How Do We Explain the Pregnant Man to Our Children?!

I think the first thing to tell them is that it is not possible for a man to be pregnant. Just because this individual claims to be a man, doesn't mean that he/she really is. He made a personal decision to change his appearance just like a lot of other people do with hair color or nose jobs, his was just a little more extreme. However, he can NOT change his genetics. He will always have two X chromosomes and will always technically be female no matter what appearance he puts on. I believe that everyone has the freedom to make their own personal decisions in life but that does not mean that I have to agree with them or teach my children that it is ok. It is NOT ok and it sickens me that the media has felt obligated to make such a huge deal out of this issue.

ha! i agree with ruth- tell them it's not really a man. easier to explain that the media sometimes stretches the truth, than to get into all of that craziness. and technically it's true. "he" IS actually still a woman. you can't have a baby without having girl parts.

I agree with the other gals who have adviced you....keep it simple...no need to go into all of the discussion of sex change...morality...etc...just tell them it's not REALLY a man..it is a woman who likes dress up like a man....dont give them more information than they can process. Keep it light...
It's too bad that we live in a world where this type of discussion is even necessary!!!
R. Ann

It's not a man, she's a woman, so her female parts work..I hate that they try to make us believe that a man is giving birth, when they know it's really a woman and that's why she's able to be pregnant!!!!!!God help us!! To each his own, but like others have said, tell her she's a woman dressed up like a man, don't go into the other parameters, such as morals, mental capacity, choices, homosexuality, and all that other stuff. Kids need to be kids, and the world is forcing them to grow up too too fast.

Hi Suzi. I just had this conversation with my 8 year old daughter. She heard about it and asked "how can a man have a baby?" I told her that he was born a woman but always felt like he was in the wrong body, felt like he should have been a man. So, he talked to doctors and they helped him make some changes so he would look and feel more like a man. Then he met a woman, fell in love and they decided to have a baby and even though he looks like a man and feels like a man, his body still has female parts so he got pregnant. Her exact response was "oh" and off she went to play. We're a pretty open-minded family, so this conversation was not difficult. You may need to decide if you want to share the facts with your child or your opinion about the situation. The facts are fairly simple, the opinions could make for an interesting discussion. Good luck!!

That would be hard. First of all it is not a man. I am tired of people calling it a man. You need to tell you child this so that they are not confused and just be truthful with them. I hope I don't have to explain this until they are alot older.

I was sitting in the living room today with my kids and this story came on. My sons were the only ones that seemed to think it was weird and one of them asked how can a man be pregnant? I just said SHE is just dressed like a boy, isn't that funny. And left it at that. I really think it's wrong that I even had to think of something to say to my 5 and 7 year old boys.
Good luck anyways!!

Just because a woman dresses and wears her hair like a man and removes her breasts, it does not make her a man. I would tell your child the truth, this is a WOMAN who decided she wanted to be a MAN so she dresses and acts like a MAN. SHE is still a WOMAN and women have babies no matter how they look or act.

I think I would not go into the sex change bit...I would say it is a girl that likes to dress and look like a man..because some people do that.
Plain and simple.... Keep it easy...don't lie...but don't try to give more info than they are ready for.

You could tell her not to believe everything she reads and certainly not to believe anything her friends are reading on the grocery store shelves. :) I really mean that tongue in cheek. She is so young, I think I would really tell her that men cannot get pregnant, and it is a woman that is pregnant. That is the truth. If a person is born with XX or she has a uterus to bear a child, she is a woman. With the few babies that are born with both genetalia, they go by the chromosomes. It may not be PC, but that is what I would say.

Hi Suzi!
I, too just had this same conversation with my 7 yo son. He heard it on the tv and said, "Mom how can a man have a baby?" I just told him that they can't. Then he said "but I saw the picture; he looked like a man". So I then had to tell him that that person was born a woman and had the doctors make him look like a man and then she had a baby. Well, then he says, "but Mom she sounded like a man too". UGH!!! Some kids are just too perceptive! LOL Anyway, I'm sure you handled it fine. We all hate that we have to face some of these unnatural things with our children, and there's no specific right thing to say in some situations.
Good Luck to you for those awkward situations still to come! :)
S.

I say just tell her the truth. Best to hear it from you and ask you questions then another source. I'd rather my son learn from me then somebody else, or another kid etc... Yes, it's a little odd, but to each their own, we're all made different and to think different, and that's what makes us a beautiful diverse world!

I wouldn't worry too much about explaining sex changes, homosexuality, etc too much. The best bet is to just talk matter of factly about how some people go through these changes.

My bigger concern for you is your sleep pattern! I know EXACTLY how that feels. I have struggled with that for years. There are many ways to deal with it, lots of exercise, your tapes to sleep aids, to Estroven PM if you think it may be related to hormones. You will feel much better and think better if you are well rested. You may want to visit with your health care provider about a strategy.

Good luck!

I agree with just telling the truth as simply as you can without conveying whether or not you think it's wrong or right.

