Going on a 10 Day Trip Without a Baby

I think I have a different take on this than most - my son was without me at 10 days old when I had to have emergency post C-section surgery. So he went to stay with my Aunt, who lives an hour away. Yes, at 10 days old he really didn't have a clue. But this initial time with my Aunt and Uncle led to extended stays for him, with them, as he reached toddler age. He would gladly pack his bag and go to MawMaws for up to 2 weeks.

When he was about 6, I started traveling about every other month, over a night or two for work. He had a series of sitters that he stayed with, we talked on the phone every night - it just was not a big deal for either of us.

Don't get me wrong, I missed him when he was with others, or I was out of town, but I knew that he was well taken care of and he was only a phone call away.

So go on the trip with your hubby. Your son will be well taken care of and it will be a nice time for him to bond with his grandparents. Healthy, happy parents are the best thing for him.

Good Luck and God Bless

Someone else posted about this the other day. This was my response-
"There aren't any rules on this. I guess it depends on things like: what the mother feels comfortable with, if the child is breastfed, who the child will be left with, etc. I've found that things affect us, as mothers, a lot more than it actually affects our children.
When I left my son for the first time, he was 7 months old. His dad & I went to Jamaica for a wedding, and were gone for 5 days. I missed him TERRIBLY!! My mom came to our house and stayed with the baby. I figured if Mommy and Daddy would be gone, he could at least be comfortable in his own home. I called often and my mother texted pictures, and when I realized I was having a more difficult time than my baby, I loosened up a little bit. Just a bit.
The second time, we (his dad & I) went on a cruise with some other family and friends. My son was 13 months. Again, my mom kept him, but this time I allowed him to stay at my parents' house. This time, we were gone for 6 days, I think. He was fine.
In February, I traveled to Orlando for work. This time, I took him with me. Dad stayed home. During the days we were there, though, my aunt took care of him while I attended a conference. This is not a person he was familiar with. He did have his fussy times, but all in all, he was fine. He was almost 18 months.
Lastly, in March I went to Miami to celebrate my 30th birthday. My son stayed home with his Dad. I was gone for 4 days. My son was absolutely fine. He was just about 19 months."

I think this all applies to you. In addition to that, you have your troubled marriage. Go. I really think you should. In the end, the start or repairing your marriage will be beneficial to your son :-)

Yes, 10 days is a long time. Maybe you can use the first 2 days or so to clear your mind, and call home often to assure your baby is fine and ease the yearning of missing him. The last 7-8 days can be focused on your hubby. Or, is it possible to just go for a shorter time period? Either way, I think you should go.

My husband and I took a (several years delayed) honeymoon when our oldest was 18 months. Sure, we missed her a lot while we were gone, but having that time together, just the two of us, was priceless. We did call my parents (who were taking care of her while we were gone) every day, and they would put us on speakerphone and we'd talk to her a little. My mom said it was pretty clear our baby had no idea what was going on with the speakerphone, however every time she saw a plane in the sky, she would wave at it and say, "Hi Mama! Hi Dada!" Apparently when we told her we were going on the plane, she figured we would be on the plane all week! LOL Anyway, both she and we survived and enjoyed our time apart, and now that she is almost 9 years old, she neither recalls having been apart from us, nor seems scarred for life by it. But my husband and I do still have fond memories of that trip! My advice is, go on your trip and enjoy yourselves. Your son will be fine and so will you. Parents need time with each other, without the kids, from time to time. It's good for all involved.

Go.

It will be harder for you than for him. He may take a day or two when you get back but, really, he'll adjust -- and he won't remember that you were gone! Really! Go. A healthy marriage and happy parents are at least as important to that little one's development as your presence.

BTW -- as a mom who used to travel for work a great deal, you can try Skype or vidchats or phone calls -- but leave it up to the person who is caring for him at the time of your call as to whether or not it's a good idea. Sometimes my kids were excited to chat with me and sometimes it wasn't a good idea; same when it was my husband who travelled.

Go. Have fun. Take pictures. Then go home and hug your little one.

I don't think it will cause any damage to him but may wreak havoc on you and possibly interfere with what you think is going to be repair time for you and hubby. My husband was gone for stretches of 2-4 weeks until our youngest was 2 years also and I don't think i could have left him, even with family for that long. I now have to travel every few months for a week at a time and it kills me to be away...and my husband is even home now. it is rough on the kids even being with daddy but having mommy gone for that long.

i totally understand your need to get away with hubby though....that is a tough decision that I don't envy making. Could you take him and nanny with you? Could you go for a shorter stay?

Just my opinion... I do think it is important to spend some time with your husband but I personally could not leave my 14 month old baby for 10 days. That's a long time to wonder where mommy and daddy are. I don't think a 14 month old will understand that your going away and will be back. I don't think it will do any permanent damage or anything, I just couldn't do it. Could you take your baby and a nanny on the trip?

I left my 1.5 year old twins for a week long trip to Dallas. I LOVED having the time away. Go. I think it's way more stressful on us than on them. Your marriage will be so much healthier for it, which makes for a happier house. And, baby can surely appreciate that!

