Hopefully I Won't Have to Explain This One...

My take. EWWWWW!!!!!

How would I explain it. "Oh look, there's the candy! Do you want a candy bar?"

IMHO, it's only a big deal if you make a big deal of it. If my 5 yo saw the cover I would just tell her he's drinking "mommy's milk" and that would likely be the end of the conversation since she is familiar with breast feeding. If she asked if she can have mommy's milk I'd just tell her I don't have any more.....no biggie.

it doesn't bother me one bit, and i'd simply say 'she's feeding him from her breasts' the same way i would any question to do with breastfeeding.
my kids learned boundaries just fine even growing up with a nudenik mother whose breasts were pretty much always in view!
khairete
S.

I think the only thing I would have a problem with is the title, "Are you mom enough?" I am a pretty good mom. I don't have to nurse them till their age of majority to prove it, ya know?

I guess I am lucky, my youngest is 11 and I would get a full out GROSS!!!! for that cover. :)

Okay I just caught this in the story, she adopted a son who was old enough to be verbal and breastfed him as well.....

"Grumet, who is also the mother to an adopted son, said breast-feeding him helped ease the trauma of bringing him home.

“I didn’t realize how much it would help my attachment to him,” she said. “When his English improved, because the connection was there, he didn’t do it as much. So now he’ll do it maybe once a month.”"

I read the comentary and saw the photo.

My wife breast fed all our kids and stopped when they were about a year old. We didn't believe the government or industry position that formula was better than breast milk. I think a woman breast feeding her children is a beautiful sight. I loved watching my wife nurse and cuddle our kids.

I admit to being a little uncomfortable if I saw a woman pull her blouse down to expose her breast so her 5 year old could nurse. I would not object, but I would be surprised.

I've seen lots of comments here that have widely varying opinions on when kids should no longer see their parents nude. I worked with a man that was a nudist. He said that he and his wife and their kids were commonly nude at home. I turned down a couple of invitations to join him and his wife and family for dinner. I didn't want to worry about where to look at dinner and I didn't want to "do as the Romans did." He was no more "wierd" than some of the others I worked with that had hobbies they were very involved with such as bicycling, or hunting or garage saling, or scrapbooking.

I figure how long you appear in front of your family in less than a fully dressed condition is up to you. Some families will walk around in their underwear or less and some won't emerge from their bedroom in any attire they wouldn't go to the store in. Your family. Your choice.

Good luck to you and yours.

It won't load on my phone BUT...

There are pictures of kids doing things your son is not allowed to EVERYWHERE (whether it's dirt bikes, concerts, shooting, whatever), AND he's going to be exposed to real life viarisnts in parenting and household rules via his friends.

This is just one more 'People have different rules in different families' thing that will come up until he leaves home for college/adult life.

So pics and mags don't bother me. They represent a portion of society that I either agree with or don't, and the ones that DON'T I've found to be the best, because they're easy teaching moments (harder moments are when it's his bestie that 'gets' something he doesn't.

The title is what gets me. Mom enough to what? Scar my child for life by putting them in that photo on the cover of a magazine?

If my daughter asks I will be honest. Because his mother chooses to raise him that way. That isn't what our family chooses. Lots of families have different views.

I would simply say that mom made a decision that was right for her family and I made a decision that was right for my family and aren't you glad we live in a country where we each get to make our own decisions.

I personally didn't (and wouldn't) breastfeed that long...... and I don't think that makes any sort of statement on if I'm "mom enough". I don't think she's a *better* mom just because of how long she was able / or chose to breastfeed her child.

But maybe there are some people who use that as a criteria to determine maternal worth?

I would also support that (or any) mom's decision to, since it's a legally afforded right that she has been granted, regardless of how I personally feel.

Ack! Time Magazine is just desperate for attention. I don't care if people want to nurse their children until they are adults. That's their business. It doesn't need to be on a magazine cover. That poor boy. I would imagine that even in France, he will get teased at school.

Yes, nursing is a natural part of life. Just like going poop. It doesn't need to be shoved in my face at the checkout stand. I'm betting those magazines will have the little blockers covering them.

