HELP...Whining 15 Month Old....

I have a 15 month old who is very quick to stick out his lower lip and begin to howl if he doesn't get exactly what he wants. I wish I knew a way to help him get through this phase faster, but I don't. The best I can do is keep my sense of humor and smile at the baby who throws himself on the ground in despair because I won't let him ride his big brother's bicycle. With two clamoring for my attention, I am driven pretty batty. The 15 month old will even start howling if he just sees his 3 year old brother sitting next to me. Good luck finding some peace!

At 15 months he won't understand "time out," but he is plenty old enough to understand "no." Kids who whine do so because whining has worked for them. Choose which situations you are going to say "no" in, and then stick with it, because if you tell him no, and then give in after he whines and fusses, I guarantee he will continue to whine.

You better get the tantrum business out of the way before your next child comes, too, or you'll really be at your wits' end. The only reason a child has tantrums is that the tantrum has gotten them what they want. If you give him what he wants after he has a tantrum, he will continue to have tantrums. It's really that simple.

I would start with "no, you can't have a snack before dinner." You don't have to explain to him that snacking will ruin his appetite; he won't be able to understand that anyway. You don't have to explain anything, except that "mommy is in charge here." That's about all they really understand at this age.

For other situations, where you don't really want to get into it with him, you can often distract him from what he's whining about by physically swooping him up and redirecting his attention to something else: "LOOK, Honey! Here's your firetruck! How does it sound?"

The best thing I can say is be consistant, either saying "No!" firmly (I'm not a big fan of No) or a phrase like "I know you want (daddy's tape measure) but that is not for you to play with." and if he continues to whine (which he will at first), then a time out. The key is to be sure and use the same response everytime. If you are making dinner, he can wait to eat. Perhaps that time would be when he can watch Little Einstein videos or perhaps a special toy pulled down just for while you are cooking dinner? My daughter loved to sit in her highchair in the kitchen (out of the way) and play with plastic bowls and wooden/plastic spoons.

Hope that helps!

L.

What we tell our childcare kids when they whine is "I don't understand whining, you need to use your words." Even at 15 months, your child is beginning to have some words to use, though not many, and it is your job to be giving him more and more words to use. So as you are trying to put a stop to the whining (and I agree with others that this is a normal stage) be giving him the words to use for what he wants. When his want is something he can't have, you need to give him a reason why he can't (even if you think he doesn't understand... he probably doesn't, but still get into the habit of giving a reason) and re-direct him to something else. Finally, it sounds to me like one thing you may need to do is get ahead of the game with him and provide a little more one on one time before he gets to the whining stage. I know that isn't easy when you are so tired from the pregnancy and your regular daily routine, but you will likely find that if you prioritize your day, put off some of the less necessary household or personal activities, and just schedule quality time with your child, you will actually get more done in the long run, and find you are less stressed and tired.
Try things such as writing your emails at a time when he is napping or totally otherwise occupied. I find that sitting at a computer is the same as the old saying about talking on the phone... as soon as you start, the kids want all of your attention.
By the way, I would hold strong on not letting him have the baby powder... have even heard that Drs. recommend not using it at all anymore. But, as for Daddy's measuring tape... just get him one of his own and let him play with it. I know you may think he'll hurt himself on it, but you'd be surprised how quickly a child his age learns to manipulate one of those without getting hurt, and he'll enjoy playing with it and learn a lot from using it. Our daycare kids each carry one around quite a bit and love to measure everything they can. Do be prepared to be asked to measure how tall he is often during the day, however!

I can't really offer any advice, but this sounds like a typical 15 month-old. My daughter's 14 mos and just starting this now; we went through it with my son. The signing really will help, sometimes- also turning 5 helps too! I would read about t.o. too. I'm not sure at that age they understand what you're trying to do with a time out.

Have you tried redirecting him? Rather then saying, "no, you can't this" say "here, you can have this" and remove what the no item was. I tried really hard to have a "yes" environment for my daughter. There were still things she couldn't have, but we tried to limit them as much as possible. Try to keep in mind he's trying to see if you will consistent every time he asks for something, he wants to see if there's a breaking point.
Honestly, I don't even bother trying to use the computer while my daughter is awake (even now that she's almost 2) unless my husband is home to help with her. She sees the undivided attention I give to the screen and wants a part of it. I just find it much easier, and much more rewarding to wait until nap and bed time. We'll see how long that lasts once I'm unemployed and home with her full time :O)
Best of luck!

I have 19 month old Twins and this phase is normal. I understand about being frustrated and tired. But you have to take a step back a realize he is just a baby and it is not his fault. It is just a phase and it will end, remember they grow up so fast and you will miss him being young. Redirect him to something else. Plan different activities to make him busy, play with him. He has a lot of energy, let him run around a the backyard or park. Set-up play dates, take him a couple days a week to a pre-school/day-care.

Good Luck and Congrats on baby #2

You just described my house about 5 months ago. Same situation, young baby with one on the way. It gets better, the whining will stop. Try to redirect his attention. Dixie cuups were a hit for us in the kitchen. Magnets on a baking sheet. Good luck, it does get better though. Oh wait, it gets tougher at first with the new baby, but then it DOES get better! :)

I personally don't think at 15 months you can really teach a kid NOT to whine as you call. It's just a phase, I think he will grow out of it. My son did. For the most part, I just did my best to remain calm and speak to him in a consistent firm manner, eventually he got the hint.
Try and not let him see you too upset. Kids mirror what they see. Also, stick to your guns, when you say no, do it in a calm manner and stand your ground. Eventually he will clue in to the fact that you mean business. If you flip flop and sometimes give in, then you are rewarding his behavior.
good luck