Help with Baby Sleeping in Own Crib

Updated on August 18, 2009
C.N. asks from Bronx, NY
7 answers

My 15 month old has been sleeping with us in our bed since he was a few days old. We are trying to move him to his crib, but have not been successful. Does any one have any ideas on how to have this process go by less painfully.

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N.D.

answers from New York on

I dont think there is anyway to make it less painful. This is a problem with co-sleeping. At what point does the baby go into his own bed? Your son has been used to having you snuggle him for 2 years, all his life, and now he has to snuggle himself. I would think you should start with naps, if he has to go to sleep with you rocking him at naptime, put him in his crib as soon as he goes to sleep. Then he will wake up to his own bed with his toys and snuggly animals. Dont rush to take him out when he wakes up. Dont let him scream, but tell him just a minute. If he starts to fuss, make believe you have an important job to do in his room and leave him in the crib. He needs to think of his crib as a safe comfortable place to relax in.
IMO crying=it=out is too harsh for a child this young. He needs comfort. I am also not a fan of co-sleeping for this reason, when a baby is born its a huge shock and they get used to sleeping alone right away. Then they are returned to mommy's outside womb every night, instead of their own little environment.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

put some blankets on the baby's floor.. maybe he'll sleep there.. you lay down with him... when he falls asleep.. let him sleep there.. my daughter always slept on the floor.. since she was about 1 year old.. she is now 10 and still on the floor.. she loves it.. her bed it perfectly new..

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A.J.

answers from New York on

My daughter slept in my bed until a little over 2. Yes, this was crazy, but it was the only way for us to get a good night's sleep (she was up sometimes 3x a night). I bought her her own twin size bed and had it on the floor in the same room with me for awhile and also used a bed rail with it. We made it really exciting and got her Hello Kitty bedding I would lay with her on it to get her to sleep and then sneak off to my own bed. She did great and never really asked to come back in my bed. She now sleeps in her own room and through the night! You could also try this with a toddler bed, I suppose, but it's a little harder for an adult to lay down in. Good luck!

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A.S.

answers from New York on

It's not pleasant, but doesn't need to be painful. You need to teach him to sleep. Sleep is wonderful, enjoyable. Don't you love to sleep? Get any guilt you have out of your head and tell yourself that learning to fall asleep on your own is a very important skill. Then start. It will take three nights. Look it up on line if you really want to do it. IT's called sleep training. But you can do it a bit more gently than Lerner explains it.

Let him cry for ten minutes. Set the egg timer. Then you can go comfort him for a minute, but don't pick him up. Then double it to twenty if you can stand it, or stick to ten or fifteen. But you have to wait the amount of time and you cannot get him out. Crying is a natural expression of discomfort. It won't hurt him. You can even sit by the door facing away from him if that is easier for you. I found that to be more frustrating and upsetting. But some people like to sit there. You can't talk or look at him until the ten minutes is up.

You have to be consistent. You can't get him out of the crib. You have to smile. Tell him, You are so lucky. You have such a nice bed... mommy is going to sleep. After a night it takes much less time for him to sleep. By the third night, it will only take an hour. As soon as he gets it, he will understand how to soothe himself, and that you expect him too, so he won't fight it like that again. He is almost 1 1/2 you can explain it to him during the day once before you start. I have four children and that's what worked for me. My first I trained when she was so little, three months, it took one time. But by the fourth I waited (due to exhaustion) until he was just a terrible sleeper, about ten or fourteen months, and it was much more challenging. The older they are, the more stubborn. But now they are all good sleepers. My youngest is three.
Good luck! I hope I don't sound offensive. You have to do what works for you.

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L.W.

answers from New York on

It depends on why you want him in his own bed. If you aren't or he isn't sleeping well, then cool, give it a try. If it's only because you think he "should" sleep in his own bed, then why bother if it isn't working? He'll want his own "Big boy" bed soon enough. I'd start with naps, as another person said. Check out the _No Cry Sleep Solution_ - there are some good ideas in there to be gentle to your baby. Like - try putting him in the crib when he is sleepy but not asleep. Or start with a "side-car" crib - put the crib tight against your bed with one side down (look for tips on how to do this safely). It will give you all more room for sleeping and will introduce him gently to his bed. When he's used to it you can try putting on the side, and maybe moving it across the room and/or into his own room. Good luck! Co-sleeping is so sweet to share, and kudos to you for being able to do it for so long.

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E.Y.

answers from New York on

Maybe wait a few months longer (I know, you must already be exhausted!) and transition him to a big bed with rails? Forget the crib altogether. We just did this with our 21-month old, but I am confident she knows how to slide out carefully by herself if she wants to go out and will not try climbing over the rails. I still lay next to her as she goes to sleep and then I get up as soon as she's asleep (but for the first few weeks my husband stayed in bed with her too through the night). It surprisingly has gone very smoothly, and now we all sleep much better with her in her own room. We have a video monitor which is great too, as I can watch her without entering her room.

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L.R.

answers from New York on

I don't think I have any advice. I have a 13 month old that his been sleeping with me since he was born. He did sleep in his crib without transition from Dec. 18th to March 5th but then he develop separation anxiety. The doc gave us the okay for a toddler bed at 18 mos.

L.

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