Sorry, I think the more normal naked is to kids, the less exciting it is as them as they get older. I'm all for knocking and privacy, but feel it shouldn't be made an issue. The TIME cover is making me angry today, breastfeeding is healthy and normal. Some people just do it longer than others, and that's exactly what I would tell my kids if they asked. BTW, for misconceptions I see, he's 3 years old not five. And my kids would not be disgusted at all by this picture. My four year old would ask me if she could nurse again, LOL! He is most definitely three, probably close to four. Very close in size to my just turned four year old and several of her preschool friends.

First of all, I doubt your son really wants to see you naked. Kids burst in on their moms all the time. I finally started locking the bathroom door because I got tired of an excited child running in to show/tell me something when I'm just trying to take care of my personal business, lol!
As far as the cover goes, I'm sure he won't notice it. And for Pete's sake, way to go Time magazine! Yet another case of extreme parenting practices to turn mothers against each other.
We're not soccer moms or attachment moms or grizzly moms or tiger moms or working moms, stop trying to LABEL us. We are all mothers, and we are all individuals!
Oh, and my kids would be grossed out by the cover (clearly I'm disturbed by the photo for the reasons I've stated above.)

Whenver my young son has asked about a mom breastfeeding, I just respond with "breasts are for feeding a baby/child. That's how you were fed." That's been my general response. He accepts that, and we're on to the next topic. No big deal.

I just looked at the picture and have a thought or two.

First, to get this out of the way.....it's up to each mom to decide whether and how long she'll breastfeed. So, her breastfeeding her child is not the thing I'm concerned with. That's her business.

What really strikes me, instead, is that this photo seems very gratuitous and exploitive. Just seeing the way the son is so purposefully posed, head turned, eye toward the camera. It's all for the shock value and the exposure (no pun intended) the mom wants, probably for her blog, an upcoming book, or maybe even a reality show. She said she welcomes being the "new face of attachment parenting." This leaves the impression that she wants to jump on the bandwagon of taking a controversial subject, gaining noteriety, partially for her cause (I'm sure she really does believe in it), but mostly for the attention, money, and "celebrity" status that comes with all of that.

I also see Time magazine exploiting this child to sell magazines as we all know that print media is scrambling save their industry in whatever way they can. Shock sells. Controversial subjects sell.

This child really had no say about how he's portrayed in this manner, even if he said "yes" to the photo. A small child does not have the capacity to think to the future and realize that this photograph is a permanent publication for all the world to see or how he might feel about it later.

Maybe if they had just done candid shots of them in real life, it wouldn't feel so exploitive. But, that would not create the level of attention that this photo will.

Just my thoughts.

J. F.

I would simply explain that the child/baby in the photo is getting nutrition, being fed and that is why that child/baby gets to see his/her mommie's boobies. However since your child does not do that anymore/if ever, then it is not appropriate for him to see your breasts.

Weird photo, IMO. That was definitely not how my toddler nursed or how my friend's 3 yr old nurses. I think some of it was for shock value and is unrealistic.

My DD knows that she doesn't get mommy milk anymore and was no more bothered by the cover than she is when her friend gets "num nums" during a playdate. She's just curious.

When I tell her I want privacy in the bathroom (for whatever reason) I just tell her she needs to knock AND wait to be told to come in and we also have a lock if I really want to use it. (I can lock but she can't because she is not a grown up.)

If she barges in, I send her back out. It's just another social rule that she has to learn, like not looking under the stall in a public restroom or opening the restroom door before I'm ready.

A simple answer for "why can he..." is "he still nurses and you don't." I think DD would ask more questions about that topless Janet Jackson magazine cover than the nursing kid one. I'd rather explain the nursing kid than "why isn't that lady wearing a shirt and whose hands are those....?"

Mayhem is a great prediction.
I think they did the cover because some 'famous' or 'used to be famous' people are choosing this route. They definitely could have made the cover more 'nurturing' or realistic. I mean, seriously - since she is still breast feeding, does she naturally have her child on a step stool? They could have done the cover in so many different ways. If we saw this on the cover of National Geographic with a culture that does this regularly and not in a contrived pose, we would shrug it off.
It's not my choice (or my body's choice, for that matter!) to bf for that long. If you do it, don't criticize or judge. I hope they don't cover the magazine cover. I think it's a great lesson for children. I mean, she is more decently clothed than any cover of Cosmo or Maxim.
When I or my husband need privacy, we just lock the door.

