Politically and Morally Correct Way to Explain Homosexuality to Children

We are "nones" and just told my 6 year old that a person is free to love whomever they choose (like mommy and daddy do) regardless of whether the other person is man, woman, or different color. But when a man loves a man or a woman loves a woman in this way, it's called homosexuality.
The end.
Religion makes everything so complicated.

Just tell them that there are different types of couples in the world - sometimes a short woman and tall man fall in love, sometimes someone from England and someone from America fall in love and sometimes two men or two woman fall in love and that is that.

Just tell them that sometimes for some reason boys prefer to like boys and girls prefer to like girls. Don't get into the sex thing until they actually know about sex.

I'm not a Christian at all, I'm Jewish. But some branches of Judaism condemn homosexuality while others are welcoming and inclusive. So my perspective may be useful to you anyway.

I have been very clear to my son that sometimes men marry women but other times women marry women and men marry men. I've expressed this in terms of marriage rather than sexuality because my son is young (6) and doesn't have a concept of sexual desire yet.

He attends a diverse, urban charter school, and apparently marriage was a hot topic in kindergarten for a day or two. Some kids have expressed that homosexuality is wrong. My response was to say, "Different people feel different ways about this, but I what I ask myself is, 'Does it hurt anybody?' If a man marries a man, does that make your nose feel itchy? Does it make your toes feel achy? Does it turn you orange with blue polka dots? Or is it their own business that has nothing to do with you?"

I've also said, "Sometimes good, nice people can disagree about what's right and wrong. You can be friends with someone and not share all their beliefs."

Some of that might apply for you....

Sweet:

Just tell her that some people fall in love with people of the same sex.

There are people that have two mommies and some who have two daddies and then you have our family - a mommy and a daddy. There are many different people in the world.

If she asks about it - you can give her the Church version and YOUR version. Just keep it simple, silly - use the KISS method. Don't over think it and don't give a lot of detail. High level, simple. Keep the conversation open.

Good luck!

Well, my brother is gay, and is very close to my son. My son, who is 9, has already understood that my brother likes boys. He sees nothing wrong with it, because we don't think it is wrong. He has grown up with the idea that we all love each other, and in different ways.

For me, as a christian mother, it is very easy. God is of love and so our we. He also gave us a choice in who we love. In who we want to spend the rest of our lives with, as a marriage partner. For me, I chose a man. For another women, she could chose a man or a women. It doesn't matter who you love, as long as you love them with your whole heart.

As far as discussing whether or not society or organizations are against homosexuality, we have told my son that that is their choice, however, we don't have to go along with it. We are our own person, and we chose differently. Acceptance takes a longer time for some people. We just teach him what decisions and choices we have made, and then let him decide for himself.

My son attends a Catholic School... and they NEVER have told the kids that Homosexuality is bad or good.. They just haven't brought it up.. I am not saying the church doesn't think it's wrong, but as for our school.. they don't discuss being gay, straight, bi or transgender.. So far, sexuality hasn't come up...

Now, the kids themselves have talked about it and when my son mentions it, I tell him straight up.. people can love who they want to love.. it's not our business and what's more important is how a person treats you... and that their sexuality should make no difference to you.. This applies to race as well...

My son does know the "church" may not approve of it, but I tell him that is the church... it isn't us... Really, although he attends a Catholic School, he only has religion once a week and it's not preachy.. they talk about the bible.. which I think is good reading for anyone .. as I do other religious/spiritual books..

I would be open and honest as to how YOU feel about the topic.. That's the approach I try and take..

good luck

You have gotten so many great answers here. Makes me so happy to see how open and loving these moms are.

My kids go to Catholic schools (I went to a Catholic High School). We have many gay friends and a few gay family members, so this is a real concern for us. I will say that at their school I have never heard any direct criticism of homosexuality. I have heard a nun prevent bullying and clarify that God didn't make mistakes and there is nothing wrong with gay people.

It is the Vatican that is wrong on this. They get a lot wrong...like how to prevent AIDS in Africa, protect children and the treatment of women in the church. I pray a lot about these things and I really struggle. I have decided that I need to separate the dogma of the Vatican from the compassionate teaching of Christ that I see happening all around me in my parish.

I would also say that more and more high profile individuals are coming out and this is one way to explain to your daughter what being gay is/means.

For us, we are simply using teachable moments at this age. I don't recall the sks ever flat out asking. One of SS's friends had two moms and we were more worried about the way they wanted to be addressed (Mrs? Ms? First name?) than the fact that they were gay and raising a son. Once SS realized we didn't care, then it was a non-issue.

And it's hard when you're sitting in church and your denomination won't let a gay pastor serve but professes to be "open" to all people. You can come here...but only if you don't do x and y. Thing is though, the individuals in each congregation may or may not agree with the Bishop or General Convention rules so that's kind of the route I'd take. The church says x, but I believe y and this is why.

