How Long Have You Been Without Your 1 Yr Old?

Dad's dont' do everything the way we would. BUt they do everything the way they know how and they try really hard to make it right. So give him a chance.
And so what if he leaves the toilet seat up, or gives him something you wouldn't to eat, or dresses him in mismatched clothes. He's Daddy and that is so much better than a stranger.
It'll be fine.

No one will ever take care of your son the way you would however I think your husband would do a better job than a stranger. The same concerns you will have about your husband you will have with this stranger. It might cause some anxiety in your child to be left with a stranger than to be at home in his familiar surroundings with this father. I know this must be very hard for you, but yes it is time to put your big girl pants on and trust your husband. At the end your husband will have gained a new perspective on what you do and your son and his father would that time to bond. I say leave him with his dad, skype, text, email and make sure your hubby sends you pics every hour. Good luck and congrats on the new job!

I think it will be a good way for him to see what you do all day and how a moms mind is cluttered with all of the little things that keep a baby safe. And don't worry, he'll be fine. Maybe not bathes as often as you'd like and he'll probably eat stuff you normally wouldn't feed him but he will be OK.

I had to leave my 1 year old for 4 days when my mom had surgery a few years ago. I felt so bad doing it but my mom needed me and needed her rest so I couln't bring a baby with me. My husband watched her and she was perfectly fine. Sadly, I don't think she even missed me since she had so much daddy time to herself!

I've left my son with my parents for 2 weeks at a time, the youngest being when he was 9 months old and I had to travel for work. It was a lot harder on me than it was on him. If you trust your husband to take care of your child, then by all means, go and leave your son with your husband. I would rather do that than leave my son with a friend of my mom's who I had never met. I'm sure your son will be fine. Make lots of phone calls so you can hear his voice. You'll be just a few hours away, so maybe you two could meet in the middle over the weekend.

You trusted him enough to father your child so let him be the dad. He will be fine. This is a great opportunity for him. Enjoy the class - stay up late with mom and dad, go out for grown up things, have fun.

The longest I've left my baby was 9 days. He was 16 mos at the time as well. It was hard and he was definitely a little freaked out when we came home, like he wasn't sure what was going on! He probably would have been fine for another few days, but it's hard to say. 14 days is a long time. I agre that maybe splitting up the time might be good, if it's possible. You could take him with you and maybe your husband could come over the weekend to pick him up and see you? I don't know how far a drive/plane that would be but it's worth considering. Also, I know what you mean about worrying your hubby will take care of the little things, but honestly, if he's with him all day I think he'll figure out really quickly where the "danger zones" are! Plus, you would have the same worries with this woman whom you've never met too, wouldn't you? Just b/c she's a woman doesn't mean she knows your child and his issues like unsteady on the stairs, playing in the toilet, etc.

I don't think you're being selfish, this is a lot to consider, but you have to find what is going to work the best financially and logistically and that might be to leave him. When we left my son, both my husband and I were together, I think if your husband is there he will be just fine! Hang in there, though, it's a really tough choice!

When my first was four months old, I had to leave on a military TDY for four weeks! I was SOOOOO scared! I thought for sure my kid would be dead by the time I got home, starved or worse. After all, my husband didn't "hear" the baby when he cried in the middle of the night or when it was time to get up in the morning. It turns out, my husband has selective hearing (as in, I know mom is home and will get up). My baby turned out okay and when I got home, my husband swore he would never complain about having to give the baby a bath ever again! He realized a lot of things while I was gone!

More recently, I left for 4 days to go to a funeral. I left dad (he actually offered!) home with our three boys ( at the time 7, 3, and 9 months). They are all still alive and thriving. I missed them more than they missed me.

Dads do things different, but givin the chance, most will step up to the plate and handle things. Maybe not how we would do things (9 month old got chocolate pudding twice in one day while I was gone!) but as long as kids are happy and healthy...well.... I got 4 days of ME time (grieving was easier without having to worry about the kids's needs).

You'll worry, you'll miss him, but it will all work out! Give dad this bonding time, you won't regret it!

I travel frequently for work, but have never left my son for more than 3 nights. I don't think I could do 14 days- that's a LONG time for the baby.

I'm only sharing this with you b/c it's my experience, but after my last business trip, my son was overly excited that I was home. While I was thrilled that he missed me, he was literally attached to me and started waking up at night to make sure I was home. He's older (almost 3), so I asked him what was wrong and he responded very simply "I thought I lost you".

Two weeks is too long for either of you to be away from the baby. I would suggest finding a way to "split it". Could the baby come with you for a week and then go home for a week? You say it's "very far", but if both you and hubby drove and met "half way" it may not be so bad.

Your husband will be fine with your baby- he will do things differently, but that's okay. The toilet seat will be left up and the baby will stick his hands in, but hopefully dad will wash his hand quickly. He may not bathe him every day, but he will be loved-fed-bathed-and diapered.

JMO... find a way to split the time so that neither of you is away for this long. Children are VERY sensitive to having their parents away, even for short periods of time, b/c they are simply unable to understand "time" and at that age 3 or 4 days feels like "forever".

I've never left my kids that long, but i would think his daddy would be best rather than a stranger you dont know that could leave the bathroom door open or toilet seat up. : ) Good luck. It will be hard, maybe you could skype with him while you are in AZ.

Your anxiety is perfectly normal! (And us c-section moms have it too!!!!)

being cared for by a parent is always better than leaving her with someone you don't know in my opinion. Give daddy the chance...I am sure things will be just fine. I was hesitant when my hubby lost his job and was going to stay home with the kids all day but they love it!! They enjoy all of the daddy time now. You can talk to her even if she doesn't talk back, she can hear your voice. Do you have the possibility of web cams? We use them when I have to travel for work (usually gone for 4-7 days.) and they are great...we get to see each other, talk and even give kisses :)

Try to relax and enjoy the time away, do some grown up things, go out....

Your anxiety is completely normal. Any mom who doesnt feel the same may have had a c-section *lol* (no falling in love with baby potion released ...)

I have been away from my daughter or about 10 hours during that time and it definetely was detrimental for her. It also was horrible for me. Every morning, she ran away from the day care lady. She started biting me and hitting the dog.

I would trust your husband with your child. I also think calling once a night around bedtime to talk to your husband and son would be good. That way your son knows you are coming back and you know he is ok. Maybe your husband can bring your child out to see you on the weekend so that you have just during the week to be away from his as well. You need to give your husband the chance to be the parent that watches over his son while you are away, otherwise you will never want to leave home. The one time I had to leave my son home, I called every day and talk to him and my husband. Everything was just fine.

D. P.

I think Daddy should do it and if he needs some help your parents can step in. It will be a good bonding experience for your husband. If you cant leave your kids with their own parent, that's a problem I would say. If Dad doesnt think he can keep the baby alive while you are gone... I guess you have no other choice but to hand him over to grandma and grandpa. I never had that problem, nor would I have discounted my kids father like that... it would have hurt his feelings.

Long separations are never easy on children especially under the age of 3 when understanding of the situation is so limited. Although it's good that your husband would be the one caring for your little guy, he can't replace you. If you have been his primary caretaker up until now, it will likely be difficult for both of you. Sometimes opportunities are just not right right now. I had an opportunity to return to work 1 day a week for 6 weeks in a row when my oldest was 2 yrs old (I've been a stay at home mom since she was born). I became so anxious about it, that I declined the offer. I have NEVER regretted it. The money and experience would have been fantastic, but the price of leaving her was too high. Best wishes for wise choices. R., nurse midwife Mom of 3