Hey -Are You Thinking of Calling Mom?

my mom drove out to be with us for the wkend! I fully embrace my time with her....& we also drove to the lake house to see my sis & her family. Sharing the wealth, I do believe!

My mom joined us on Friday.....after she spent the day with her 90yo mother.

My 24yo son & I "talked" on FB just a little while ago. He's out of town & commented on my page....I'm sooo thankful that he initiated the contact!

I consider all of the above.....my blessings. I also want you to know that my dad passed away 2 years ago....next month. Not a day goes by without me thinking of him & wanting to talk to him. Totally get what you're saying. Peace.

Darn crying songs. I was missing my sister tonight. So you and I are two peas in a pod this fine evenin'.

I'll be giving my mama a call tomorrow and, gratefully, I got to see her earlier today.

Big hugs. I hear you.

Hugs sweetheart!! Love lost is something that can never be replaced. I live FAR away from my family and so I try and make time to spend with them on the phone and time spent on skype for my son is invaluable for the grandparents. But my grandmother (second mother) died 14 years ago and I still tear up thinking about her and how I wish she could meet my son. Just remember, they live on in the memories that we share with others.

My dad died September 1 a couple of years ago.
I never said anything to anyone at work or anything, but it was definitley on my mind. We always talked on Wednesday and Sunday, if not even more.
He lived in NC and I'm in California.
It's so weird that when my phone rings I still think it might be him.
I still think about calling him for something and realize I can't.
I definitely think we need to stay in touch with our loved ones as much as possible. We don't get to have them forever.

Best wishes.

J.
((hugs)). I know your pain. I would give almost anything to see mine, hold her, hug her and tell her I love her again. I lost her 10 yrs ago this September.
All of you out there listen to J.. She is right. Anyone you love let them know. Life is a b***h. Express your love. Don't wait for the next day. Don't hold a grudge.

So true! I try to talk to my mom (even briefly) every day.

Hugs to you! These anniversaries are so hard. I lost my mom Oct. of 2003. I miss talking to her over stupid stuff via telephone, the most. It took a few years before I stopped automatically picking up the phone to call her. Having dreams of her now is a wonderful, unexpected pleasure.

I love your message today. :)

Hi J.! I am so sorry you lost your mama. I talk to my mom very often, and even though I'm 40 now, I still need her, and my stepdad (which I consider my real dad). You never really stop being a parent or needing your parent after you get older. :-)
I know it's not the same since she can't talk back to you, but when you feel like talking to her, just talk to her outloud.
I wish I can reach out to you and give you a HUG! Please accept my cyber hug to you!
This is a great suggestion J.. Thank you for posting this and reminding us that life is precious and it can change within an instant.
Many Blessings to you! And BIG HUGS too! :-)

I'm visiting my mom today and we talk almost every day. I urge my husband to call his mom every day too. Every time I hear the song Goodbye by Celine Dion, I cry a river. Look it up. You'll see why.

J. I'm sorry that you lost your mom. I don't know what I will do when the day comes. My dad passed away 6 years ago, and I feel like you do about your mom, you just want to call him up, or answer the door and he is there. I had a dream one time about my dad. He pulled up in front of my house in a black mustang convertible. I was standing on the front porch. He yelled at me in a loud voice "Hey, I love you, and I am doing fine. Just wanted you to know" and he drove off. Weird. Anyway, my mom is doing the job for both her and dad, even in our 40's we need them. All the kids are together this weekend, and we are having lunch with mom. Hopefully it will be a good day. Try to have a nice day too, I know some days it is difficult.

I talk to both my parents whenever I can. I also make sure to talk about the tough important things...just in case...I know their final wishes. I also make sure I tell them I love them, that they did a pretty decent job as parents. That my siblings and I survived to adulthood with only minimal damage. Heh.

Take heed ladies. She is so right. I lost mine 15 years ago and I still wish I could.

I'm sorry for your loss! You bring up a good point. My mom went through kidney failure and has since then done dialysis and a transplant. During that time I learned that life would SUCK w/out her. It's taught me to appreciate her and be more patient w/her. I think we are closer b/c of it. I think you give a great message, appreciate and love your mom, b/c she won't be here forever. Great post!

Wow, what a coincidence.....I was just reading today's mamapedia blog....entitled "Dear Mom" And the first person I thought of, well actually, the only person I thought of was you....so I looked under my 'friend' section to find you, to tell you that you have to read it, for so many reasons, but mainly b/c the blogger has lost her mom, and I loved how she wrote about her days with her young girls and how she still thinks of her mom who is gone....

just thinking of you J. B....hope the pain eases with time....we will never know why some are taken from our lives before we are ready to say good bye....we always long for one more hug, one more smile, one more touch, one more meal, one more moment to feel their presence....

I don't know how to reconcile such a basic human and motherly need with such a narcissistic mother as my own.