DD is learning there are all sorts of families. Just last night she said that she and SD have DH for the same daddy, but DH is SS's stepdaddy. I said, "Hon, your family is a venn diagram and one day you'll figure it out." And then we explained that DH was SS's daddy as well and that the man married to THEIR mommy (vs her mommy) was their stepfather...etc. I'm sure she'll have friends who are raised in various families and we'll just go from there if she asks. We've already talked about how people are different shades, but they're still all people.

But I think the "why I believe x" is important. It's accepted by many people, but not all. So why do YOU accept it, or not? Get personal.

I would also not assume she's never heard about it. If she watches TV or reads books or goes online or has friends - I bet there's a lot she has heard already on a number of topics. She's also 10, so if you haven't had puberty discussions with her, it's a good time to start. Many girls start their periods as young as 9 or 10. And that can be a segue into sexuality and any other questions she has.

I am very open with my kids, we talk about everything, the topic of homosexuality never came up. The older two are 22 and 24 so it isn't like they don't know about homosexuality it is just an opinion they formed on their own.

It seems to me that no child would ask their parent about homosexuality unless they actually thought perhaps they were. Thing is if that is the case nothing we say here is going to prepare you for that.

Someone's opinions, feelings, on homosexuality is almost always self determined. It usually plays out, so and so is gay, and moving right along. It is just not the big deal older people try to make it out to be. Guess I am saying don't hold your breath waiting for that conversation.
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A smaller child will ask about someone having two mommies or daddies but by the time they understand sex homosexuality is a non issue. They just get it.

I Just tackled this over the weekend. We were watching a Tv program that mentioned a man's husband.My DD said "Husband?" And I responded with "Yes, he thinks other men are cute and fell in love and married one." She accepted that! I consider myself fairly accepting of homosexuality and encourage my daughter to be accepting of lifestyles that are different from ours as well. We also consider ourselves Christian.

This is why I love this site- I just went through this with my daughter!! She is now 12. At 10, my daughter did not know what it meant to be gay, either. Funny though, once we talked about this, she make some connections- "oh, like Mitch and Cam on Modern Family!". So they can know, but not know!

We are also Catholic. I can't remember how this came up, I think maybe because of ballot initiatives to legalize gay marriage, she was curious what this was about.

I told her that gay means a man who loves another man, or a woman who loves another woman. I did say that our church tells us that it is wrong and a sin to be gay. But I followed with the fact that we also don't judge. I told her that it's never ok to judge someone who is gay, and that there is never a reason to be mean about it. And that calling someone gay or using those kind of words to be mean to someone else is not acceptable. Finally, I told her that we know God doesn't make mistakes, so we just have to trust His plan. If they are doing something wrong, that is between them and God. Our job is to be kind to everyone treat everyone the way we would like to be treated.

I think you'll find your happy medium that addresses what Catholics believe as well as your live and let live attitude that tells your children not to judge others. Good luck!

Tell them the truth, that people are born gay, that it is not something they can change, and that it is perfectly normal and ok for them to live and love in a way that makes them happy. Explain that just because one religion says it is wrong does not make it so, and that luckily we have freedom of religion in this country. The bible was used to justify slavery, it was used to explain why blacks should not have equal rights, it was quoted over and over again when people were fighting against inter racial marriage and again by those who would have denied woman equal rights, including our right to vote. Explain to them how history and morality has forced people to reexamine what they think that book says, and that it will happen again.

I'm so glad you are asking this question. When I was a kid, I somehow got it into my head that two men could fall in love; when I was around ten I asked mom:"So, how do men have sex?" I think she would have died on the spot if she hadn't been driving, but she bluntly said "I'll tell you when you're older."

We have families in our community with two mommies or two daddies, so that makes things a bit easier. (Of course, my five year old wanted to know 'who the father was' with one woman/woman couple we know that had a baby-- that led to The Talk. So, there ya go!) Our simple response is "Just like sometimes a man and a woman love each other and so they want to spend time together, live together, or get married-- there are sometimes women who love women and sometimes there are men who love men."

I would say a more accurate statement is that homosexuality is becoming "more" accepted in the United States, but that some churches and governments around the world do think it is wrong. At that point, I would just answer specific questions. And if the questions go any further, there's always the "there are many ways for a couple to love each other and enjoy their time with each other besides intercourse." But ONLY if those specific questions are asked. As for morals, Theresa N nailed it..can't add anything to that!

I am catholic too but I practice birth control. The church is against this as well. If you disagree with the church on this why even bring it up. Just tell them sometimes boys like other boys and girls like other girls.

