How Do Handle Situations like This...

Thank you for asking this. It's not unique to girls - my 2nd grade boy cried himself to sleep last night. : ( His circumstance was slightly different, but I got some great ideas from this thread. THANK YOU.

If she likes what she is eating, she can say, I like to eat lots of different foods.

Our daughter took Chinese dumplings to school her very first day of kindergarten. She then continued this tradition all through Elementary school.

She also took salads to lunch way more than sandwiches and no salad dressing. Sometimes just a bag of fresh raw veggies, like celery, carrots, cucumbers, jicama, cherry tomatoes(again, no dressing) a few chips and some fruit.

If the kids made comments, she said, "I like salads, better than sandwiches."

"I like cold pizza. "

That is all she had to say.

There was a child who is Korean that took Bento boxes filled with all sorts of interesting things. When the kids asked her about the different foods, she just told them what it was.

I think just staying cool and not caring.. shuts that stuff down.

how about teaching her to say, "so? i like it! what do you have?" and then when they tell her, be like "cool." and let it drop. show her that she doesn't have to answer cattiness with cattiness. that she can turn the situation around. just my first thought. good luck, i know how you must feel.

Has she ever just asked them have you ever tried it? Why don't you like it? Things that are non confrontational but yet force a discussion.

If someone is the kind that just picks on the kids that don't respond, simply responding diffuses it. It the person really thinks it is a strange food simple questions will make them look at why and perhaps through the discussion understand why your daughter like that food.

Win win for your daughter.

Now if you pack her gross lunches like my mom did let the poor thing throw them in the trash and buy lunch. :) I usually agreed with the kids that made fun of my lunches.

Oh this is so hard. My daughter just turned 5 but we hang out with a group of boys sometimes and they sometimes tease her about her likes too. I worry about this "mean girl" trend of elementary school that hasn't even started for us yet! I agree with Adan's Mama and would suggest teaching her some phrases like, hey don't talk to me like that or I like what I'm eating and it's okay if you don't, etc. I try and teach my daughter that if other kids say mean things or tease her she needs to use empowering statements like that. It's really hard because even my non-shy daughter sometimes feels uncomfortable with proclaiming her self esteem! ;)

I have always taught my girls to answer stupidity and teasing with intelligence. Jo W and Laurie A have the right idea. Ask an intelligent question or make an intelligent statement, to the knucklehead being foolish and they will be dumbfounded. Bottom line..teach her pride in herself and her things and tell her not to let anyone ever let her feel bad. Explain she will run into people like that (mean girls) and she shouldn't care what they have to say because if they are like that, they're not going to be friend material anyway. Good luck.

I would suggest role play to help her gain the confidence to respond back. If you ignores the comments, the kids will probably start viewing her as aloof or rude. It's easy to think "Oh, she needs to learn to stand up and do this for herself." BUT, it doesn't come easily for a lot of kids. I have one myself.

Also, explain to her that most likely they are not trying to be mean. Kids comment on things that stand out to them as different. That's their way of opening a dialogue so they can develop a better understanding of what's going on. Responses like "I know it might look weird to you, but i LOVE it!" or "Have you ever tried it?" would be appropriate ways for her to engage with the kids. Usually answering a comment or question with another question puts the burden back on the other kids.

My other bit of advice would be to encourage the use of humor. "Oh, i know, I thought the same thing when my mom first served it to me. I thought she'd gone off the deep end! But then I figured out that wow- it's really good!" or "If you think this is gross, wait until you see what I'm bringing tomorrow!" That'll be guaranteed to have them gathered around her tomorrow in anticipation of what's hidden in that bag.

I'd role play with her. When the character on Little Bill was being harassed his dad taught him to say, "So?" as in "So what?" They don't have to eat it. She likes it. She probably doesn't like everything they bring for lunch. Kids will try to get to other kids by any means - today it's food, tomorrow it's shoes, etc. I'd work on building her up so that even if someone does say something mean, she knows it's about their own insecurities and not about anything wrong with HER. Praise her for her uniqueness and encourage her to hang out with kids that are friendly to her. And tell her to talk to the teacher if they don't leave her alone.

Regarding lunch issues, my daughter has also had this happen to her. What I've taught her to do is say while no you may not like it and it's not for you it's okay because I like it and it's my lunch. This has worked very well. She is standing up for herself while at the same time addressing the fact that the person who is teasing has a right to not care for what she has but it isn't theirs to be concerned about either.

I've taught my daughter that everyone is different and it is awesome to be exactly who you are 100% of the time. By that I mean eat what you like, enjoy the games, toys, movies, music, and so on that you choose, dress however you feel confident and don't worry about those who put you down. What is the most important thing in the world is how you feel about yourself and your decisions. Be confident in yourself, love yourself and while it may irk you that others tease you or pick on you from time to time know that it is not because you are somehow lesser than them. So far my daughter has been great at embracing exactly who she is and standing up for herself. She is 9 years old and in the 3rd grade.

Talk to the teacher ask her if you can come in for a few minutes and introduce the kids to the types of foods she eats, explain why she eats the foods (make it educational & of course cool) and provide samples for the whole class and teacher to taste. Do not make wind that you know she has been teased though, just go in and explain that you want them to try something new and its ok if they dont like it. most kids tease because they are mean or because they are uneducated...at this age sometimes the still need M. to stand up for them in a different way! Good luck.

Well, I hate to say it but even 2nd graders can say things just to be mean--even those that are supposed to be friends. I don't role play with my kids but I have tried to give them a way to respond to these kinds of things. They are in 8th grade now and seriously, kids are MEAN. One of my girls is easily bothered by other's criticism. I try to get her to not let it show. This is what the others want. She mostly gets criticized for her art work. The things is, these kids go online to see it. So she has come up with, Well if you don;t like it, then don't look at it. Sometimes it shuts them up but not always. I try to make sure my girls know that it is what they themselves think and feel that matters most.

Thank God for the individuals of the world! But watch out at the lunch table or the playground or the walk home or just about anywhere. I don't want to be a bearer of bad news, but this is only the beginning. It will show up oh so often as your child grows. Best advice I can offer is to begin arming her for life. Buy Elaine Aron's book The Highly Sensitive Person. This will help you to help your daughter.

In this specific instance, I suggest helping her come up with a polite comeback that puts the ball back in the other person's court. Someone here has suggested, "So. What do you have?" Something along that line, not critical of the other but acknowledging her choice of lunch foods.

My boys both had that problem when he was younger and my oldest just tried to gross them out more. But he's a boy. My youngest he just told me he didn't want to take something anymore and I told him that was up to him. You didn't say what kinds of foods she's taking if it is something out of the norm for a kid to take if she will speak up to them she needs to just tell them she likes it and that's all that matters. But if it gets too bad I would talk to the teachers. Kids are mean and unfortunately they don't get a lot better the older they get. And I feel part of the reason is people don't stand up to ones like that and or nothings done by someone in authority when it's our of hand. I know some kids that age wont speak up and if she does not feel comfortable doing so don't try to make her "take care of it herself" cause that would make her feel more uncomfortable. If she wont you as a mother need to step in. It's good you are concerned some parents out there just don't care. Good job mom!!!!!

Good luck and God Bless!