Thank you for posting this. It's a wonderful message you are carrying to others, letting good come out of and in spite of, your own grief. I am so sorry for your loss. Your mom would be very proud.

J. I feel the same way you do about both my mom and dad. I miss my dad so much it hurts sometimes.

don't need to call her...she calls ME every single morning! My momma is the best :)

Good suggestion J.. When I grew up I thought I didnt need my M. much. I was married and moved a few hours away, and thought I was mature and living my own life and didnt need her input, advice or to keep in touch so much. I went months without calling or seeing her. I never thought twice about not telling her when we went on vacations, or bought a new car, or when I was sick. It was my life with my husband and I didnt need to include her in it all the time. We didnt have a strained or problem relationship either. I just thought when you grow up, you dont need to call M. all the time......WOW WAS I WRONG!
After I had kids and they grew up,(it is just a flash in time too) I realized just how much it must have hurt her to be abandoned for all those years. I hung on every thing my kids did, and said, and waited for them to call or stop by. I cant imagine the pain and heart ache I must have put my M. thru to not keep in contact with her for such long periods of time. I started to call her every week or so. She was always so happy to hear from me. When computers became really popular, we bought her an email machine so she could send and recieve emails. (she was 78) She loved it! I was at her house once when she got a new email. The look of joy on her face when she saw the light blinking to let her know a new email had come in, was sign enough that she loved the contact and needed us to be in touch more often. I made sure to email her several times a day after that. Every morning I sent a short note to say good morning to her and that I was having cereal or eggs for breakfast. In the afternoon I sent another to tell her I went shopping, or cleaned house. At 8pm I sent one to tell her good night and that I loved her. What was amazing was the more I did for my M., the more my kids did for me! My M. died almost 4 years ago, at 84 yrs old and I still start to email her and then remember I cant anymore. So take this as a lesson. If you dont think you need to stay in touch with your M., think about how you will feel when your kids feel this same way and dont call you for 6 months. Dont be so sure that your kids will treat you any different. They may think they are all grown up and mature, and dont NEED mommy any longer. And you will be waiting and wishing for them to call. CALL YOUR M.! Dad too. Brothers, sisters, cousins, you name it. call. Before its too late.

I'm so sorry about your mom.

This is very true. Even if you THINK your mother is a terrible person or you have a bad relationship, or whatever, the fact of the matter is, she will be the first to die, and if that happens & you don't make amends, it will profoundly affect you. DH just went through this. Him & his mom had a very bad relationship, she just died a few months ago (in her early 60's) and even though she was a crappy mom, there were a lot of regrets & unresolved issues.

My mom can be a little kooky, but we've always been close, and nothing will ever change that. She has always been there for me, and we talk multiple times a week.

J.:

I'm sorry for your loss!!

I talk to my mom through my dad!! I know funny - but my mom has a hard time hearing on the phone so I get to "talk" to her through my pops!!

I hope you have many happy memories of your mom!!!

I am so sorry for your loss. My mother has been dead for 6 years and I don't miss her. I am terribly sorry for those of you who lost a mom who you were close with.

I talk with my Mom off and on each week. I also am able to visit with her at least once a month. (She lives 3 hours from me). I also talk with each of my kids at regular intervals- one at least once a week, and the other 2 at least a couple of times a month. Family is the rock of our lives. We miss my Dad, and Mother in law who both passed away about 3 years ago. We think of both of them frequently, and are glad our grandkids know their grandparents, and great grandparents.
We have wonderful memories, and know that you also have. Keep the memories.

You're just exactly right, J.. Girls don't have regrets like me for not callling my mom enough and visiting with her and taking her out more. Life gets too busy and we get caught up in our own little world and forget what's truly important and parents are right up there.

My sister calls my Mom (whose 77) every day for several hours, dumps her problems on her to the point where my Moms heart medication has needed adjusting and THEN tells her (my Mom) that she can't tell her what to do.
My brother in law filed for divorce after 17 years of marriage and I honestly can't blame him.
My Mom can't bring herself to not answer the phone.
Talking with my sister has become a new and novel way for her to commit suicide.
My sister needs counseling big time but will not seek help because she's afraid she's as mentally unstable as our grandmother was (was a ward of the state and in a mental institution for 40 years).
My Mom's told her of her heart problems an has managed to back her off slightly by saying if she dies before the divorce is final, my brother in law will inherit half of what my sister gets of her estate.
I call Mom once every week or two and she enjoys it because I'm the stable one and I don't add to her anxiety.
It's great to communicate, but not all calling is a kindness.

My answer would have been no, but thank you, I will today.

Actually, it's Sunday, so yes, I will call mom today, and my hubby will call his mom.
I try to make sure I call her by the weekends if we haven't spoken all week. Usually we go about two days before I call her anyway.