One of the kids in preschool had 2 mommies. So my daughter at 4 asked if two mommies can have a baby. So I said, well, it takes a mommy and a daddy to make a baby. Then she said well XX has two mommies. So I had to say that if two mommies want to have a baby, they can.

I always tell my daughter that to have a baby, you have to get married (trying to reinforce that at an early age) but as she has become older, she realizes this is not the case).

I do think that you r 10 year old has some idea about homosexuality - but it's likely to be confusing (as is all sexuality to a 10 year old). So I'd stick to love is love - no matter who it's with. We don't judge, we accept and tolerate. Who are we to question another person's love for someone? And, isn't a person lucky to have found a true love, no matter who it's with?

Those are my answers and beliefs. Intolerance sucks. You can only teach that from a young age and of course, preach it yourself. I'm catholic by the way.

When this has come up on whether it is "right" or "wrong" we have said that many people have different opinions on whether it is right or wrong, just like we have opinions on whether broccoli tastes good or not. Everyone has to make an individual choice for themselves, but it's not our right to tell other people what to do. Just like we wouldn't force someone to eat broccoli if they didn't like it!

We've said that many churches think that it is wrong, but we don't have to believe everything someone else says. We can make a decision for ourselves on what to believe.

My daughter then came up with "The Constitution says all men are created equal, so that means that gay people are equal to straight people. I'm going to believe that because it makes the most sense!"

Smart girl!

I think that you should wait until she asks. Lucky for you that this is not your area of expertise, because there is no need for a dissertation. She might not even ask you about the Church's view. If you truly want to impart no judgment, just be matter of fact when you tell her that sometimes boys like girls, and sometimes they like boys, and same with girls.

I haven't read all the answers but here is what I told mine when my oldest asked about it a couple of years ago:

"Sometimes boys like boys and girls like girls. They like them in the way to kiss each other the way mommy and daddy kiss. I don't believe this is the way God intended it to be and the Bible says it's wrong. So we believe it is wrong. But it is not up to us to be mean or ugly to them. So if you have a friend at school that has 2 mommies or 2 daddies - be nice to them. Don't be mean or ugly. And right now you are not to tell them that their mommy or daddy is wrong. You can play with them at school and be friends."

I still haven't decided what to do if they do have a friend with that kid of family - whether to let them go over to their house or not. Just glad it hasn't come up yet.

I think it is important to first be honest about what you really believe about it. If you agree with the Church's teaching, then get the book "The Theology of the Body for Kids," and read it and use it as a teaching device. If you disagree with the Church's teaching, just let her watch Glee, Modern Family, HGTV, Bravo, listen to Lady Ga-Ga and Katy Perry, and watch men's figure skating and she'll adapt to the American cultural trends ;-)

I would simply say that some men love and marry other men and some women love and marry other women. God made them this way. I would explain that the Catholic church follows some very old rules that do not allow for people to be gay, but those rules were made by people in the church, not by God. I would say that doesn't mean that the church is bad, just that the people who run the church make mistakes and take time to learn like everyone else. I would point out all of the good things that the church does, despite the fact that these rules are in place. I would encourage my children to be catalyst for change in the church someday. I belong to a Christian denomination that is very accepting of homosexuality. We have gay members and clergy. I chose a church that is inclusive and teaches that there is more than one path to God.

Some kids have a mommy and a daddy, some kids have two mommies and some kids have two daddies. Also, some people who love each other choose to have children and some choose not to. That is what we told my son and kids have zero difficulty understanding love. It was way way harder to explain that some people do not think loving who you love is ok. I had to go with a combination of they're old, scared, don't know any better and I don't know why (the most accurate answer). How have you taught them about racism and segregation? I would not feel that it was morally defensible to tell my son that we think all people are equal but other people think black and brown people are inferior and that that is ok. It is NOT ok.

My children go to Catholic school (they dont bring it up)and i am Catholic.
My daughter (who is also ten) asked about it as our close friend just married her partner, my answer was this
"In some houses people are very against it, In some houses people are very for it, In our house we dont care one way or another" she said okay and that was it.
I hope that helps.
many blessings to you and your family

Go to your local library and ask the reference librarian to help you find the books that will help you tell your child about this topic.

You can overview them and make a list of the ones that follow along with how you want it to be perceived. This way, before the questions are asked you will have the whole thing thought out and you'll be ready.

In child care when we are taking the classes to get our CDA we build a file folder that has all sorts of information in it. We have to go do this exact thing with a lot of topics. So if a parent asks us for a good book recommendation we'll be able to open that file box and pull out a list of books on just about any topic.

SO I know those books exist and they say a LOT of different things about why Sally has 2 mom's or 2 dad's. Why the neighbor guys hold hands like boyfriend or girlfriends.