How Much $ for a Wedding Gift?

Updated on August 22, 2010
L.L. asks from Granby, CT
13 answers

I have 2 weddings coming up in the next few weeks and am not sure what to do for a gift. I know the whole only give what you are comfortable with thing, but am curious what the norm is. The 1st on is for a college friend, I don't really know the groom but am very fond of the bride, but not like best friends close. We usually only hang out when we get together with a common friend who we are both very good friends with (make any sense,lol) Her wedding is out of town and most of the guests will be renting rooms for about $140 a night. I did not go to the shower so I feel like I should give a little more, but then again I have to pay for a room. The 2nd wedding is for my boss's son. I don't know them well at all. Have met them a handful of times. It will be pretty fancy shishy lalal if you know what I mean. Don't want to look cheap on this one either. Normally I know the people well and buy a nice personal gift and give a smaller amount of cash, but I wouldn't know where to begin or what these ladies taste would be so I'm better off giving $ So what do you ladies give for a wedding gift? Should it matter how well we know them, how fancy the meal will be, that we had to rent a room, or most importantly.... if it's Open Bar? :)

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So What Happened?

P.S. The out of town Bride already got everything on her registry at her shower and the Boss's son is not registered anywhere.

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E.W.

answers from New York on

I usually give $100 for each person going. So for my husband and I- $200. When my best guy friend got married. I gave that and a nice gift. But he was my best friend. However, when I was in a wedding out of town and had to pay for a flight, room, bridesmade dress, etc, etc. I just got her a nice vase (on sale at macy's for $50ish) and called it a day.

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A.L.

answers from Providence on

Hi L., do either of them have a wedding registry? It may help to stretch your dollars as it would have value for the couple since they selected the item. That would take the guess work out of it for you.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would say minimum of $50 each.
If the registry is filled a gift card to the store where they registered is a good bet, too.

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K.A.

answers from Little Rock on

My most appreciated gifts when I married were the giftcards. Of the gift cards, my favorites were for Walmart or Visa or Mastercard Giftcards. This is why, We got soooooo many gifts and a lot of them were dups. I got 5 hand blenders, 6 crockpots of various sizes, 3 tea pots, Looooots of glass casseroles and bowls, etc. We went through our gifts and returned dups or excesses for store credits and used the money to purchase the things we did not get. Sometimes, we kept a gift we really did not want because they would only give us store credit and there was nothing in the store that we wanted or needed. With a Walmart gift card, we are going to be buying grocerys anyway so we can buy groceries with the giftcard and use the same amount from our current paycheck to purchase our needs. Visa and Mastercard giftcards can be used anywhere.

Just decide how much you want to spend and give that amount in a gift card.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

If you want to give a gift go off the registry. It's easy for you and the bride if you order their gift off line and then have it shipped directly to them. If you're just doing cash, I would probably do $50 for the friend and between $25-50 for the boss' son. If you're only invited to the boss' son's wedding b/c you work for the boss, then I think $25 would be acceptable.

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P.N.

answers from Boston on

I usually spend $100 or $150 for someone close. So yes, it does matter to me how well we know them. But really don't worry about it. I absolutely did not judge the presents that I got for my wedding, other than finding it odd that 2 people didn't give me one. Choose something from the registry that you can afford or something you think they'd like (if you know them well) and don't worry that you are not spending enough. The boss' son, I'd be cheap on personally. Inviting the employees is about making it more fancy, I really would NOT overspend on that one since you don't know them. I'd probably spend like $50. Really those random people my parents invited who I didn't know, it was nice if they gave me $25 or $50 or whatever but I didn't mention it to my parents or anything, it was just nice.

I personally don't figure in how much they spend on the wedding. I've been to cheap VFW weddings and black tie open bar weddings and that doesn't impact the gift. If I was spending a lot on a room which left less in my budget to spend on a gift, I would let that influence it, but I consider the gift separate from the lodgings.

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, if it was me and someone has everything they wanted from their list then I'd get a gift card ($50) a visa one or if you know where she had a registry that would be an option.

As far as the Boss's son same ($50) gift card maybe a visa one or a place for dinner...

