How Did You Discuss "Bad Touch" with Your Child?

"Your Body Belongs to You" by Cornelia Spelman is a great book. It sticks to the basics of what are private parts, and what to do if you feel uncomfortable.

"Some Parts are Not for Sharing." by Julie Federico

I am a family therapist, and those are the two that I use most often for education regarding Good/Bad Touch.

I explained to my kids very early on that God made some things so very special that he would like them safe. Those areas that your swimming suit would cover are very special if someone were to touch those areas they should tell that person "NO" and come straight to Mommy or Daddy. I also added that if anyone made them feel uncomfortable with any touch that they should tell me about it.

I still laugh just thinking about this discussion with my son. He was in the tub and explained to me that he used to have one marble and now he has two. I was putting on my make-up at the time. With out giving it to much thought I told him he needed to keep his marbles up high so that his little sister wouldn't choke on them. Of course he looked a bit confused and explained that it wasn't that kind of marbles. He was pretty proud of his two marbles at this point and invited me to feel them as he stood up in the tub. LOL! I then had the talk with him and he said that it would be perfectly fine if I felt them and it wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable. Of course I declined and told him that I would take his word for it. We still laugh about his marbles.

we talk about 'uh oh' feelings and physical space and what parts of our body are private

My girls are 4 and 5. We've had the conversations such as "your giney and butt and boobies are your private parts". Nobody else can touch them, keep them private. I used to have to wipe their butts and also wash them with a washcloth, but now they are fully able to do these things themselves. So I used to say, except mom and dad helping you clean yourselves and now I can say, not even mom or dad will touch your private parts - nobody.
Sadly molestations are very high percentage done by a close friend or family member. Open communication is very very important!!!

we just told our daughter no one can touch her in a way she doesn't like and not in a place her bathing suit covers. And if anyone makes her uncomfortable, to tell mommy or daddy.

We told our kids that no one was allowed to touch what their bathing suit covers.

I tell them that they can tell me anything...and that if someone has threatened to hurt me or them for telling me something - I will protect them....

We don't even allow our doctor to touch them without us being there....

Anything that makes them uncomfortable is wrong.

I tell my DD's that anything covered by their bathing suit is private and no one has a right to touch them there. I also tell them that IF anyone threatens mommy or daddy will get hurt if she tells that they are lying and mommy and daddy will protect her because no one messes with momma bear and the cubs.

Hi, K. -
How old your child is makes a bit of a difference, but I'd just keep it simple. Certain parts of our bodies (the parts covered by a bathing suit, for example) are private. No one may ever touch them without your permission. Any touch that makes them feel "icky" or uncomfortable is wrong, and anyone asking them to keep anything secret from their parents is doing something wrong.
Keep the dialogue simple, but keep it going from time to time.
Good luck, mom.