I saw it and no matter how I feel on the subject I think its wrong to do to that little boy. As in kids have enough trouble growing up but to be on the cover of a mag doing that it's J. not right
Now my opinion on tthe subject of nursing- i did until 2 and then cut her off because i went by the govt reccomendations...I think over 3 is wierd but thats J. M..
I dont believe in the following statements
once they have teeth stop- babies use formula well beyond that
once they can talk stop- emmys first word was at 12 weeks
once they can walk stop- most babies walk between 8-13 months and the govt--i'm not sure its the goverment maybe some goverent sponsered education service but the classes i took in the hospital says go until 2

I do not judge anyone who does not nurse, J. like i think those people shouldnt judge others...I do however think J. like you cut off a bottle at a certain age, the age which they no longer need formula would probably be a good age to cut this off, but to each thier own

Children naturally avoid naked parents on their own in their own time, we don't have to teach them that. This is why we didn't have an opinion either way about it, the kids let us know when they were uncomfortable with being nude around others/seeing anyone else in the family nude. We didn't have a conversation about it, we just followed their lead.

If you are uncomfortable with him seeing you naked, lock the door.

As far as the cover goes, I have friends that nursed their kids until 5 or 6 years old, that photo hardly phases me, nor would it phase my kids.

I agree with Riley.

I'll actually take it one step further & say that while there are things that happen in other families that are not allowed in your family, there are also things that you can do (such as lock the bathroom door) that your 5 year old is not allowed to do. Not everything in life needs to be fair, some things come with age, some with maturity, some just because you're the grown up & he's the little kid.

If my kids were your son's age, I would explain it exactly how it is: "some women choose to breastfeed their children for years & years. To do that, their children would need to not only see their mother's breast, but be in contact with it as well. That's not how we fed you by the time you were that age" Period. End of explanation.

If a mother wants to nurse her child that long-more power to her!!! I saw that picture today and truly beleive it was meant to be inflammatory instead of "thought provoking" or some such nonsense. I have no idea how I would explain it though:) How would you?!

Ok, I'm sorry but that's just nasty. A todder, fine. A 5 year old? Why???

2 things disgust me about this specific magazine cover:

1)The headline, talk about a ridiculously condescending title: Are you Woman Enough, seriously!!!!!!!!!!

2) This is not natural, they are POSING for a picture. I find breastfeeding to be beautiful & natural bonding between a mom & their child. But I do find it gross that they are literally posing for this cover shoot.

i just saw the photo on my home screen when i got on the internet.. i cant lie that picture just creeps me out.. im a firm believer in 'whatever floats your boat".. in which i mean if it makes u happy and thats what u wana do and believe is right then good for u .. but i cant in anyway find breastfeeding a 4 yr old normal -just my personal view

That's just a bit too much. I know my GD would not be asking any questions, she would be disgusted (she's 10).

Odd that no one has suggested a law to take away this woman's right to nurse her child as long as it is beneficial to her and the child.

Oh and my son is not bursting into the bathroom to see me naked. He just can't wait to tell something or show me his newest lego creation. He is 6 and I don't think would actually care about the photo.

Wow, just looked at that cover and it is pretty thought provoking.
I can't believe that would be sitting on stands right now for every eye to see.
But, it's pretty apparent that our world is changing greatly and at a rapid pace and more moms might be nursing kids until they are 4 or 5 without judgement.
Gay marriage (hate beating that dead horse), kids nursing till who knows when.... WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?
Fun times for the younger generation, you guys have a crazier ride than my generation had... hahahahaha!

Well I have a 5 year old and a 9 year old.
Even they would say that that kid is too old to be nursing.

Both my kids breastfed. They know that.
No biggie.

I don't know how I would explain it. But I know what my kids reaction would be "Mama look boobie!" he is seriously proud he knows this body part lol. He is two.

I think that you're absolutely right to teach your son about privacy in the bathroom, not just that mommies need it but that it's okay for kids to need it too. Teach him that people don't barge in on others in the bathroom or when getting dressed. This applies in reverse too. Teach him that you respect his privacy by not entering the bathroom when he's there (I know that at 5 you still need to supervise baths and showers) or his room when he is changing clothes, even if his modesty has not kicked in yet. It's not about little boys and naked mommies, it is about courtesy and courtesy dictates that we knock on closed doors.
As for the cover, I know the photo. It's not about seeing boobies or seeing people naked, as I mentioned above. He should know that breasts are for providing milk. He can know that this boy is still being breastfed. If he asks about your breasts, tell him that there is no milk in them and he doesn't need access to them because he's not breastfeeding. It's okay for him to know that this mom is breastfeeding and that you prefer not to breastfeed your children to that age.