This is a great opportunity to teach your child(ren) about compassion and not judging others because they are different.

My son is 5 yrs old he is just now begining to realize that people are different I remember when he was 3 and he saw a really obese person or a dawrf somewhere and he'd say mom look at that person in his own language I remember telling him that it's not polite to stare at people that God has made us all different and we are loved by others no matter what.He accepted that and went on now he is noticing color hair clothing and other ethnic differences and once again I explain to him that we are all different the world would be boring if we all looked the same.As for the pregnant man he never asked I usually change the channel when its something like that he's 5 he doesn't need to know about sex and how babies are made right now Heck he thinks mom's babies are coming out of my belly button and thats ok with me for now.He does know about breastfeeding how can you hide the fact that I bresatfeed my babies.

I scanned through several responses and one approach I did not see is to first ask her what she understands and how she feels. Often, as parents, we feel we need to have answers and explanations for every question. When they are born, we have to 'think' for them. But, as soon as they can ask questions, our job is to help them 'think' for themselves.

Once you understand what she knows and what she may be confused about, you can help her untangle any misunderstandings she may already have. Children can make some amazing leaps in assumption when they don't understand something. And on this topic, there is much adults can misunderstand (understandably). You may not need to give her any information or opinions. You may be able to clear up some confusion or fear she may already have and then tell her that sometimes people live with conditions that are very personal and may be very difficult for others to understand. You can then steer the conversation toward being respectful and not making such things the topic of gosip. I like to tell children, "I don't have enough information to make a judgment about that."

There is also nothing wrong with saying, "I don't know much about that. Is it something you feel you want to know more about? I can try to find some good information about this if you wish." Then you can sift through some scientific information and provide her some bite-size bits of real info that may satisfy her curiosity. Keep in mind, if you try to avoid the subject, you run the risk of increasing her curiosity and then she is likely to ask others. They don't want to appear ignorant on a topic their friends are talking about.

If you want to give her a simple answer, I see nothing wrong with, "The human body is made up of many small 'activators' (which can represent everything from genes to neuropeptides) that help us develop our bodies. People are born with 'activators' that tell their eyes to turn blue or brown, for instance. There are many ways that these 'activators' can make us different from most people. (I have a brother with one blue eye and one brown eye.) Some babies are born with 6 fingers and some people grow extremely tall. These 'activators' are what tell our body to be a boy or a girl. Although it doesn't happen very often, some people are born with two different types of activators and there can be some amount of confusion about whether their body is a boy or a girl. (This covers everything from genetic issues to hormones and environmental factors.) It can be very difficult for some people to figure these things out and they often get help from a doctor. But the most important thing is that such people are people. We should respect them and respect their privacy."

If the subject of homosexuality comes into the conversation, you can explain that many people are very confused about this right now and some argue about it. It is difficult because it is such a private issue and there is still so much confusion even among scientists. Then you can simply explain that this can be very difficult for some people, but that most people are all boy or all girl and their bodies will either work the a boy's body works, or the way a girl's body works.

But, again, first find out what is important to your daughter and what is driving her curiosity. Then you will be better able to navigate the conversation and you will be less likely to burden her with more information than is necessary at this age.

Hope this helps.

I had to answer the same question from my almost 7 year old son. I explained to him that God made that person a female and that some people are not happy with what they are, and although it is wrong to do, this person went to a doctor and had the doctor remove his breasts to make him appear male. I explained to my son that this "man" still had woman parts and that is how "he" was able to become pregnant. I just told my son that we should be happy with the way God created us, and that some people are just lost, and need someone to help them. That cleared up any further questions (for some reason my son does good when you speak "medically" with him, so that helped).

It's funny you brought this up...I was just watching TV and saw the "teaser" for the special on this "guy/gal".
Eek...it's creepy.
I was thinking to myself what the heck I'll tell my daughter when she grows up enough to know that something isn't right there...
I remember going to a "Boy George" concert with my family when I was young and asking, "Hey mom...why is that guy wearing makeup???" (while my brother, 2 years older than me was asking, "Hey mom...what's that wierd smell???" LOL)
Guess we all have questions as kids...but the answers just keep getting tougher!

Don't freak out, just have this talk like any other conversation. Encourage questions and be thankful that you have raised a critically thinking child. Be truthful and speak about the situation with facts and compassion, because the truth is that this will not be the strangest thing your child sees in her lifetime... (Eek!)

Good luck.

Wait and let her ask the questions. Her questions will guide the conversation. Keep it simple and let her know that she can ask more questions later. It may not come up or a simple answer is all that is needed.

OMG - I totally understand. I have been very upset about this the past few weeks when they continually showed the commercials for the Barbara Walters show and made a point to say the first pregnant man. I'm sorry - I don't have any advice for explaining to your child - I'm glad my 5 yr old didn't hear it. Although this person was legally changed to a 'man' - she kept her reproductive organs - so how that makes her a man, I don't know. It is confusing for grown ups too. I would just explain the best you can and make sure that you convey your thoughts on this and morals.