps such a meeting with the two of you explaining to your daughter would help. Also, if xxxx and you are willing, perhaps you could get together and let your daughter see her once in a while to help make the transition easier.

Say, daddy sucks and his sweet girlfriend found out. HA just kidding. It's not your question but please change the visitation before he gets a psycho girlfriend that takes care of her. She shouldn't be going over there now. I know the reason for the journals but I could never let my daughter get neglected for a journal, but *sigh* I know our "awesome" court system. I just wouldn't allow her. Do you have a lawyer? That needs to be changed asap because he sounds bad for her to be around. What does he do when he doesn't have a flavor of the month to babysit? Honestly, I shudder to think.

I would say that XXX had to go bye bye. I'm not sure you could fully explain it to her. My mom gave her dog away and my 2 1/2 yr old really loved the dog and I didn't know what to tell her so I said Angel had to go bye bye and kept saying it when she asked. Eventually she accepted it. There's a difference b/w a dog and a person, but it might work.

Update: lol, that's the reason I don't date either. Good that she has a good role model in her life. Just watch her dad like a hawk, it would be sad for her to get hurt because he's an idiot or harsh with her. Seeing your in CA, I'm sorry. My friend had to be strangled by her ex before they'd let her leave the state (she stayed when she met her current husband though) and keep her ex away from their son. Sad they let it go that far before doing anything (at least in her case)

He sounds like a child himself. I would just keep it very simple and short, and then ask her if she understands and has any questions.

I think I would file for a custody modification that any girlfriends he has are not to be over at his place when she's there. If she became that attached before six months, and if he expected this woman to take care of his daughter so early on in the relationship, it just shows how irresponsible he is. I know, preaching to the choir, but it might be good to have it put into the custody agreement to avoid your daughter having to get attached to a parade of lovely and not-so-lovely "potential step mothers" and "short term step mothers." It's not fair to these women either that he does this to them.

She's really too young to understand the nuances of the relationship. I would simply tell her that daddy and XXX are no longer friends and that she won't be able to see XXX anymore. She is very young and will soon forget about XXX. She may ask every so often, but that will gradually go away. And I wouldn't stress too much over it. It sucks that you have to clean up after your ex's stupidity, but she obviously has at least one parent with their head in the right place.

Since she is little and this could happen again I would let her know that Daddy has a few friends some of whom will stay long and some of whom won't. He will let her know when he has found the special woman but you wanted to let her know that She is the only really special girl in Daddy's life who will always be around.

Gently explain that sometimes things don't work out, and make sure she understands that SHE was NOT the cause of xxx not being around anymore. I would also stress to the dad that he be more cautious about getting his daughter involved with his girlfriends. Me being who I am , I would play the development card, telling him how her development can be delayed by the unpredictability of his relationships. It can also put a serious strain on their relationship as she gets older.

What's the point of visits with Daddy if he just hands her off to the girlfriend de jour?
That's not Daddy time.
I'd see about modifying the visitations - if he wants to see her, he can come to your house.
Dad is the unstable factor here.
If you want stable you are going to have a hard time achieving it with him around.

Just tell her the daddy and XXXX aren't friends anymore. They had a fight and they decided not to be friends. At 3 yrs old she really isn't going to understand what's going on anyways so simple and direct is the way to go.

They are not friends anymore.
She moved.

... sigh
Well, this IS going to happen again, and there will never by any 'stability' at her Dad's house, because he dates so much and his flings are 6 months max. Flings.
And who knows, what kind of women he brings home.
Already with the latest Ex girlfriend, SHE is the one that took care of your daughter. Not, your Ex.
Um, whoa.
That really is irresponsible or your Ex... to say the least.
Do you 'mind' that he leaves the care-taking of your daughter, to all his varied 'girlfriends' or flings??? And that he introduces them all to your daughter and probably has the women sleeping over?
And what does he do, when he and his 'girlfriend' are having couple-time???

What does your custody arrangements specify?
He is leaving your child, under the supervision of his Girlfriends or whoever they are or the flavor of the month. Flings.

So this is really, not good.

No matter what, since Daddy has flings all the time... she WILL be affected my ALL the women coming in and out of her life... and they seem to be babysitting her.
Um?
What if, the women has friends, and they come over to the house too, when your Husband is not home?
What then?

So many.... unstable and predictable unpredictable things, will happen.
To your daughter.
And the older she gets, she will see and learn.... how her Dad, treats women and how women are... with him. And what if she starts to mimic, that?????
Dads... influence their daughters, very much.
For better or worse.