I personnaly find the picture disturbing and disgusting! I breastfed my babies and am 100% for it, but that boy is just too old! The chair he is standing on is NOT that tall! And to make it public! What's that boy going to think about that when he's 17yrs old!!!!

I have three kids that I have breastfed. I also breast and bottle fed my first. I have no isssue with breastfeeding. I can't seem to see the link on my iphone, but I would be a little torqued if they were insinuating that I am not woman enough to breastfeed that long. But that's not what you asked!
If my boys (ages 6 and 9) saw that cover they may ask me about it as in "Why is that boy nursing, he's kind of old?" and I would say, " I don't know. But it doesn't bother me!" and then I would contiue in with my shopping.
I think comparing this cover to a cover with two people having sex is a bit ridiculous.....
L.

we have no problem with nudity here! Honestly, I don't even close the door when I'm using the bathroom, unless we have visitors, lol! As for the magazine, if he asks, just tell him the truth. A baby is drinking milk. My kids are 4 and 7 (boy and girl). My 4 year old son knows that "babies drink milk from their mommy's boobies". It's normal to both of my kids. Nothing sexual about it

*ok I just saw the link to the magazine. That kid is WAY too old. Very odd pic. Before I saw it I thought it was a baby, but if your son asks, then just say that you don't really know. Tell him that breastfeeding is usually for babies and that kid is way too old.

Teach him to say "I need my privacy" for those times _he_ wants privacy. He'll start "getting it" soon enough, and you can use the line on him.

The breastfeeding part is not what gets me, although I do think he is too old. I don't like that it is too aggressive and inflammatory. Mom enough? I'm mom enough and it has nothing to do with whether I breastfed my kids for 3+ years or not. To me this represents the people who bash others and who act superior. It is NOT getting me on board towards their point of view. In fact, it is turning me off. I have no problem with breastfeeding or bottle feeding, I did both, and it is supposed to be a moment of closeness between mother and child, not a battle charge.

.

I'm pretty sure they will have it behind those blockers so it can't be readily seen when you just walk by. I believe they do this with some of the mens magazines too. I think its a bit much.

I think it's a great picture capturing the deep emotional divide between the two parenting camps.

One side sees it as an artistic interpretation of a perfectly valid parenting choice. And then they interpret the symbolism and make a personal judgment of the parenting choice - either approval or disapproval. Some folks will say "that won't work for me, but good for them!". Some others folks might say "that's terrible parenting".

The other side sees it as an attack and a parody. I believe that some of these folks will say "I don't agree with the artist's interpretation, but that certainly is eye catching and bound to sell magazines". Some others might say "An entire media is against me!"

I much prefer the answers of the first group within each camp. :)

(btw - I have not read a single answer yet. My opinion is my own)

If my 9 year old saw the cover, he'd look at the kid and think--what a BIG baby! In every interpretation of the word. At 9, he'd think it was odd that a toddler old enough to stand on and balance on a chair is still nursing.

When I saw that cover I couldn't help think how that photo is going to come back to haunt that poor boy someday. Can you imagine if he ran for president or senate or something? Or even became a famous actor? The media would bring that photo back to the forefront so fast and it wouldn't be to his advantage. Poor judgement on his mothers part if you ask me.

This is only an opinion on the picture being on the cover, I have nothing against extended breastfeeding.

i think you mean it was a baby breast feeding am i right? if so tell him thats how BABIES eat and its natural hes a big boy and eats big boy food. easy as that

I would lock the door, adults and kids don't have the same rules. At least lock it until he gets in the habit of knocking!

Going by your response do you and your spouse ever lock your bedroom door? An adult locking door is so much different than a child doing that. Myself I think that kid on times cover is about the size of my 9 yr old. You think its bad having 1 kid come in try having 4 that randomly decide they want your attention at odd moments lol and they are much older . he will stop in time

I can see little ones asking tons of questions about the cover of this mag. I have them also!! like WHY is it necessary to even put that on the cover!! Breast feeding is awesome and everyone has an opinion. But at three years old I think that is to old. I think if you child sees the photo you need to tell him what it is and why this boy is doing this in terms he might understand. I would keep it simple. Like some kids still drink milk from mommies breast and some do not. leave it simple. Good luck!