High Maintenance Toddler

My daughter was like this and still is to some degree. It was in part my fault because for the first year or so, I really wanted to "do" everything. By the time I was ready to let my husband help, she wanted nothing to do with him. We went through some very rough times in our marriage because of it. the daycare drop of was the same as you are explaining, even when she was three she would still cry somedays.
When I was not around, she had no issue with her dad, so we started having him take her out of the house to the park or something. She would not be happy about it, but once they left all was well.
I would also have him read books to her at night (with me in the room). I would have him play barbies with us (with me in the room).
All of this was very hard on him because he really thought she hated him, so it made him want to back away at times. But he hung in there.
I dont know your situation, but when we had our second baby (she was four) it helped emensely. I think a big part of it was I had to let go of some of the control and allow my husband to do things. She also had to start relying on him for things which built up thier relationship a lot. She still prefers me, she still cries when I leave, but she also has bonded with her dad and looks to him for things I cant give her (he is much more senstive than me :)).

Yes this is normal. My suggestion, can you make a picture book up for him to take to school? Pictures of you and Daddy and other loved ones, see if the school will let him see it and play with it when he needs it. Also you might see if Daddy can take him to school. Make sure you have a great routine inplace and it will pass I promise. Hang in there Momma.

We went through this to some extent with my oldest son. Daycare was a nightmare. He didn't cry so much at dropoff, but when I went to pick him up I could tell by the look on his face (confirmed by his teachers) that he had cried on and off all day or at least had not joined in or played with other kids much at all. And believe me it wasn't the daycare. The place and teachers are fabulous. They worked really hard with him. Wherever we went he clung to me. At his kindergarten "meet the teacher" day he hid behind my legs while my 2 year old toddled out to play with the other kids. But I'm here to say that it does get better! He is now social, has friends and loves participating in things like soccer, karate, etc. That being said he still doesn't function well in unstructured situations and he is much slower to warm up than most kids. Things are so, so much better now though. Don't give up on him.

My daugher is the same way. She is 2 and 4 month. She goes to daycare 10 months a year this is her second year. She still screams like someone is killing her when I leave. Also she gives the teachers, her grimy whoever is watching her the silent treatment if I'm not there. I don't think it's a faze. I call her my little remora ( you know, the fish that attaches to sharks permanently). I try to push her to do things without me. If we go to the park to try to drive the car without mommy. It's a slow progression. I figure in 10 yrs she will be embarrassed by me so I should make the most of it now.

My son was 100% this way from the day he was born, until he was about 3 1/2 yrs old. It was very difficult and frustrating. Dad was his number one guy. Dad also carried him constantly and was my sons "beck and call boy." What Jack wanted Jack got as long as he went to dad. Cut to every flippin' Monday morning when dad went to work and I had him and 4 other kids to see to. We both cried.

Really, the only thing that workd was time.

Check out Dr. Sears website and read everything he has about the high need child. If nothing else, it will make you feel better and will give you tools to help.

You have my sympathy!

L.