Help with Inexpensive Bridal Shower and Wedding Gifts

Updated on May 12, 2009
L.D. asks from Torrington, CT
18 answers

hi moms,

i have a cousin who is getting married next month and have been invited to both the bridal shower and wedding. i cannot go to the wedding, and actually also have another committment on the day of the shower, but am going to try to make it to that day somehow. the dilema is that i honestly don't have any funds to buy gifts... we struggle to make the mortgage payment monthly. while she is about 15 years younger than i and we are not close at all, i still want to be respectful. there isn't anyone that i can 'go in with' on a gift either.

i have never been in this sort of predicament before and not sure what to do. she lives in tennessee but will up in new york for these events. i am very crafty, but even the cost of materials for homemade items can add up too. any and all suggestions and ideas welcomed! thank you all in advance.

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B.K.

answers from Boston on

I know it may sound crass... but I think this is a perfect time to think about regifting. Do you have a nice dish or a beautiful throw that you just don't use? Chances are there is something fairly new, that looks new (at least) and that you don't really use or need. Find a lovely box and some nice wrapping paper and pass it along.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.P.

answers from Hartford on

you could frame the invitation very nicely or perhaps get a photo of the couple from a family member and go to a place like Walmart or Walgreens and change it to black and white or sepia and frame it also.

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L.K.

answers from Bangor on

I really like personalized gifts that don't just end up in the pile of all the things the bride and groom picked out for themselves. That said, I totally hear you about the expense of creating someting. Often the cost of purchasing supplies is more than if you had just bought it already made off the rack.
One of my favorite new bride gifts is a Betty Crocker cook-book. I buy it used but in good-new condition from Amazon (generally really cheap) and then fill it with personal comments - loved this, skip that, needs a bit more x,y,z, etc. I basically take mine and copy all of the comments out of it. Having used it for 10 years now, I have tried most of the recipes at least once. It becomes not only a practical tool for the new bride but is also a very personal gift as well. I also recycle cloth and wrap the gift either in a cloth gift bag if I have the time to sew one or just wrapped in the fabric with a ribbon.
That said, when I got married in leu of a gift (which she just didn't have the money for) a much older friend wrote me a four page letter about all that she had learned over her years of marriage and it is still one of my most treasured gifts. It doesn't have to come with a pricey tag to be a precious gift.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Boston on

One idea that I've used and has worked well. Go get a somewhat nice bottle of wine or champagne (about $15) and write a nice note saying that this is for them to share on their ten year anniversary.

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L.L.

answers from Portland on

I have mostly always been short of cash for wedding presents ect. and so devised an economically reasonable standard (for me) wedding gift.
I buy a bottle of wine..maybe a nice Merlot ( six to nine dollars) put in two purple candles ( purple for passion costing 2-4 dollars) few sticks of insense..(1$) cork screw ( dollar store) couple wine glasses ( couple bucks at walmart.
Wrap it purdy and on tag write OPEN ON WEDDING NIGHT and remind them to take it on the honeymoon with them.
Ten to fifteen dollars should cover it..is unique enough and welcome I have been told. Gets them over the first few akward moments.
No need to feel shame if you cannot afford exoebsuve presents dear..buy within your price range..but do not feel obligated or shame.
A great many wedding gifts end up in a closet or attic, yes?
Another idea I use is a nice CD. Perhaps some romantic music?
Best wishes and God bless
Grandmother Lowell

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D.F.

answers from Boston on

Hi L.,

I just came from the dollar store, they have frames that are beautiful. Wedding frames, I saw them in shiny white and cream. They were like five dollars. Its all in the wrapping! I have bought lots of things there. One present is just fine!

Good Luck!
D.

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M.D.

answers from Burlington on

Hi L.,

It looks like you've recieved a lot of good ideas. My two cents might rehash some of what the others have already said, check their registry to see what they are interested in. That might give you some ideas. Homemade gifts like those suggested are from the heart and, I've discovered, are touching. I've noticed that people donate their wedding/anniversary presents, still in their original boxes, to the Salvation Army and other reuse shops. If something looks perfectly good, you could gift that. (Some people might think that that is cheesy, but stuff is stuff. Who cares where you get it as long as it is clean, not broken, and not stolen.) You could take a few things and make a gift basket. If you have wedding gifts that you'll never use sitting in a closet, you could regift them as long as they aren't from someone who'll recognize them at her shower/wedding/home. I'd suggest something you could do for her, but she lives too far away. I do like the photo gifts - in an album or in a frame. If you can come up with photos of the two of them. You can take photos at their wedding, as long as you don't give the professional photographer a hard time (flashes going off at the same time), and put the photos in an album for them to mail to them after the wedding.

