How Do You Get Your Husband to 'De-stress'??

My hubby had his doctor prescribe some relaxing pills which have helped tremendously. Also, exercise like walking and napping helps.

Exercise is a great stress reducer. Maybe he could stop by the gym on the way home. That would also give him the time to work all the stress out in his head before coming home. It might mean less time with the family, but if the stress is affecting his family life anyway, it might not be a bad idea.

Oh, and if he is not willing to exercise, you could always help him get good aerobic workouts in the bedroom after the kids have gone to bed. This is also a good stress reducer, especially for the guys, and surely he wouldn't object!

Find out what your husband likes to do in his down time and make time for that...like some have said before me, sex, sports, good food, and some sleep usually cures a man of some stress. This is not making light of your situation but sometimes just the basic things can make you forget all the stuff going on in your life! :)

I don't know if you'll like my suggestion or not...but when my husband had a bad job and was stessed all the time... I would send him "love" emails throughout the day - they wouldn't reference work or the "troubles"...before he left work, I'd send him a naughty little text message... and I would FOLLOW THROUGH with it ---always follow through... It was hard after a long day of work and having to come home to more work, but in the long run, it was worth it. Even though there were "troubles" and his job sucked, he KNEW I was with him!! That is how men measure your love - support - and loyalty... by how much "lovin" they get. I know it will hard with little ones.... but isn't he worth the effort of trying to work something out for him that releases his stress - gives him reassurance and believe it or not... YOU will really get to enjoy the increase in your own satisfaction.!! It really is like a drug... the more you get----the more you want!! Maybe take a night a week where either of your parents can have the kids for the night and when he gets home, have a nice glass of wine (if that is your preference) and something very nice on....

Best of luck!!

Everyone handles stresses differently.
Give him the chance to get out every once in a while. With friends or without. My hubby will walk the 1 mile to town and get himself a burger/steak for dinner every couple weeks.

Don't expect him to destress and switch gears as fast as you. Men are wired differently. My hubby can not unwind while driving. He has to unwind after getting home. He goes upstairs to change and we give him a few minutes alone. Do not allow the kids to jump him when he walks in the door. Encourage him to come home put on some sweatpants and go for a walk around the block. with or without the 1 yr old in the stroller... Leave it up to him. My hubby will go for a 3 mile walk several times a week...

We do not own a tv set. We have noticed that there are very few shows that relax you. Most just wind you up and distract you from what you have to do. Which means that you feel more stressed because you didn't get enough done to feel ready for the next day. They also interfere with a good sleep pattern. We are usually in bed by 9pm and hubby is up at 5. That would not be possible if we were sitting up to watch the late show. Plus, we are saving electricity...:-)

I am a stay at home mom who also does daycare. So I am literally surrounded by kids ALL DAY! When hubby comes home I would LOVE to hand the parenting reigns over to him... but I know that it would not turn out good. Train your kids and practice to have quiet time when daddy gets home. Let everyone sit and read while you get dinner together. Have the kids color or play quietly and allow hubby to either sit and read the paper or talk to you quietly about the day. His choice.

Hi C.! My heart goes out to you and your husband for the extra stress. Does your husband want a way to de-stress? We can do all the wanting in the world for them but if they don't....Does he think he deserves the extra?

My husband had a heart attack from the stress. He is learning to not take it all on his shoulders. One thing that helps is that I have asked him to use a stress relieving supplement that stops the damage from the stress hormone. May I send you and your husband some information on that?

warmly,
M.

Good morning C.,
In response to your question;
I believe the greatest de-stresser tool that you can use is yourself. If you can plan some good quality time away from the "norm" that is going on in your house by getting him away from the house, if you can. Spend a Friday/Saturday at a nice hotel here in town if you can't get away out of town. It doesn't matter but just getting him away and your self for that matter will help by allowing the two of you to get that precious time you need. It will allow the two of you to re-connect which is something you need that can be a factor to the stress. Secondly try to learn how to not take things so seriously because we only get to live this life once and why stress over things you may not have total control of. Learn how to work it and leave it where it needs to be. It's all about keeping things in its proper perspective. I hope this helps you and if you would like to explore this more feel free to contact me k...

Well wishes!!!

Coach TMB
"Empowering you by coaching you for life"
www.coachingyouforlife.com
____@____.com

My husband and I recently went through that same issue. I have been on meds for almost a year due to anxiety and depression that started after my car accident. When he got stressed, we made and appointment with our doctor and asked him for suggestions. We ended up adjusting some meds he had been on and it helped quite a bit. Another thing we did was have one of us take the kids somewhere(even something like grocery shopping) and let the other have some time alone at home to unwind. We also started swapping overnighters with family and friends so all of the parents got some down time together at least every couple months.

Hi C., Sounds like you are glad that you and your husband have work with this difficult economy, but recognize and experience that those jobs can bring a lot of stress. Sounds like your husband has a particularly difficult job and maybe not have much margin between work and coming home to a wife and two young boys which requires some energy too. You are worried about his health. does he have time to fit in some exercise, belong to a gym or just go for a walk or run around the neighborhood. Exercise is a great stress reducer and energy booster. It would be great if he could do this between work and home. If not possible. Maybe he needs some down time when he first gets home. Does he have time to unwind, read the paper, or reconnect emotionally with you before putting on that Dad hat? Sometimes kids run to the door and don't give dad or mom enough time to connect with their spouse before engaging in family life. I know having a baby makes that difficult but if there are ways you can set up your environment to be peaceful as possible when your husband gets home, that may go a long way to help him decompress. I like that you call him your best friend. Having someone you can share the difficulties of life in and of itself is a huge stress buster.

This advice is not mine but it is something that I have heard from men. I don't men to minimize your situation but men care most about sex. lots of Sex, food, and a good nap.
Just something to think about?

I believe this is true due to the fact that men are not very complicated. Their needs are not as sophisticated as ours. Most of them are creatures of habit.

Two things are so interesting here: 1) that I could have written this myself, so familiar to me is this issue, and 2) it's so funny and TRUE how uncomplicated guys are (yep, sex, comfort food, and naps is all my hubby really wants). In addition to this advice (which is great, I think), I would tell you to be understanding and SUPPORTIVE during this time. One thing I have realized is that I cannot change him, so I have to work on me. THis is not to say you should deny the stress you are feeling, but I agree that women are wired differently, and for the most part we destress through talking with our girlfriends, relaxing alone, reading, etc. Let your husband know that you're there for him if he needs to vent, and that you're worried about him. Try not to bug him or nag him about how he needs to make a change-- wow, is this hard or what?!?! FOr me, it seems like the stress of being in a job he hates has completely altered the man I married 7 years ago. We also have a 4 year old and a 1 year old (he's actually 18 months), so I feel your pain! I am home with them 90% of the time-- even more so now that my husband has been on an extended business trip since June 8th (he's coming home today, hooray!). But I worry that he will have a heart attack from the stress at age 34 (and the junk food), even though he exercises every other day when he's at home. I feel like I'm being ungrateful when I think about how i would love for him to get a new job, but how many other people are out there without a job! I often wonder whether I'd prefer the stress of dealing with a burned-out, stressed-out husband or the stress of him being unemployed. Good luck and God Bless! You are not alone in these struggles!