How to Deal with Teasing

I never wore glasses but a friend handled the same situation this way.
She found people her son admired and/or who were commonly known as cool who also wore glasses. She did stars, musicians, and even cartoon characters. Since her son especially loves any thing to do with penguins, she found a penguin with glasses. It made him more confident that his glasses really were cool since so many other cool people were wearing them.

Some of this has been said before but give him good responses to say back to the boys. My daughter always said whenever anyone called her four-eyes, "You are really good at counting." This made everyone around the bullies laugh at the bullies! Also the best luck I ever had at getting lunch and recess time bullying stopped was to talk to the lunch and recess monitors myself. (Sometimes it gets lost in translation between the teacher and the monitors or the teacher forgets.) I also (with permission) went out and watched my child at recess (did not tell them and stayed out of sight so they did not see me). This can give you good perspective and how to help your child avoid or ignore the bullies on the playground. Also inform the teacher of the bullies and finally if that does not work talk to the principal and both teachers together or just the principal. It sounds like the school does not want bullying so all of these things should be helpful. And this may be drastic but have you considered contacts if he is so against glasses? If they will work for his eyes he just might have enough incentive to use them.

I would follow up with the teacher to make sure she has informed the ground duties that monitor recess time and also whoever monitors in the lunchroom.

Also I would give him some ideas on how to stand up to bullies.

Also check and see what the school policy on bullies is. If the boys don't stop teasing him there may be some consequences in place that the school can implement.

This lands in the "bullying" category. Check back with the teacher, make sure the kids were warned of consequences if they continued the behavior.

If the teacher hems and haws, speak with the principal. This is actually very easy to deal with if even one adult at the skill is willing, because these boys are NOT going to want to get in trouble for this. If an adult warns them of future consequences, they will stop, OR they will get in trouble one more time, and then stop.

I suggest reading "Artuhur's Eyes" with him. It might help.

Ugh! What is with those kids? I would probably see what happens with the teacher. I would ask her (him?) what the plan of action is as far as the school goes. If it doesn't seem like they are going to do anything about it, I would request a conference with the other boys' parents so that they are made aware of what their sons are doing. (I would also do this if another episode happens at all--let your son know that you want to know if they say anything else again.) And, in the meantime, I would encourage my son. I would explain that some people are bullies just because they feel the need to make other people feel bad about themselves. I would encourage him not to let them win at this, that they cannot control how he feels. If their words fall on deaf ears, then they will stop because they will be bored. If they see a reaction in him, they will continue. (As an example, when my kids say that someone is chasing them, I tell them that they can't be chased if they aren't running.) Assure your son of his great value and worth and cuteness (whatever it is that they are saying, tell him the opposite), so that he has such confidence (not vain pride) in his value with his family. Poor guy!

When kids tease and bully, they'll do it to get a reaction from the other person. If he just ignores their comments, eventually they may just leave him alone. If he doesn't wear his glasses, he may be showing them he's embarrassed by having them. I'd encourage him to wear them. (I was teased when I was in 3rd grade and wore glasses. Eventually, people found something else to do.) Advising the teacher was a good idea, too. Teasing is going to happen, it's a matter of what they choose to tease about and who gives the best reaction.

I am so sorry that your son has had to deal with this.

I would encourage you to follow up with his teacher and ask what has been done. Also, is there adult supervision during recess? Whoever is in charge of that needs to be made aware of the situation, too, and I'm a bit concerned that the teasing has been allowed to go on for over a year.

As for the glasses themselves - if your son forgot he had them on, I'd take that as an indication that he really should be wearing them all the time for best vision. Would he like them better if you let him choose some that are cool/goofy/outrageous, thus making the glasses into a personal style statement? That's what worked for me, many years ago!

Thank heavens anti-bullying policies are usually a big thing at schools these days, but policies are only as good as those enforcing them, so find out.

Meanwhile, I know I went without wearing glasses where I 'should have' for several years until I got contacts because of similar teasing. The kids were just mean to me in general, so I didn't want to do or wear anything to give them any room. I know that there is a way to improve your vision with herbs and exercise, and I have been looking into a program - I haven't tried it yet, but I really want to. Anyhow, here is the link for it.
http://www.rebuildyourvision.com/

Hi C.,

Kids just break my heart. I feel badly for your son! Always good to let the teacher now, hopefully she will keep an eye out for trouble. I don't know if I'd go as far as the conference, not just yet anyway.

I would attack the problem from all angles. Telling your son to ignore them is first. If the bullies are getting any kind of reaction, this keeps it going. Talking to your son about why kids bully helps a bit, too. Telling him that those kids are trying to look tough, but are usually trying to pick on someone else so that they don't get picked on.

If ignoring doesn't help, he can be more direct with them. Simple, direct statements are best. "leave me alone", "don't talk to me like that", "I get it, you don't like my glasses, is that it?" (I tend toward sarcasm sometimes!).

Beyond that, it's time to step it up a little with the school. Check in with the teacher, find out if they have passed along your concerns to the recess monitors, etc.

I am definitely not a 'kids will be kids' kind of mom. Teasing is just as bad as physical bullying and I don't let kids get away with it. The school does have a responsibility to protect your son- from all of it. Having said that, I know that the most attention should be brought to the teacher. She has the most direct contact and therefore the most influence. If you present a spirit of cooperation, they are usually helpful. If they are not, by all means see the principal.

Also, sad but true, this will probably not be the last conflict he has that may require adult intervention. It's such a fine line to go between advocating for your son and becoming the 'problem' parent that teachers and administrators no longer take seriously.

Finally, find some books about kids who wear glasses, standing up for yourself, etc. Fortify him with these resources. And find some guys on tv he likes that have glasses!

Good luck!

I had to wear glasses from second grade too. My line was always, "four eyes are better than two."

I agree that he needs to stand up and have a come back, and have enough confidence in himself to do so. There were some good suggestions below. I was teased in school, and ended up with such low self-esteem (I was teased for having good grades). Any teasing can hurt. I wish I had had enough confidence to not take it, or at least not take it in.
I would also talk to the recess monitors, and have them "happen" to be closer to your son while he is playing. The bullies either need to be talked to by the principal, or caught in the act. If the conversation with the teacher isn't helping, go to the principal. Don't let this incident shape your son's experience.

I started wearing glasses the summer before first grade. I used the four eyes are better than two line, and I would also take mine off for a sec and say, you probably need to borrow my glasses seeing double is a sign of needing spectacles, I'd make an appointment as soon as possible you don't want that to be permanent. and I would walk off. I really didn't care what other kids thought though--I liked my glasses because I could see. I was an odd duck huh? never did the contacts in high school even. (although now I am really really wanting lasik lol) having a comeback helps and more important is somehow helping your son to see how special he is so that when the kids pick something as silly as a pair of glasses to tease about==well it will roll off. all kids take that input in at different emotional levels--maybe sit down and help your son strategize and come up with a plan everything from birds pooping on the kids when it happens to realistic things just to get all the emotions out on it and then come up with a plan for him that will work without him becoming part of the problem of teasing.
Good luck, hang in there--hugs for your son.