Good luck,
: ) Maureen

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T.U.

answers from New London on

When I am looking for an affordable gift I have typed up a nice poem from free online sources I found through a google search, then I made the font nice and used paper I already have to make it look kind of scrap book like, then frame it with a frame I already have, or buy one at the dollar store. I hope you find what works for you.

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J.L.

answers from Hartford on

I understand the predicament you are in. In my opinion it is a privilege to have friends and family for support during special events but that support should not be expected in the form of gifts.

Gifts is a generous thoughtful way to be helpful and kind but it shouldn't be a requirement!

I will be honest I have always given gifts but it's because I am able to or that I can but I feel it shouldn't be a must. For instance I am not a fan of gift registry. I feel it's rude to imply where I am to shop for someone, how much I am to spend on them, and that I have to bring a gift.

When I invite guests to any of my functions I let them know that they are important and not gifts.

You know... they might not care if you can't bring gifts they just might want YOU there and not what you can provide them. Either way I do hope it works out for you.

Good Luck

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C.M.

answers from Boston on

Hi Leslie,
You can buy some inexpensive album maker kits ($20) at Walmart or Target and put together a pretty album for your cousin to pop her pictures into. I have been in this same situation, and one time I bought a beautiful etched glass wine set with decanter from a "second hand" store.. it looked perfect and was a fraction of the cost. Wrapped in pretty tissue. I did the same with a gorgeous punch bowl set (pretty pattern on the side). The bride thought it was so unique - she is into antiques. It was not expensive at all - maybe $10 for the bowl, cups and ladel. You mentioned that you are crafty, you could also take a pretty item of yours that you never used (a vase, candle holder, glass set) and regift it into a basket with tissue, candles and picture frame - all of which you can get at the Christmas Shop. It requires looking around a bit more, but may be worth a try!
Good luck!!
C. McLane, local childcare coordinator, Cultural Care Au Pair

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K.B.

answers from Boston on

Can you crochet or knit? One of my favorite wedding gifts was a hand-made crocheted blanket, or afghan, from my sister-in-law's parents. She made it the same color as our bridesmaids' dresses and my husband and I love it! It's something that we will keep forever and will always be special because it came from the heart.

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J.M.

answers from Bangor on

One of my favorite wedding gifts was a homemade recipe book. One of my friends took a photo album and added an index to it for recipes and copied many of their favorite recipes into it with blank pages for me to add my own. She put the recipes in full page plastic covers to keep the safe (the kind that you can slide pages in and out of). She even added notes about the recipes throughout (ie- my husband really loves this or this is great for picky eaters).

Good Luck!

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R.K.

answers from Springfield on

My cousin is also getting married and she registered at honeyfund.com it was great because it had everything broken down for things you could get them to use towards their honeymoon they are going to disney and one thing on there was bride/groom mouse ears at $20 a set so we purchased both for her but it has everything and gives the total needed and then its broken down into smaller amounts if she registered there or someplace like that I think it great her and her fiance have lived together for almost a year so I couldn't imagine she needed much household things but if your cousin does I suggest kitchen utensils, or some nice towels.

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K.N.

answers from Boston on

the christmas tree shop has wedding albumsin a hallmark box that areonly6.99and are pretty.also you can't go wrong with bathtowels and or kitchen gadgets and the christmas tree shops have these all for a steal or ocean state job lot.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I think if you're not going to the wedding and might not be going to the shower, one small gift is perfectly fine. You can look and see where she's registered and see if there are a few small things (couple of dollars) that you could get together. The first idea that popped into mind is to get a cookie sheet or two (even from the grocery store) and then mix up some flour, chocolate chips, etc, to make your homemade chocolate chip cookie mix. Even cheaper would be to make a "wooden spoon bouquet" and a homemade bean soup mix. A fancy dishsoap and some dishtowels would work too. Look at the dish patterns and see if you can find some matching oven mitts - mention in your card that you notice that they matched perfectly and then the gift seems extra thoughtful. All of these things would run you around $20-$25. Alternately, you could look around at used/antique stores or yard sales for a unique serving dish. Hope this helps!

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L.P.

answers from Boston on

L.,
My favorite shower gift was pre addressed thank you notes. They were not stamped just addressed to all who rsvped yes and had my return address on it. I loved it.

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N.M.

answers from New London on

Among other things in the books section - you could find out where they are going for their honeymoon and perhaps give then a book about that place.

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C.B.

answers from Boston on

If you live in the Nashua area, you can get very inexpensive gifts (and I mean like, $2 and $4...) at Mother and Child in Merrimack.

Also, I was at a yard sale yesterday and got 4 unopened onesies for a friend for $3! Just look around... You'll find something perfect!

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