How Long Did Separation Anxiety Last for Your Little One?

It came and went, and lasted a month or so each time.

She's little & you are her "lifeline". Her safety zone. Her love.
She will go through a few spurts of these stages at different ages.
Just continue to do what you are doing.
I would always put my little one in the kitchen with me in his chair while
cooking. Away from the stove obviously.
I wouldn't say anything. I'd just do it then come back to talk to him.
When he was in his high chair, I'd put a snack or toys on the tray.
When he was older, he'd go through these stages if I left him with dad &
went to the the store. I was told never to sneack out as that was more
detrimental. So I would say "I'm going to the store, I'll be right back.".
His dad or his aunt (the people I would leave him with) said he stopped
crying a minute after I had left.
When I returned, I'd say "see, mommy's back?" with a big hug.
He outgrew that stage. It didn't go away. He outgrew it with age.
Then came a little, brief stage at ages 1 1/2-2 and again at almost 3 1/2.
At age 4, he just wanted a hug goodbye & he was fine.
Of course other, different stages come (being afraid of the dark, wanting
a nightlight, wanting the dogs to lay outside his bedroom door etc.).
So I just look at each stage, brainstorm for things I can do w/that particular issue & see whatever works for us.

That isn't separation anxiety and it will last as long as you keep asking her permission to put her down. She is bossing you around, stop obeying your child.

No, really, I get it. At 18 months they understand you don't stop existing when you leave the room. That isn't separation anxiety, separation anxiety is when you drop them off at a play group or day care and they cry because they don't think you are coming back. They know you are physically leaving the building.

You are experiencing the ramp up to the terrible twos. She is using tears to get what she wants. She doesn't think you are going to disappear off the earth, she doesn't want to be put down, she wants you to carry her around and she doesn't want you to leave a room. She cries you come running back.

Think about it, she walks, she can go into the other room and get you, she knows you are there. That is her controlling you, there is no trauma involved.

She will keep crying as long as it gets her what she wants.

Try not carrying her so much, all, the, time.

Let her explore and play by herself on the floor. Of course you can be near her, but she is not on you.
Let her be independent.
This is a part of development too.

Use your voice to calm her.
Don't pick her up each and every time.

And, when babies or kids are tired, they often get clingy.
Does your child, nap??????
If not, she needs to.

Oh my DD did this for sure! And just like you, I would think "I'm putting you right next to me!!" I found the more I tried to 'reason' with her or make a point, the worse it got because it freaked her out. So say I was needing to get dinner going, I would sit with her at a table in the kitchen (her in high chair if necessary) coloring or playing with something. I would assign her some task- "stack these blocks for mommy" and get up real quick to do something I needed, then sit back down and say how much I liked the stack. Little by little, I would move her a little further from where I was going, until she was maybe in the next room- but I always made sure to come back to her BEFORE she started fussing. It took a couple of weeks, but as long as she could see me, she was fine.

The more you fight it, the more you make it an issue. Work with it, not against it. Maybe try singing songs together so she is still doing something with you as you are moving away. Little things like that make such a difference.

Despite all of this, some kids just like being around mom or dad. Even once we got through the major clings, DD was always the kid who was around me. Until she was 12 she would not be on a different floor of the house than me (though she didn't realize she was doing that, just did it). And for what it's worth, she is 13 now, and I MISS those sweet baby/toddler days. Enjoy this age, and know that this too will pass and someday sooner than you think you will look back fondly on them! Sniff!

geez, i'm so glad mine never had actual separation anxiety.
and i'm not sure how much modern parents mistake a little one's occasional natural 'tears for mommy' for separation anxiety.
sometimes my babies wanted me and only me and wailed for me if i was out of sight. generally only lasted a few minutes. they both cried the first time i dropped them off at daycare. so did i. i cried WAY longer than they did.
but i also never carried mine all the time or panicked if i left the room and they cried. i'd just sing to them until i was back with them again, and i was horribly un-motherly in that i only wore my babies if i was going out. around the house they were on a blanket on the floor or in a jumper or chair where i was *usually* but not always in sight.
no clue if it was luck or good parenting (i love to think the latter but probably not) but my kids were secure and happy and didn't seem to have much anxiety in general.
khairete
S.

She has you trained to respond and give her anything she wants. YOU have to make the change and learn to say no. If you don't want to still be doing this when she's 5 or 10 or 15 then you might want to figure out how to say no. As long as you continue to give in to her every wish you'll do nothing but say yes to every single thing she wants to do. SO you won't have a life, she'll have a servant that does her bidding.

Just long enough for you to lose your mind...lol.

With my first it came and went in three spells (9 months, 1 year and 18 months). Each lasted about a month or so. I remember the last spell was the longest since he seemed to have more awareness by then. I found with him if I just settled down during those periods and focused on him, they lasted less time. If instead I pushed him by putting him down, passing him to my husband or whatever which resulted in him not feeling like his need was being met, it lasted a lot longer and was much tougher on everyone. With my second he is right around 15 months now and deep in the throes of it. This is his first spell of it and it’s trying at times. However, I am trying the same approach, focus on him where possible and when I do need to separate, I do so in a matter of fact fashion. In the case of the pot example I have so been there, done that. I put my guy down and talk him through it. In a calm voice I just tell him over and over 'you're fine; I'm almost done.' Then when I am done, I take his hand and lead him to an activity. If he won't budge or if I am in the middle of something, then I pick him up and carry on. He does point me to where he wants to go but then I do that back to him as well. I find trying to keep him occupied while I need to do something helps. Then when I am not busy, I try to alternate between playing with him and letting him play alone.

My little guy right now follows me from room to room or squawks when he realizes I am in another room. For the most part being together is enough to satisfy him but not always. There are times he wants me to carry him. Shrug. I give in to his needs. My three year old grew in and out of it and has next to nothing to do with me now. The curse of independence.

So in a roundabout fashion I would say expect it to last a month or so. Good luck.