Help with My Summer Kids.

i like alot of the suggestions that have been given also might I suggest.... do you have any activites that the kids can be enrolled in.... IE morning programs at the local library appropriate for their age groups. Some are even free If you are taxinng them, and they have something to do besides annoy one another or watch tv... it helps. Swim team? Swim lessons in the area? the columbus pool s are offering free swim lessons yo might want to check that out...You would be enriching their lives while giving them positive outlets and then, you can have them share or teach the younger kids some of the things they have learned. empowering them, reinforcing that they are roll models....

My favorite "punishment" for fighting kids is to make them stand in the corner and hold hands. If they refuse to hold hands or bicker while in the corner they stay there even longer! I tried this with my oldest son(12) and my nephew(11) when they were fighting with my niece(13) cheering them on. I gave them the lecture about how they should love each other not beat each other. Nothing gets their goat like having to "love" the person they had just been fighting with.

They are 12 and 9 you say? I totally agree with you. They can SO help it!

I would plan special little things throughout the day. A picnic outside for lunch, water gun tag, bicycle derby, video game challange, movie time. If they fought I would tell them, "This is not okay, and you are smart kids so you know it. You may do this at your house, but it is absolutely not going to happen at mine. If the two of you can't be in the same room together and be kind then you won't be allowed together at all while you are in my house. You won't eat in the same room, you won't do what we do. You will each take turns sitting out of what we do for the day. One of you won't bike race, one of you will eat in the kitchen while we eat outside, one of you won't play video games, one of you won't play water gun tag. You will sit inside while we have fun."

I would do it everyday until they got it. I have watched kids in my home for years and I have found that you have to put the hammer down early for them to respect you. I would start on day one that they are there. The good news is that I have found that if I do it right off the bat, then I usually only have to do it once or twice.

Unfortunately, this is probably behavior that they see modeled in their own home and think that it is normal to do. Let them see you behave respectfully toward your own family members, and have a chat with your own children about how important it is to treat others nicely. When they come, you could try sitting them down and have THEM figure out an action plan and disciplinary actions for themselves if they fight. Tell them that it makes you uncomfortable for them to fight in your home and it is a bad example for the other children, then have them talk together - with you - and write out the action plan. For example, they could say, I will not talk disrespectfully to you because I know it hurts your feelings. If I do talk disrespectfully to you, I will have a 5 minute time out in the corner, etc. Another thing you could try - and you'd have to talk to their mom about this - is having a word fast. If they cannot talk nicely to eachother, they go on word fast, where they are not allowed to talk to anyone AT ALL, for a given amount of time. Hope this helps!

I have 6 kids and deal with the same things -- sometimes what works is giving them "special" responsibilities. Tell them you think they are responsible and old enough to help with certain things (getting lunch ready, helping watch one of the little ones - taking them to the bathroom or put their shoes on...etc.) and that you would like their help. Maybe attach a small reward to it if they do it all week. I've "buddied" mine up when we go out so that my 14 yo is in charge of the 4 yo, the 11 yo is in charge of the 7 yo and the 9 yo helps me (she's the difficult one...) (my oldest is 18 so he's never around:( The more attention you give to the behavior, the more it seems to escalate. Keeping them busy with what seems to them to be important tasks should keep them from bugging each other. The 12 yo boy is probably feeling like he doesn't need a "sitter" anymore too, so he might be trying to make your life difficult. Does he have friends he can go to play with during the week? (although that may take some of your income, it may be worth it for your sanity!).

Best of luck to you! Thanks for being one of those sitters who truly seem to care for the kids they are watching! You're a rare and precious gift! As a former working mom who relied on sitters, I know! God Bless!