How Do We Teach Our Infant to Be Gentle?

I hold my kids hands after they have done a not so gentle thing and say gentle and guid them to the gentle behavior, then we repeat repeat repeat. They get it.

What you describe sounds normal for a 10 month-old. You could try taking is hands gently and saying "gentle, gentle" if he is truly hurting someone.

I love this question. I wonder the same thing about our 9 month old. He loves to pull hair and slap me while nursing - fun!

While I do have other children, this roughness is a first for me as well. I try to "show" him how to be gentle. I talk in a very nice, calm voice and say "be gentle with mommy" and take his hand and show him how to touch in a gentle manner. I also will make a mad/sad face when he does something rough and say "oww, that hurts" - then back to step one, guiding him to be gentle.

I think anything beyond that is too much for them to comprehend. Even what I do usually results in the baby laughing at me then pulling my hair. He is so sweet otherwise, always cuddling, etc, so I know he isn't all evil!!

Good luck!

10 months is too young.

They have to be aware of their surroundings and how they can influence their surroundings. I'm guessing that's around 18 months, but it varies with the child.

Good luck to you and yours.

I would always tell mine "be gentle" or "be nice" and then literally take their hand and show them how to be gentle. Obviously they don't know what this means so you have to show them.

If they were grabbing at hair, take their hand and show them how to stroke the hair gently, if they're grabbing at the face, take their hand and let them stroke your face gently.

I kept (and keep) telling DD "gentle. See, gentle..." while taking her hand and stroking the cat or touching another child, etc. Even now I tell her "Gentle! We don't maim our friends when we hug them!" That said, the 4 yr old can take falling over. Nearly every hug at my DD's party resulted in someone falling over. It's just kids, I guess.

If he gets overzealous, redirect him and teach her how to redirect him, too, or ask for help.

He will get there. You have to remember that your god daughter has had 4 years of guidance!! At 10 months he just wants what he wants when he wants it, and he thinks the world revolves around him! 10 months is a tough age, both of our boys were really rough at that point. I can't tell you how long it took us to teach them nice/gentle touches - especially with the dog. Still to this day (3 years old and almost 2) when they pet the dog they say "niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice". It is pretty funny.

It'll sink in, just keep modeling gentle touches.

Board books can be great for this - Pat the B. and others that have touchable parts can be a great way to reinforce gentle petting, patting and touching. As you're reading, you can lightly hold his hand and guide him in patting the soft fur in the book, saying "gentle, nice and soft" and then have him practice touching your face and hair. Around other kids, if he reverts back to being a little too gung-ho, just scoop him up and show him "gentle, nice and soft" on whoever he is manhandling.

Now if only that worked on 7 year olds beating on their brothers...

Just keep reminding him and demonstrating how to touch gently. The little guy is just learning, and a four year old girl is a lot of fun for a baby to explore! Not really much you can do, otherwise. He's only 10 mos. In a few months, he will start to understand the differences in the ways of touching. Be patient and enjoy this fun age!
Blessings to you and your little one.

Its not too early to start redirecting him, but he may not get it for awhile. When he goes to poke her in the eye, I would hold his hand and say "No, no, be gentle."
When he is trying to stand up, its probably a good idea for you to be pretty close anyways since hes so young and has a good chance of falling.

It's a process, and he's being developmentally normal. There's nothing wrong or unusual about this behavior (btw, putting fingers in the mouth and so forth isn't even really not gentle, it's just exploring. Now pulling hair ... not gentle).

When he tries to pull hair or hit, show him how to be gentle. Take his hand and stroke you/the other person and softly say, "Gentle." It's best to teach them how you DO want them to behave, not to punish them for something they don't know is wrong. But it's good to realize what's normal ... pulling up on another kid and her falling over isn't bad behavior. It's not rough or mean, he's just trying to stand up.

I always caught her hand and said, "Easy or Gentle." Especially around dogs and other kids. At 10 months don't freak out about it, really he doesn't understand, but I by no means think that he is too young to be corrected by using words.

BTW Your user name totally made me giggle. :)

It's never too early to start teaching, but you shouldn't expect results for a few months. You can say "gentle touch" and move his hands in a gentle way, modeling the behavior for him. Move his hand to stroke the girl's hair or face gently. Anything you do over and over and over he will eventually get. Keep your language simple - "that hurts her, let's touch gently"

I don't believe you should just let him do things that you wouldn't let a slightly older child do, or he will not understand later when you start to try to correct him. I certainly don't think you should "discipline" him or even say "no" at this point because he is just exploring, but you can definitely start teaching him in subtle ways. Babies are really smart!

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it seems that your son needs work in his fine and gross muscles, where he plays with items, including you, where he learns how to better control the use of his muscles. There are many books, tapes, etc that teach how to improve muscle tone, even your doctor can examine him and give recommendations, this is good that you noted this, because it is during this age period as children get more mobile and social that parents "see" things. sometimes home therapies with play make big differences for when children need more higher functioning skills for education, social, communication, mobility, etc... and though this is your first child, I am sorry to have to tell you that your son's first social skills, begins with his PARENTS, THE FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRIENDS he interacts with... So, now that he is gaining social ability, he is ready for learning what is acceptable socially, including, the simple word of, "No!" though this is your first, most parents tend to forget that this prodigy will need ti fit into society, where certain behaviors, words, actions, tolerance, intergration with others not lik him, is going to be essential to his ability to become the socially, productive individual, within his family, community, and the legacy you bore that will inadvertentently demonstrate to the world how you were as a parent, so being lenient and not teaching responsibiliy, kindness, accountability, yes, even at 10 months, because those little eyes and ears are learning... You need to set the limits and example... because though you might love him dearly, remember, it is with others like your goddaughter and other children he has to find success with socially... I would enroll him in social groups where he is interacting with different genders, ethnic groups, ages (no more than maybe two to three months younger or older), so that he can model the older ones and fine tune the already learned skills with the younger ones... If grandparents are available, they are great in teaching the fine social skills that many adults are losing dure to the influx of social media, we've forgot have to be gracious to one another... Also, that little girl wasn't born that way, she matured and learned, probably with alot off parental patience and frustration, she probably was taught how to behave with others, your time will come with changing into the teacher with social limitations, vice the overly permissive parent, oh, and this includes Daddy teaching too! Studies show most young males do not learn the positiive roles of being a male, due to the lack of teaching from positive role models in the home, most do learn from peers, and for the older set, the neighborhoods disenfrancished (sp) corner, dwelling males... and most males are not in touch with their emotional side, because societal norms do instill the male provides shelter, food, and no emotion, such as expressing love and affection... So, a positive male role model would be good, when he's more mature, though Dad would be great in teaching him to read, since male lieracy tends to drop off, because, men tend not to read in front of male children, ever think about when there are instructions for assembly? does he read them? LOL! Another recommendation is to model behaviors with play, I noticed even at four months my granddaughter models what I play with her, so play is good for learning... And visit your local library, there are great books on this subject, plus libraries now have social groups for little ones with storytelling, that will contact you into the mommy track for more activities... Maybe a friend or family member, might allow you to use their homes to a social group meeting, so you have some support in interacting with more babies... Twice a month, I plan a parents and me social get to together, where the parents meet, talk, learn, and kids play and they learn new things to teach their children, through play... We potluck, and all play, these young parents enjoy the time to let their hair down, and watch the kiddies laugh and smile... Good luck!