I always feel $50 is fair in those cases for weddings if it's family or a close friend I'm more incline to spend $100 or gift card

J.F.

answers from Fayetteville on

Probably $50 for the friend, and around $25-$30 for the boss' son!

T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

In the past I've used a general rule of thumb regarding gifting. It goes like this...you give at least enough to cover the cost of the meal that you are being served. You can go online and find out the cost of these things (if you don't already know). So, for instance if you know the meal that you are each getting is $114.00 per person, then I think you should give at least double that...say $250.00. If it is only $39.95 per person give about $100.00. The therory behind it, is that you are giving at least what it cost them to host you on their special day.
Now I realize that $100 - 250 may be an extrodinary amount for you, so if you can't afford it, just by a really nice card expressing your gratitude for making you a part of their special day and give them what you can afford!

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L.C.

answers from Hartford on

I give 100-150 per person attending. Anything less than that I feel is just not enough. If the person is not close to me and I cannot afford to give that much I respond that I cannot attend and send a smaller $50 gift. Weddings are extrememly expensive and yes you should at LEAST try to cover your plate!

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I think that basing the gift on the cost of the meal you are receiving is silly! So the richer people get more gifts? The purpose of inviting you to to have you share in the special day, not to elicit a gift! If you suspect you are being invited to anything for any reason other than the joy of your presence, they don't go!

You can send a gift afterwards - it's absolutely acceptable for up to a year, although I don't like to push it out that far. So for the friend, if you will have hotel fees, give a gift afterwards, when you've accumulated a few more paychecks. Even though she received everything on her registry, she will definitely need and want stuff afterwards. I would get something you think she will like at a big chain store (department store, Bed Bath & Beyond, etc.), knowing that she can easily exchange it if needed.

For the boss's son, I would give a gift sooner. Be careful giving money or cards at the wedding - friends of mine had their basket of envelopes cleaned out (either by a guest, the person "guarding" it, or a staff member at the club), and the poor couple lost over $1000 from well-meaning friends. Gift cards and cash are completely negotiable by anyone. If you don't want to put a price tag on something for your employer, then buy a gift, again at a large store that will have many options for return/exchange for the couple, whose taste you do not know.

Give what you can afford. $50 for your friend maybe, and $30-$50 for the boss's son.

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T.B.

answers from New York on

You're in CT which is pretty close to NYC, so.....
In my area, the range is $50-$150 per person (normally depends on relation to person or location of affair). I had 2 couples from CT attend my wedding. One was my MIL's boss and his wife. They gave Lenox dinnerware from my registry. They sent it after the wedding. The other couple, my co-worker and her fiance, came in a limo (on their own--not one of mine LOL)to the reception, ate, then danced a bit and had to go because he had to DJ at a club. They gave nothing. I apologized upon return from my honeymoon to her about not sending a thank you card (I personalized them with respect to the time I spent with the person during the reception and how I cherished the thoughtfulness of their gift) because I didn't want her to think I gave thank you cards to other co-workers and not her. I told her I must have lost the card or someone miss placed the gift (or taken it). She said , "I didn't give you anything. In trinidad (where she's originally from), our presence at the ceremony is the gift." I was okay with that, every culture has its differences. I still sent her a thank you for sharing my special day with me. Your friend, should feel the same way. Don't worry about how much you can give and yes, the room cost is an expense that should be considered. Someone told me once (when I asked where they were registered), that they don't have a registry because they needed money. You can give the boss's son money or a gift card to someplace for the couple like a spa or Bed, Bath & Beyond, or even Home Depot/Lowe's if they are buying a home. Is it the first wedding for him? If not, that could be why there's no registry---he might already have many of the basics.

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K.J.

answers from Boston on

I'd say $50-$100 is an appropriate wedding gift for friends. Close friends would receive a gift in the higher range and casual acquaintances would receive a gift in the lower range. When it's all said and done, give the gift that can be given cheerfully rather than with regret. Enjoy this special occasion as I'm sure the college friend will focus more on your presence during her special day than the gift you give. My husband and I were truly touched by friends and family who travelled hundreds (and in some cases over a thousand miles) to share with us in our wedding day. And all these years later, I don't remember every gift that we received but I do remember everyone who came to show their love and support.

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