I don't have much to add over what others have told you. Just thinking how nice it would have been to be able to go with my hubby when he used to travel for work for seven months at a time. But, unfortunately, th U.S. Navy didn't provide accomodations for such a trip! I saw the effects it had on our children with him being gone for so long at a time. It was a big adjustment when he left and another big adjustment when he returned, but we lived through those years and they are both very close to him now.
As long as you, your husband, and your son's caregivers all have a good arrangement for this time, you should do fine. You are going to be more anxious to keep checking in on your boy than your husband is, so be sure you have communicated well about that aspect prior to leaving.

go!
it will be harder on you than on baby. yes, there will be a very brief readjustment period when you get home. but with all the g-rents and a good nanny, he will be just fine and you and your husband will be so much the better for giving yourselves the opportunity to reconnect.
you are in a fortunate position, having so much competent loving help with the baby. take advantage of it!
khairete
S.

I think you should go. Your son will be fine and your relationship with your husband is struggling. As an aside, have you considered working part time or not working for now? I'm making the assumption from what you wrote that finances aren't a huge issue. I will spare you the whole story but I am now working a professional job that I love for only 24 hours a week. The stress reduction has been immeasurable and I feel like I have more time with my kids and that I'm a better mom and wife all the way around.

Go! Have fun! Relax! Reconnect with your husband. It will make you a better mother and you have a great team of peple in charge of his care while you are gone. Skype home if you want, but it's okay even if you don't.
Go!

Go and enjoy. If you get there and can't shake the bad feeling of being away, you can change your flight and go home a few days early. (But don't tell work and spend the extra time at home with your family ;) Skype can help (but prepared that it could also be confusing or make him sad.) I hope you can enjoy some time with hubby!

It does seem like a long time... I work full-time too and that's always influenced my decision to not take a vacation without my kids. I'm gone at work so much as it is. I kind of think it's a different decision for a SAHM. It is important for you and your husband to bond again although I will say that if you're both dedicated to the marriage, it'll survive these years and can kind of be improved later. My husband and I didn't (and still don't) have enough time for each other but with older kids now, it's changing a bit. We both just knew it was a tough time period but would get better and it has. So I vote for going but shortening the trip...

I would say the internet and smart phones are going to be your saving grace. I would have nanny cam going 24 hours a day so you can peek in on him sleeping or playing and watch him eating. Not to monitor his care so much as to just see his little face. Do a face to face video conferance a couple times a day so he can see your face too and you can talk to him, sing to him or play mommy games with him.

When our son was 9 months old we had to move and prepare for a job transfer. My husband had to remain at the old job and only came to the new house on weekends for a few weeks. The first weekend home, our son looked at him, and then grinned and went to him. Second weekend, he looked at daddy, and studied him, and then went to him. Third weekend, sort of pulled away, a bit shy, and it took 15 minutes or so for him to warm up to dad. By the 5th and 6th weekends, he would hide behind me for a while and we would just sit on the couch and let dad play and be easy going with him and he warmed up to him. So we saw the progression of him not remembering dad as easily and taking a bit longer each time to get back in gear, but once the job was over and we were all back together he showed no signs of ever being confused or upset by those weeks dad had been gone. Id think going for 10 days now and working on your marriage far outweighs the worry of leaving the toddler. You have family and a nanny whom he is familiar with and probably loves and wont miss you near as much as you will miss him. Just go, get it done and over with, enjoy the time we all are envious of and when you get back be prepared for your baby to look at you sideways and be a touch fussy at first and then it will all be fine. I do wonder, since dad has to be gone so long, how do you plan for your child to react when he comes home? I bet he will be a bit shy and not so sure who this stranger is, but after a few days he will start to connect with dad and be fine. It just takes a little time but kids can adapt to new people in their lives or old ones coming back. Enjoy your time with your husband. If you don't keep your marriage up, then you may find yourself sharing custody of this child and being away from him for days on end without much choice. Don't let that happen if you can avoid it.

As a grandmother and former nanny, I totally agree with the responders who have encouraged you to go and have this special time reconnecting in a good way with your husband.

I took care of a little girl who was a family friend for a month at a time while her parents took a vacation...when she was six months, 18 months and at 30 months of age. Even though she was in our home and not her own and lived a long ways away so we didn't see each other much in between times she was fine each time.

I do wonder what plans you have for the three different caregivers, Will your son be in his own home, go back and forth between homes or a combination of both? Transitions are sometimes difficult for 14 month old children and it might be difficult for your little boy to adjust to a different caregiver even if in the same place. He will miss you most at first and when grandma comes and nanny leaves and mommy still hasn't come he may get a bit anxious. I would encourage you to have one set of grandparents be with him for an extended period with or without the nanny. I assume this is nanny he is accustomed to on a regular basis. Or the nanny could be the one who is there all the time if this is affordable...

Just think in terms of some consistency your little boy can count on and feel comfortable with. He will be just fine, but it will be easier if he doesn't get worried every time a new person comes to take care of him and it is never you.

Have a great time and do keep in touch so he can hear and possibly see his mommy and daddy frequently while you are away.

N.

Go! Trust me, your son will be fine and it may just work wonders for your relationship.

I couldn't enjoy myself leaving a 14 month old for that long a period. Maybe shorten your time on the trip?